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HUMOROUS Exercise Quotes and One-liners
By Jerry Aragon Ph.D (Phunny humor Doctor)   

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I've been in the humor business for over 50 years, and I never get tired of making people laugh. We all know that laughter is the best medicine, for whatever ails you...the positive and healing power of humor.

"Exercise is a dirty word.  Everytime I say it, I wash out my mouth with chocolate."  Judy Davenport

This is my all-time favorite quote;
"We humans are perfect examples that God has a sense of humor."  Scribbeto Bungo 

"My idea of exercise, is a brisk sit."  Phyliss Diller

"I have to exercise early in the morning, before my brain figures out what the hell I'm doing."  Marsha Doble

I lost so much weight, and I'm so skinny now, that I have to run around in the shower to get wet! 

"A man's health is judged by which he takes; pills or stairs."  Joan Welch 

"Fitness: if it came in a bottle, everyone would be in good shape."  Cher

"If it were not for the televisions and refrigerators...some people would not get any exercise at all."  Joey Adams

"For those who think they have no time for bodily exercise...will find out later...they will have time for bodily illness."  Edmund Stanley

areobics (description);  a series of exercises, which helps fats, sugars, starches into aches, pains and cramps. 

"I consider exercise vulgar.  It makes people smell."  Alec Thorton

If your dog is know you've been getting enough exercise. 

"I'm pushing 60 years of age...and that's enough exercise for me."  Mark Twain 

"Whenever I feel like exercising...I lay down for a few minutes...until the feeling goes away." Robert Hutchin

I don't care about being big and strong...I just want to look good naked.

Exercise: A poor man's plastic surgery.

Exercise is inspiring...I love to be surrounded by dumb-bells.

Maybe the reader has heard this a few times from the arrogant...
I don't sweat, honey, I glisten! 

Runners make the best girlfriends...catch me if you can...

Philosopher:  I'm in no shape to exercise. 

I may be fat and slow...but what's your excuse?

God must love calories...because He made so many!

Did you know that...sweat is FAT crying.

I keep trying to lose weight...but, it keeps finding me.

Of course, I'm in shape.  Isn't ROUND a shape? 

I lost so much weight and I am so skinny, that I only have one back pocket...

Believe me, I would go to the gym more often, if it had a smoking section!

I DONUT work out to look this good. 

My exercise consists of clicking and double-clicking and that's all I need.

And last, but not least...

I signed up for an exercise class, and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing.  If I had loose-fitting clothing...I would not have signed up for the exersice class in the first place!

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Copyright; 2011; Jerry Aragon; The Humor Doctor;
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