The good news is…you don’t have prove your ancestry to be a member, or even to be a Don, in this Mob. In fact, where you were born or loyalty to your country doesn’t seem to matter at all these days. The really important is thing is that you swear allegiance to DRMG and place it above God, Country and your immediate family.
Now with this Mob, instead of having Mob wars to decide who the Capo de Tutti Capo will be, they have elections. What’s really unique about these elections are that you don’t have to be a member of the mob to vote for the Capo de Tutti Capo.
This process was actually exemplified in Woody Allen’s movie, "Take the Money and Run". It’s the scene where Woody and his gang of crooks, and another gang of crooks, hold up the same supermarket at the exact same time. The sticky situation was quickly resolved when Woody called for a vote from the victims… "How many of you people want to be robbed by us? Show of hands please!" Now how many of you people want to be robbed by them?
Now the mob family structure is same, but the family names are different. You have three families these days that make up the "Government"….The Democratzios, The Republicantis and the Mediaosos.
You do have to be a member of either the Democratzios or Republicantis crime families to run for The Capo de Tutti Capo position. However, The Mediaosos still holds the balance of power as to which of the two families will rule.
Back when Charles Lucky ran the old Mob, his Mediaosos family was known as Murder Incorporated. Like today’s Mediaosos, their job was to keep the members in line and take out those who got out of line. They did it with guns; today, The Mediaosos do it by echoing lies and hiding and twisting the truth. You can actually see some of The Mediaosos’ best work in a truthful non mob made movie about Sarah Palin, called Undefeated. Sarah got out of line you see…She put God, Country, family and the people who elected her to office over the mob’s self interests. You see she’s the type of a woman that won’t take orders from the mob. So she had to be taken out.
Well, in any event, the DRMG is going give us two guys to choose from to be Capo de Tutti Capo again this November. Luckily, both of them will create billions of new higher paying jobs, pay off the 15 trillion dollar national debt, provide free health care for everyone and bring gas and food prices back to affordable levels. Not only that, they’ll put an end to the corruption in Washington, too! Don’t take my word for it, folks, just ask the Mediaosos.
However, folks, just in case the Mediaosos are fibbing to us again, it might be a really good idea to start stocking up on canned foods, blankets, candles and matches while you still have the chance.