Beyond my Control
My story begins with a brief understanding of who I am, touching on my teenage years struggling with the eating disease; anorexia nervosa. After spending three months in hospital I left Australia and returned to England, I was sixteen at the time.
Living in England, desperately trying to break the vicious cycle I was in, another condition suddenly enters my life; epilepsy. My body and mind was overcome with something peculiar. Not knowing the signification of these weird sensations I was feeling I wasn't overly concerned. That was soon about to change.
Arriving home in Australia I soon managed to secure a job working for a glass company. My unknown condition began to escalate, forcing me to hand in my resignation. I embarked upon an arduous, frustrating task of tracing a diagnosis and treatment. After a long search all leading to dead ends, my mystery condition was soon about to reveal itself.
Driving home late one evening, I was overcome with a horrid sensation which engulfed my entire body and mind. Trying to escape, I slid out of my car and suffered two major epileptic seizures on the roadside.
At the beginning anticonvulsant medication controlled my seizures and I started to enjoy life. During this exciting passage of time I met my wife to be, Lisa and an ambition of mine became a reality. I opened my own stained glass store. Absolutely elated business went off to a flying start. The future was full of promise.
A change suddenly developed with my epilepsy. I started to suffer frequent seizures which were frightening experiences for many people. My post seizure response turned to one with an ugly, sinister twist. Lisa and I being very much in love married during this time of instability and became proud parents of two beautiful children, Jordan and Lucy.
After fifteen years of trading epilepsy took control and I was forced to relinquish my business. My seizures wracked my body and mind every few days, and I feared for the safety of my family. Emotionally I was shattered, accompanied with an overwhelming feeling of shame and hopelessness.
Something needed to be done. After speaking with my neurologist we were satisfied that there was only one course of action to pursue. I underwent a series of tests, some gruelling, to establish whether I could be a candidate for seizure surgery.
All systems were going. I awoke in the post operative recovery room with a multitude of wires protruding from my skull. I entered the often frightful world of the totally bizarre and delusional. One horrendous vision resembled a gruesome murder scene which I desperately tried to escape from. Security guards had to strap me to the bed.
The seemingly endless postoperative journey was a period of ever changing events. I exposed the people I love to some undeniably strange and deeply worrisome happenings. Thankfully, with time allowed me to be the person I truly am, happy, supportive, loving and kind.
Instead of tearing my family apart, the ordeal we endured has brought us closer together. The bond between us is stronger than ever.
