How OLD are you?
You are only as old as you FEEL!
But, what if you have a Teenager TRAPPED inside a 68-year-old BOD with Aches N' Pains that feel like you are 86?
THIS - my Friends N' Fiends - is where HUMOR helps a lot!
To BE - or Not to BE -
THAT - is the Question!
and the Answer is ...
opening Envelope ...
DRUM ROLL ...
"THANK YOU, LORD, FOR ONE MORE BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL DAY !!!
© - Tom Hyland - 01-06-09
Age - Minus Nine Months = Only a Gleam in Daddy’s Eye!
Age - Plus Six Months = SOON!
Age - Zero = E.R. Ward - Daylight at End of Tunnel!
Age - One MINUTE = WAAAAAAH! It’s A BOY! It’s A GIRL!
Cigars All Around!
Age - One Year = First Happy Birthday!
Age Seven Years = the Supposed Age of Reason =
Knowing Right from Wrong? But - Do They?
First Confession and First Holy Communion.
Age Twelve = ALMOST TEENAGER - YAY!
Age Thirteen Years = Confirmation or Bar/Bas Mitzvah.
Age Sixteen = SWEET SIXTEEN = First Kiss?
First PREGNANCY? No Contract Abilities!
Age Eighteen = Old Enough to Go to WAR and DIE!
BUT - NOT TO VOTE - in Some States!
Age Twenty-One = ADULT! = Responsibility! =
Legal DRINKING Age! = Set ‘Em Up, Joe!
Age Twenty-Five = Almost Middle-Aged - AND -
Hopefully - a College Graduate - BUT BROKE!
Age Thirty = CONGRATULATIONS! = MIDDLE-AGED!
Age FORTY = Over The HUMP! =
ALL DOWN-HILL NOW! WORK YOUR BUNS OFF!
Age Fifty = Welcome to AARP!
Start Thinking About RETIREMENT PLANNING!
Age Sixty-Five = USED TO RETIRE AT FULL SSA BENEFITS!
Now - ADD 6-9-12 Months or Get PENALIZED!
AGE SIXTY-EIGHT = ME! = OLD - BROKE - RETIRED -
BUT - Still Must WORK Part-Time or STARVE!
Age Seventy = Usually = WELCOME TO NURSING HOME!
Age Seventy-Five = Still Alive, but No More JIVE!
Age Eighty = DUH? WHO AM I?
Age Ninety = WHO ARE YOU?
Age Ninety-Five = EVEN KIDS ARE DEAD NOW!
AGE ONE HUNDRED = FULL CIRCLE! =
BUT WHO CARES, OR GIVES A RAT’S RECTUM?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HELL - IT’S JUST A NUMBER - RIGHT?
© - TKH
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