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Diamonds vs Kisses . . . a Flippant Commentary on Women’s Lib !
By Linda Alexander   

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Smoochie, smoochie, smoochie. Heck, it's almost Valentine's Day. Let's neck.

Kiss . . . .

Say the word out loud using many inflections. Write the word on paper, over and over and over and then really look at it. Does it do anything for you? Does it make every nerve in your body tingle? Unless you’re an extremely-erotic person, the simple execution of the word itself, written or spoken, probably finds you no more excited than the use of the word "tomato.”

Then what is it about "a kiss” that leads little boys to steal them from little girls? Or causes big girls to dream about receiving them from big boys? What are kisses so important - at work and at play? All around the world?

The "lip-to-lip” kiss - I specify because there are many types - is probably the most socially-acceptable intimacy in present times. Depending on how it’s done, the lip-to-lip kiss can either leave you unmoved, moved as far as across the street or, if you’re really lucky, it might send you sailing all the way around the world. At least twice.

Rarely does anyone want to hear about the kiss that takes you no farther than the curb. It was pleasant. It had more merit than the consumption of asparagus. Period. End of discussion.

But the kiss that takes you, the armchair traveler, to exotic places, makes you feel as if you’re standing inside an overcrowded pincushion - now, that’s a kiss that screams for recognition.

I’ve heard it said that, on Valentine’s Day, a man should give a diamond, or multiple diamonds, to his favorite lady. What is a woman to offer a man in return?

A kiss.

That’s all. Yes, that’s all . . . a kiss. As far as I’m concerned, if that’s what a lady presents to a man who’s just presented her with a diamond, it better be a lip-to-lip kiss whose memory will not only keep him well-heated on a cold night. He should be able to stick his tongue out and use the remains of its taste for at least a week’s worth of leftovers. He’s entitled to enough lasting electricity to illuminate the National Christmas tree in downtown Washington, DC on verbal command. And at very least, he should receive a free visit to the hospital emergency room to discover why his ears won’t stop ringing.

A kiss should always mean more than the meeting of two pair of lips. It should be the cornerstone of a relationship. Your oral touch should be your calling card. If you kiss with heart, you will never be forgotten.

People are often asked if they remember their first kiss. Why would such a question be posed if it weren’t something contemplated for centuries? Why is a kiss accepted as a gift worth giving?

Ladies, let’s liberate ourselves as women and at the same time, reclaim the feminity that the women’s movement has managed to bury.

In other words, let’s kiss for freedom. That’s not to suggest we should kiss everyone we meet. Noooo, no, no, no. That would only cheapen the act. Kiss only the people most important to you. Really, really kiss your soulmate. And when you kiss those precious people, allow your technique to reflect your very soul.

So the next time you receive a diamond, ladies,  even if it’s not Valentine’s Day, pucker up and show the stuff you’re made of!


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