By Tom Hyland
The Bewitching Hour is rapidly approaching!
Have you decided on your Costume yet?
Every year I go to my all-time favorite store - DOLLAR TREE - and for the paltry sum of $5-10 -
confabulate some kind of ridiculous outfit.
Last year I was a pitiful Pirate - pic above1
This year I'll be a GHOUL - bedecked with Hungarian Goulash Vomit - and Gollashes!
For you young-uns out there, the generic term used to be - RUBBERS!
© - Tom Hyland - 10-29-09
Review for Georg -
EDVARD AARDVARK NOSFERATU INCUBUS -
METHINKS YOU HAVE SNORTED ONE TOO MANY PUMPKIN SEEDS!
THOU SOUNDS CRAZIER THAN JOISEY DEVIL ON HIS WEEDS!
A DIRTY OLD MAN WITH INCOMPREHENSIBLE WANTON NEEDS!
I'M BRINGING HOLY WATER, A CRUCIFIX, AND
Someone once said that if the government fear the people, you have a democracy but if people fear the government, you have a dictatorship. I'm inclined to believe that you have a dictatorship and have had one for the better part of the century. Yikes.
I THINK YOU ARE RIGHT.
Only, more like a CORPORATORSHIP - RUN BY DICS!
I just COINED that! TK.
Posted by J'nia Fowler (author) at 10/5/2009 3:42:18 AM
Hi Tom Hyland:
In economics, corporation is treated as though it were a living entity with the same inherent rights as human beings. However, the way it functions can be classified as being psychopathic. Scarey! J'nia
Anti-Social Behavior - Hooray for Us - and ScrewYou!
We need Congress to Change the Law and Restrict
Corporation Rights and Make them More Accountable!
They Are Not ‘Above the Law’ - but are Allowed to Act So!
CEO’s Need to be Prosecuted Individually for Indiscretions -
Not Protected by The Corporate Cloak!
Peace - TK.
Posted by Lori Moore (author) at 10/3/2009 9:37:08 PM
You're too funny. I don't care for ambulance chasers either, but personal injury and torts are only a small part of legal spectrum. When it comes to criminal law, everyone deserves the very best representation possible. Especially, since the cards are stacked against the defendant from the start.
The idea of innocent until proven guilty in many cases is a farce. I've represented the innocent on more than one occasion when, had they been left to the public defender’s office, would be in prison today. I object to the bastards with badges who are willing to lie under oath to protect their brotherhood, while knowing full well that their false testimony will cost the innocent dearly.
Police rarely testify in a way that contradicts a fellow officer, even if they know the officer in question is lying. Without a good attorney, many innocent people would be behind bars. The system is flawed indeed, but the attorney is only one small part of the problem. For now, continue with your objections counselor… and I’ll continue with mine.
Hi Lori Moore:
LORI - MEA CULPA, MEA CULPA, MEA MAXIMA CULPA!
1. Didn't know you were a lawyer - I should curb my passions by saying Some, or Most, but not All. I know stereotyping is Wrong - but Congressional Lawyers really Piss me off!
2. All you say is true, about criminal law - and good defense attorneys are needed, and probably few and far between. And, the BOYZ IN BLUE - Piss me off too. I suspect that a lot of their 'Code of Silence' comes from many of them having come from a military background - and many power-hungry miscreants on board.
3. Thank you for your understanding, as well as maintaining a sense of both wit and humor.
4. Counselor does have a better ring to it, a nicer connotation perhaps? I've always gotten a little smile when entering a business, which has a prominent sign at the entrance saying - "NO SOLICITING!" ... As my feeble mind tends to think of the British word -SOLICITOR for lawyer ... Ergo- interpretation quickly erupts as - "NO LAWYERS!"
Pax Tecum ... TK.
JOISEY HOSS - OH, HOW EWE DEW 'WHINNY'!
Didn't know there was much left inside there to REMOVE?
OR - could it be that the docs lied?
Instead of removal, maybe they did an IMPLANT ?
Suppose they inserted a nice, warm, soft -
"MEADOW MUFFIN" ???
That might could SPLAIN a lot .....
KEEP ON KEEPIN' ON - MY FOUR-LEGGED FRIEND ...
RE: My Nephew - Cap’n Jim -
A lovely eulogy and filled with fun! How do you pronounce that- Chinco-teek? And how about Arabia Ave. and Lansdowne? Strange names up in those parts! it seems. My uncle did crab baskets too in Central Fla. Is there a better taste than steaming crabs? Enjoyed this.
RANDY - Thanks! Yep - Chink-o-teek - an Island in Virginia, in the Chesapeake Bay, nestled near Assateaque Island.
by Tom Hyland (author) at 10/16/2009 4:40:12 AM
GEORG - Thanks for telling me - didn't remember the source.
You prompted me to go do so - had forgotten Whitman's Tribute to Lincoln ...
I read this poem last night aloud - had around 100 people laughing out loud in the Funeral Parlor - even his wife liked it ... and asked me to repeat it at the Friday morning service.
Sometimes we need to focus on the GOOD -
as in Antony's reference to Caesar ...
thanx - Tom.
Re: Debral Conkling’s - ENDING -
DEBRA - WATCH OUT FOR THAT 'DIRTY OLD MAN' GEORG!
NOW - My suggestion would be -
a Pure White Bottle of MALIBU Coconut Rum -
a Nice, Warm Glow from a Pellet Stove -
don't have to worry about any Hot Ashes popping out on Us -
a Really Soft Fire-Engine-RED Velour Blanket -
with Matching Thick Pillows -
about Ten Big, Thick Apple-Cinnamon Candles Flickering & Surrounding Us - solely for Therapeutic Aroma-Therapy purposes -
some Edible, Aromatic Oils for Reiki Therapy, while the Practitioner (ME) rubs the Patient (YOU) Down ALL OVER ... Thus Reducing Stress, Fatigue, and Pain - enhancing Energy Flow - EVERYWHERE!
YOU TALK - I LISTEN ... AND RUB, AND RUB, AND RUB ...
until Finally - You Say: "Guy? What Guy?" ....
Your Willing Soother ... DIRTY OLE MAN TOMKAT !!!
RE: PEEWEE’S - SWEDISH MEATBALLS - CHAPTER V -
PEEWEE - JOISEY - EDVARD THE AARDVARK - MA-VELOUS MA - MISCELLANEOUS GHOULISH GUESTS -
1. What do West Virginians DO for Halloween ?
2. Why can't Witches have Babies ?
3. Who Killed Cock Robin ?
Those who get all 3 Answers Correct get a Prize -
All the Remaining 'HORS DRAWERS ORTS ... LEFTOVERS
at the End of the Main Meal ...
MA'S SWEDISH MEATBALLS RECIPE:-
1 - DOLLOP OF DINGBAT = EDVARD AARDVARK'S - SNOUT-SNOT !
2 - DASHES OF DERVISH DEW = PEEWEE'S - WARTHOG EAR-WAX EXTRACTION !
3 - PINCHES OF JOISEY DEVIL'S - DISGUSTING DELECTABLE DEVILED EGG DINGLE-BERRY DUNG !
4 - TABLE-SPOONS OF LA BELLE'S - LACKADAISICAL LAP-DANCE LOTION !
5 - FORKFULS OF WOLFMAN'S - PULLED PORK FLATULENT FANG FANTASY !
6 - SOCKFULS OF SECRETED TOE-CHEESE SAUCE FROM KATE'S - CULINARY KITCHEN !
7 - JIGGERS OF INDIAN JOES'S = KICKAPOO JOY JUICE GELATIN !
8 - OUNCES OF JASMIN JAZZMAN'S - JASMINE TEA JALEPENO HORMONE CONCOCTION !
9 - NIBLETS OF TEXAS' TWINS - TWANGY TERIYAKI TERRAPIN/TORTOISE/TAIL TAPIOCA !
10 - AND THE PIE'CE DE RE'SISTANCE ...
SIXTY-NINE POUNDS OF - MALODOROUS MANGY MUSKRAT MEAT !!! YUM-YUM!
MAY YOUR BALLS - OF MEAT - MARINATE IN MUSHY MUSHROOM MARINADE ... MUCHLY!
TOM 'THE TERRIBLE' TONGUE-TWISTING TELEPATHICAL TELEKENISIS TRANSPORTER!
OH - ANSWERS?
1. PUMP ... KIN ...
2. HUSBAND’S HAVE HOLLOW WEENIES!
3. MA - WITH HER RECIPE!!!
RE: John Martin’s - The People vs. the DRMG -
JOHN - WE'RE BOTH ON THE SAME PAGE -
I hate to state my ignorance of other 3rd parties - but is there one existing that is simply called THE AMERICAN PARTY? or even, THE NATIONAL PARTY?
You know, just like baseball and football - IF they did, or do exist, I would still fear that their members just might be SECOND-STRINGERS from the DRMG ?
Maybe the answer is simply THE 'TEA' PARTY ?
T = TOUCH
E = EVERY
A = AMERICAN
RE: Regis’ - Give Me a Break -
REG - WELL SAID ...
Could you be saying that the SECRET IS - there is NO SECRET?
OR - could it simply be that POWER begets POWER?
The rich get richer - the poor get poorer -
in the meantime, in between time -
AIN'T WE GOT FUN?
IF - Daddy just happens to be rich - and you don't like your silver spoon - buy a GOLD one, or a PLATINUM one!
IF - Daddy happens to be poor - then SUCK HIND TIT!
IF - Daddy is MIDDLE INCOME - ENJOY YOUR MEDIOCRITY -
KEEP ROWING THE FREAKING BOAT!
Peace, my Friend ... Tom.
RE: Matlack’s - Living Life as a Vegetable -
Besides fruits and veggies, don't forget - NUTS!
You have been living some time now as a NUT - BUT ...
deep down inside, what you really are is a - KUMQUAT !!!
An almost, similar, quasi- could-be little ORANGE !
Oran ju glad I divulged that lil pearl?
TOSSED SALAD TOO - THAT'S THE REAL YOU!
PIECE - OF FRUIT ? TK.
RE: My - TA-DAH !
DEAR CUZ EDvard -
ewe r such a soothing soothsayer ... and sew kind 2 ...
an' I resent yew callin' yerself a DUMB SUCKER!
YOU R MORE LIKE A SMART SUCKER!
Well - SMART-ASSED anyway!
TA - TAH - BACK AT'CHA! TK.
RE: My - MORE CRAP? -
Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
Spot on, spot on, spot on!!!!!! Well done, TomKat!
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
DEAR KARLA - THANKS, DOLL!
And the corollary is ...
“OUT - OUT - DAMNED SPOT!” ? ? ? ? L MacB Smiling!
Geez Tom, the only thing I would suggest is that Salaries and bonus's should be tied to how their individual corporations decreasd unemployment, created jobs and contributed to a national healthcare plan.
On the whole, I agree 100 kagillion %.
DAN - Thanks for comments - your idea is SUPERB!
That’s why the LYING R-B’s ON THE HILL WON’T DO IT!
Right on target, as usual, Tom. During the Bush administration I bought chest waders and a close pin for my nose so I could wade through the stuff and not gag on the smell.
Now I’m wearing neck waders and a gas mask. It won’t be long now before we’re all going to need deep sea diving suits.
DEAR JOHN - Thanks for comments!
The old saying comes to mind -
“Roll up your pants-legs - it’s too late to save your shoes!” Tom.
Now, in Nam it was a daily fourth of July which the fly-boys entertained us with those napalm eggs their birds dropped out there. Afterward we could go on for miles without meeting a molesting goon sniper or anything else.
We should be doing it in Afghanistan's mountains hidings, get busy with napalm, say "too bad" to collateral damage (the baddies are hiding among them) and drop a few more eggs which will take trees, bushes and anything those boogeymen try to use as a cover. Then, by night use drones warm-search-cameras and spry those caves with Hellfire missiles up they chimneys, and say oops! if you caught an "innocent" poppy grower in the proceedings.
DEAR GEORG EDvark - The ELDER ‘MEATBALL’ -
Thanks for detailing your 1st hand experience! The average, ill-informed American non-military Nudnick has NO CLUE!
Just imagine - REPLACING every high-ranking General with VETERAN FOOT-SOLDIERS - then let them DO THEIR THING ...
TWO WARS - OVER - DONE - FINITO - IN ‘SHORT’ TIME!
PEACE BRO ... CUSSIN’ CUZ ...
An honest and powerfully expressive poem,I like the passion in it.take care
Thank you, kind Sir ... Tom.
This is great stuff indeed. I agree with you all the way on this one. Right on point with the Afghan heroin angle too. Just read an article today by William Engdahl detailing this very same topic. ALL great empires were build with drug money. British East India Company with opium and right on down the line. Sad truth, if American banks ceased laundering narco-dollars, our economy would collapse overnight.
PETE - Thanks for comments ... you are right about the banks too! Tom.
Now this is one memorable rant! And reasonably credible too. Patrick
PAT - Thanks for comments. Always appreciated ... Tom.
If anyone can put out more crap than the government, its you, Tom...LOL, always friends, Ed
DEAR MATCHLESS -
“THE TRUTH SHALL SET ME FREE!”
UNLESS ‘THEY’ SEND ME TO GITMO!
PEACE ... PECKERHEAD ... TK ...
RE: My - REINLESS -
The word and image "forlorn and forlorn hope" came swiftly to my mind. You probably are familiar with the term as it relates to those men who during the war of the north and south were the first to storm the enemy.
They would all perish in their attempts but they did provide shelter with their dead bodies so that the men behind them might have a better chance of survival and success in their mission to conquer the enemy.
I'm thinking that the plebes are this first group of sacrificial lambs and the government is the enemy. But how many plebes have to be vanquished before the enemy is subdued?
Forlorn Hope indeed!
Cannon Fodder - Suicide Mission.
Washington Crossing the Delaware - Valley Forge!
Ethan Allen and The Green Mountain Boys!
"Fifty-Four Forty, or Fight!' - Oregon Territory Dispute.
“Remember The Alamo!” - Mexican War.
The Battle of Gettysburg.
The Battle of San Juan Hill -
“Remember Pearl Harbor!”
‘D-DAY” - The Normandy Invasion!
"38th Parallel' - Korean War.
Russians in Afghanistan.
The Viet Nam War.
Kuwait - Desert Storm.
“Remember The Towers!’
Invasion of Iraq.
NORTH KOREA AGAIN?
IRAN? JERUSALEM? PALESTINE?
Plebeians - the common people - Our Troops!
Our Sons and Daughters ...
The 'government' itself, the so-called 'leaders' NEVER actually
GO & FIGHT ... 'they' send the 'Fruit of Our Loins' -
how CONVENIENT, eh Wot?
Peace, Dear Friend ... Tom.
RE: My - 7 come 11 -
Good point. I understand that English is a very difficult language to learn because of the exceptions. And now even our domestic offspring can't even complete a sentence.
Maybe Game boy replaced Sesame Street and the kids now have terrific thumb action in place of eloquent tongue action.
"wha!!! I dunno!!! if evaan!!! tsawl good!! and all with the adjective f___ing . A tad scarey. J'nia
YEP! You 'nailed' it! A "LOST GENERATION" ...
But what astonishes me is - the number of young white males that not only 'walk the walk' of the Hip-Hoppers - but also DRESS the part, with the disgusting baggy pants, etc.
Years ago, at Hopkins, when Pants were ordered for me (uniform for P.O.) - they did not fit! We sent them back, and re-ordered - same result? The manufacturer's rep even came in and Measured the pants in front of us - 29 inches from Inseam to cuff - but guess what - ALL their pants were being made with a longer length from Waist to Crotch - thus causing the legs to drag the floor!
Hip-Hopper STYLE was RULING! I sent them back, bought my own pants that fit - and got re-imbursed - AND - they were CHEAPER!
Peace - Dear Northern Neighbor! TK.
TomKats aren't on box-cars but in alleys you dimwit you! and also Felix can't say seveneleven, just spit disgusting hair balls on the persian carpet!
DEAR EDvark ANT-SUCKER!
Who in the Hell is Felix? And who can Afford a Persian carpet?
And - you should take those disgusting hair-balls and GLUE them on yer OLD BALD HEAD!
And ... DIMWIT THIS!
AGAPE LOVE ... TOM’MEOW’KAT ...
U come up with the best stuff, that train car is worth a bunch depending on its age...but you aren't...LOL, Edd
YO - ED ...
How YOU Doin’? That train car is only one of the complete set of Lionel, that my Dad and I bought around 1952 or 1953.
Although it is not in ‘fine’ condition - it was ‘used’ carefully and lovingly for many, many years in a family setting. - and still WORKS!
A year or so ago, I delivered two boxes - the train set, along with Plasticville houses and other ‘garden stuff’ to a father and son, to check it out. They have a FABULOUS YEAR-ROUND LAYOUT. After about 3 weeks of his ‘investigation’ he INSULTED me with an offer of $175.00 for the whole kit and kaboodle!
Some day, some knowledgeable collector, who already has good tracks (mine are old, and rusty, and would only need cleaning, which is WORK to some people) and a good Transformer (mine is questionable) - will appreciate its value and offer me $500.00 (or hopefully More) - and my train set will have a New Home!
ALL ABOARD! Baltimore - Philadelphia - New York - Chicago - St. Louis - and Points West ....
Choo-Choo ... Woo-Woo... Clickety- Clack around the track .......
Peace Dear Friend ... and GOOD HEALTH !!! TOM.
Damn that English language.
You really meant DARN, didn't you?
Wouldn't want to upset any Bloody Brits, would we?
Another in the classic Hylundian form and expression. Thanks, Tom. Love and peace,
REG - thank you, kind Sir! Don’t know how Classic - but definitely me!
GOOD WRITE....GOOD TO VENT POETICALLY...NO MATTER WHAT THE SUBJECT BE. THANKS FOR SHARING AND BLESSINGS. JOYCE * HIS INSPIRATIONS
Thank you Dear! Was I venting? Or Preaching? Or Teaching?
I Dunno! Tom.
RE: John V. Martin’s Blog - What to do? What to Do?
Tom Hyland said...
JOHN - I AGREE WITH THE LAST PART, MOSTLY.??
1. Bring all our Troops back home.?
2. Station them in all major cities where Drugs are a problem. ?
3. The regular 'cops' obviously can't handle the problem, let alone eliminate it. The Troops are still on the military payroll anyway, so let them do a 'SEARCH & DESTROY' Mission, right HERE, at Home!?
4. Less Troops will die - less will lose limbs from IED's ?and less innocent victims will die from drug wars!??
WIN-WIN Situation all around!??Tom.
RE: Randall Davis Barfield’s Blog - Socialism! -
Let us not forget - 'Public' School System - 'Public' Libraries - 'Public' Transportation - 'Public' Sewer System - 'Public' Utilities (which somehow now seek Profits!) -
'Social' Events, like: Basketball, Football, Baseball, Hockey, Tennis, Golf ... and even Dance 'Socials' ...
It is really the 'isms' we should beware - marxISM, communISM, fascISM, fanatacISM, muslimISM, doctrinISM, et alia ...
it's OK to be SOCIAL - but Not ISM ...
RE: My - Treat or Trick? -
Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
Oh, look!! It's the Lone Stranger! LOL Too cute; well done!
(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D
Am going as myself on Saturday, though I will look like a pumpkin: wearing an orange shirt; going to help out at my church, for their annual Harvest Festival for a few hours; will be busy greeting people! :)
“GIT UM UP SCOUT ...” HI-YO SL-iiiiiiii-VER!
Good on you Gal ... Orange Pumpkin Helping People is Nice! TK.
And should you Hear an Eerie Growl
Know that Wolfman’s on the Prowl!
I certainly will be, and ye best have the Good Candy when I howl outside yer door!
Pee Wee Wolfman Ed (And don't listen to Georg, I always get my rabies shot and tags before I go out wanderin on Howloween.)
DEAR WOLF-PEE -
You are probably as fearful and ferocious as a Miniature Chihuahua!
But, I do like your word - ‘Howloween’ - hope it is a Coin! TK.
And watch for wolf-man PeeWee too, he ain't got the rabies shot yet!!!
DEAR AARDVARK ED -
WOLF-PEE SAID YOU LIED! AND WEE-MAN SHOULD KNOW! TK.
How about a tricky treat?
LORI - That’s the Best Offer I’ve had Today!
That picture alone could put me back in the hospital...ya hadda get me while I'm eating...LOL, Ed
ED - I WAS "ZOR-BUN-ZO !
A ZORRO WITH PICTURES OF PLAYBOY BUNNIES ALL OVER MY CAPE.
THE OUTER ONES ONLY SHOWED 'HOOTERS' -
BUT - WHEN SOMEONE LIFTED THE CAPE AND LOOKED AT THE UNDERSIDE ... "GOOD GAWD GERTIE - WHAT A GASH!'
TURNED A 'TRICK' OR 2 THAT NITE! TK.
RE: My - BEAUTY -
We are Whatever we Think and Feel we Are!
I think you are right, my friend. And right now, I think I’m a very ravenous wolfman in need of another cup of coffee, and a cookie!
MY DEAR CUZ WOLF-BREATH:
Ah, yes - a cup of Joe, percolated from pitchblend and wolfsbane -
and a nice warm Cookie - blended from ground wolf spiders and wolfberry, with little chips of - wolframite!
Sure to Whet Your Wolf Whistle!
© - TKH
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