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  Home > Humor > Stories > Get a Real Job, Scammer
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Get a Real Job, Scammer!
By Donna Hale Chandler   


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I'm not completely stupid. I know there are crooks out there in the big bad world but I had no idea that there were sooooo many!

 

Several months ago I moved from my comfy little one-bedroom condo into the home of my sweetheart. We did not make this decision on a whim and had discussed the pros and cons for quite a while. For Dick, the most rewarding ‘pro’ was that he would no longer be forced to make the long 10.9 drive to see me. Yes, I’m serious. He truly checked it and it was exactly 10.9 miles from his driveway to mine, and this very nearly was a deal-breaker when we first met.
 
But that is not the purpose today’s
rendering. Today I want to let you know that crazy, bad guys are out there walking amongst us. Scammers who spend more time and energy on their latest and greatest scam then most people do at their ordinary job. It’s a sad state of affairs that some of these people are very smart and if they’d only use a portion of that intelligence in a positive way, the world would be a much safer and happier place.
 
After the move into Dick’s home with a real front and back yard, I investigated the cost of listing my little condo for rent in the local newspaper. The price was amazingly expensive so I instead listed it, complete with pictures, on Craig’s List. Ahhhh, I can see that some of you are already clicking your tongue and saying, “Silly woman, what was she thinking?” I’ll tell you exactly what I was thinking. I was thinking that Craig’s List costs exactly $0.00 for a 30 listing and that was exactly what I was willing to spend.
 
I read all the instructions and warnings, but I was only offering a rental. How could that bring any unsavory characters into my life?
 
 
 
First my email box was immediately filled with offers to list my property here, there and everywhere else. Spam flew my way like bees to honey. I had a few inquiries that seemed legitimate and I diligently answered each question, offering to make that 10.9 mile drive to show my condominium to anyone interested.
 
Then came the email that seemed almost frantic in the writer’s need to find a residence. It seems that this young man (or old, oily, deviant for all I know) was working in a foreign country.   He was employed with a major corporation of some sort and even provided me with an impressive-sounding name of the business. He stated that he was thrilled to find my ad because he was being transferred to my area within the next few days and would need a home immediately. He went on to tell a little about himself, that he was a non-smoking executive and very able to pay the amount of rent I was asking.
 
BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE! This major corporation that employed him would be paying his moving expenses, the security deposit and his first month’s rent. (Now, isn’t that just wonderful?) HOWEVER, the company would be issuing him ONE check for the total amount of the cost of his move. Being the nice guy that he was and wanting to put me at ease that he was trustworthy; he was willing to send me the entire check. I could keep the security amount and first month’s rent and wire the remaining back to him. And please, Mam, keep enough to cover any wire transfer fees. 
 
My mamma would have been proud of her eldest daughter because I immediately saw through this ruse. Anger consumed me and steam started to creep from my ears. How dare he?!? I’m just an ordinary old lady, trying to get through each day. How dare he try to cheat me?!? The longer I stared at his slimy email the madder I became. I finally hit the Reply Key and sent my response to him: GET A REAL JOB, SCAMMER AMD STOP TRYING TO CHEAT YOUR WAY THROUGH LIFE.
 
Note: A few days later, after I’d calmed down a bit; I thought it would probably be wise to alert the local authorities of what had happened. The response from law enforcement, “I believe that Craig’s List warns against scammers.” I’m not quite sure what I expected but that callous response wasn’t quite it.
 
Moral of the story: Sadly, we have to be on constant alert. Complete trust needs to be earned and should be reserved for only our very best of friends.


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