Julie Donner Andersen

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Author of the award winning book, "PAST: Perfect! PRESENT: Tense! Insights From One Woman's Journey As The Wife Of A Widower" and the illustrated humor book, "Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge of Midlife" (a finalist in ForeWord Magazine's "Book of the Year 2004" awards). Both books are available for purchase at Amazon.com, BarnesAndNoble.com, and through the publisher!

 Julie Donner Andersen
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Member Since: Mar, 2002
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Welcome to your WOW (Wife Of a Widower) and GOW (Girlfriend Of a Widower) home on the web...and your #1 source of midlife humor!!

Whether you are dating a widower or are married to one, your life has changed dramatically. Not surprisingly, the life of a WOW or GOW is unlike any other.

Being the wife of a widower is not easy, and since there was nothing on the bookstore shelves to help me when I was about to marry a widower, I decided to write a "survivor's guide" for present and future WOWs, based on my own real life experiences. My book, "PAST: Perfect! PRESENT: Tense!  Insights From One Woman's Journey As The Wife of a Widower" is a ForeWord Magazine "Book Of The Year 2003" finalist, and is available through all online book retailers and publisher iUniverse.com.

Then I entered midlife, had a baby, and decided to again write from experience - this time with humor. My illustrated humor book about midlife and parenting - entitled "PARENTALLY INSANE:  Insights From The Edge...of Midlife!" - was released in 2004 by Publish America and is available for purchase via the publishers' website, Amazon.com, and BarnesAndNoble.com (see links below).  This book was chosen as a finalist in the humour category for ForeWord Magazine's "Book Of The Year 2004" awards. 

And that's why I write - to inspire, support, connect, and...laugh!

My website is going through some big changes, which is why I have temporarily suspended the monthly newsletter.  Please hang in there with me...it will be back very soon on the new site!



Accomplishments:

Finalist (genre: humour); ForeWord Magazine's "Book of the Year Awards 2004" for "Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge...of Midlife!"


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Finalist (genre: self help); ForeWord Magazine's "Book Of The Year Awards 2003" for "PAST: Perfect! PRESENT: Tense!".


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Winner of "Humor And Life, In Particular" website's "Best Short Humor" contest for Spring 2003. See winning submission at:
http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Gallery/4111/dandersen.html


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Julie's freelance articles can be seen in over 200 websites internationally! Just do a search for "Julie Donner Andersen" in Google.com for more!


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Julie's articles can also be seen in such print publications as Family Digest magazine, Metro Seven magazine (Australia), and Golden Living Magazine.


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Books

Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge of Midlife by Julie Donner Andersen
Recently nominated as a finalist in ForeWord Magazine's distinguished "Book of the Year 2004 Awards"!! ************************************* "Wear your girdle over your straight jacket with pride". Laugh along with tired, middle aged mom Julie Donner Andersen as she highlights the perks and problems faced by women over 40 whose kids are forcing her into the Funny Farm....
  

Amazon.com  Amazon.co.uk  Barnes & Noble.com   

Past: Perfect! Present: Tense! Insights From One Woman's Journey As The Wife Of A Widower by Julie Donner Andersen
A survivor's guide for wives of widowers, written by the ultimate insider!**...
  

Amazon.com  Amazon.co.uk  Barnes & Noble.com   



Short Stories

The Promise
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Excerpted from the upcoming novel, "I''ll Always Be With You: Memoirs of a Mother''s Love" by Julie Donner Andersen. ~Julie is also the author of the self-help guide, "PAST: Perfect! PRESENT...


A Dream That You Wish
 by Julie Donner Andersen
The big things in life are the little things. ...


Happy Birthday, My Son
 by Julie Donner Andersen
An open letter to my son, who turns 15 this April. ...


Portrait of a Triangle
 by Julie Donner Andersen
From the author of the new blockbuster "PAST: Perfect! PRESENT: Tense! Insights From One Woman''s Journey As The Wife of a Widower" (iUniverse, Inc.)...


Midlife Mom's Beauty Tips
 by Julie Donner Andersen
*...


Aren't You Ready YET?!
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Wives always get the blame when couples are late for functions. But in reality, it''s the HUSBANDS who hog the bathroom...and all the hot water!...


You Think You Had A Hard Day?
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Excerpted from the book "Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge..of Midlife!" by Julie Donner Andersen....


Speaking With The Heart
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Sometimes, you just have to read between the lines. ...


The Ones Who Need You The Most
 by Julie Donner Andersen
The power of a mother''s prayer is a mighty thing! * * *...


Mental Male Parentals
 by Julie Donner Andersen
What kind of dad are you?...


Just The Way You Are?!?!
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Midlife Wife loves her Midlife Man just the way he is, but his weird idioscrasies are enough to drive her to the Funny Farm, says Julie Donner Andersen, author of "Parentally Insane: Insights From Th...


Happy Birthday, Sweet 16!
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Written as an open letter to my oldest daughter on her birthday....


Pass The Coffee And No One Gets Hurt
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Welcome to my morning. ...


Rudolph And The Shrink
 by Julie Donner Andersen
The REAL story behind the song is finally revealed! ...


Beauty Shop Bitties
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Every woman knows where to get the best gossip. Now it's time to reveal the secret - to the men....


When Are You Due?
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Has middle aged bloat turned you into a middle aged parade float? Then commiserate with Julie Donner Andersen, author of the upcoming illustrated humor book, "Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edg...


The Ego Has Landed
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Flirty? Sensitive? Nahhh, it's just Midlife Man's new contacts, says Julie Donner Andersen, author of "Parentally Insane: Insights from The Edge...of Midlife!"...


America - I Miss You!
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Patriotism is a part of your soul...and can never be replaced. ...


Of Fruit And Friendship
 by Julie Donner Andersen
...


Jesus Is My Blankie
 by Julie Donner Andersen
What a friend we have in Jesus! ...


The Counsellor
 by Julie Donner Andersen
"I will never leave you nor forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5)...



Poetry

Just Love Her
 by Julie Donner Andersen
*For my Chelsea...


The Mansions Of Heaven
 by Julie Donner Andersen
*John 14:2...."In my Father''s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you." ...


Seeking Perfect Peace
 by Julie Donner Andersen


Artist of My Soul
 by Julie Donner Andersen


The God In Me
 by Julie Donner Andersen
On Christ, the solid rock, I stand. All other ground Is sinking sand. ***********************...


Almighty God, Because Of Who You Are...
 by Julie Donner Andersen
*...


The Great Pretender
 by Julie Donner Andersen


Sticks And Stones
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Words DO hurt, and the pain from this kind of child abuse can last a lifetime....


It's So Strange Now
 by Julie Donner Andersen


Marital Rhapsody
 by Julie Donner Andersen


HAPPY NEW YEAR!
 by Julie Donner Andersen


Whose Life Is It Anyway, Ladies?
 by Julie Donner Andersen


A Family Is...
 by Julie Donner Andersen
*...


A Prayer For My Husband
 by Julie Donner Andersen


A Mother's Moment
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Julie Donner Andersen with Chelsea Sue Andersen, the love of her life...


Did You Feel The Way I Felt Today?
 by Julie Donner Andersen


Twas a Politically Correct Christmas
 by Julie Donner Andersen
I don''t know who wrote this - it wasn''t me; I received it in an e-mail today - but I thought is was fabulous...and sadly, so true. ...


Dear Mr. President
 by Julie Donner Andersen


The Angels of Christmas
 by Julie Donner Andersen
They''re all around us. :) A N G E L S ...


Journeys
 by Julie Donner Andersen
*For Lindsay...


Joseph Was A Stepdad
 by Julie Donner Andersen


A Child's Christmas Prayer
 by Julie Donner Andersen
In this poem, a child talks to God - and He responds - on the birthday of His Son, Jesus. By Julie Donner Andersen, author of "Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge...Of Midlife!"...


Home For The Holidays
 by Julie Donner Andersen


Then By Now
 by Julie Donner Andersen


Every Now And Then
 by Julie Donner Andersen
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Articles

Why Are We Afraid To Ask “The Tough Questions”?
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Some wives of widowers battle things unseen...and unspoken. But if the answers to the tough questions are only a spouse away, what are we so afraid of? By Julie Donner Andersen, author of "P...


Are You A Grief Enabler?
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Wives and girlfriends of widowers are queens of patience, tolerance, sympathy, and compassion, but are our acts of kindness only serving to enable our mate’s grief even further?...


The "Fits And Starts" of Dating a Widower
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Does your previously widowed boyfriend sometimes emotionally withdraw from your relationship? Read what Julie Donner Andersen, author of "PAST: Perfect! PRESENT: Tense! Insights From One Woman''s Jo...


Crabby People
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Sick and tired of negative people? Join author Julie Donner Andersen ("PAST: Perfect! PRESENT: Tense! Insights From One Woman''s Journey as the Wife of a Widower" and "Parentally Insane: Insights F...


Patty Perfect
 by Julie Donner Andersen
The Stepford Wives have got NOTHING on these women, according to Julie Donner Andersen, award-winning author of "Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge...of Midlife!"...


Lance Romance's Valentine's Day Guide for Men
 by Julie Donner Andersen
*From the upcoming humour book, "Lance Romance in His Underpants: A Woman's Guide to 'Guy Things'", by Julie Donner Andersen....


Rebuttal to John Cleese Letter To America
 by Julie Donner Andersen
American author and humorist Julie Donner Andersen fires back at the famous comedian''s satirical essay flaming America. *...


Look, But Don't Touch
 by Julie Donner Andersen
*...


Why Is He Scratching There? AKA: Take Me Out To The Ball Game
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Award winning humor author Julie Donner Andersen explains "repositioning" from a female perspective....


Keep It Down, Already!!
 by Julie Donner Andersen
My quest for world peace starts with my minivan....


Moving On" and "Letting Go": Are They The Same?
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Award winning author and grief specialist Julie Donner Andersen discusses the vital differences....


Sex And The Busy Mom
 by Julie Donner Andersen
10 Tips to Help You "Get Busy"!...


The Last Acceptable Prejudice
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Justice for ALL? Not for a small but ever increasing population of Americans....


Veggie Genders
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Ever wonder if vegetables had genders? Julie Donner Andersen, author of the upcoming humor book "Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge...of Midlife!" has the answers!!...


An Ohio Yankee In The Great White North
 by Julie Donner Andersen
From the author of the hilarious book, "Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge of Midlife"...


A Name by Any Other Rosie
 by Julie Donner Andersen
What''s in a name? Plenty, says humour writer Julie Donner Andersen, author of "Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge...of Midlife!"...


Girls Are Aliens Without Wahoos
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Excerpted from the award winning humour book, "Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge...of Midlife!" by Julie Donner Andersen....


Spam: It's A Guy Thing
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Whether it''s grey meat or unwanted e-mail, it exists because it''s making some people verrrrry happy....


I Am A Christian - DEAL With it!
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Intolerance of faith (one in particular) is spreading like wildfire...and we Christians are the new target. ...


Enough Already!
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Will the widower in your life ever stop memorializing his late wife?...


Second Time's the Charm
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Sometimes, letting a child quit is music to her ears. ...


Whatever Happened to Dating?
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Maybe the idea is as antiquated as whalebone corsets, but whatever happened to dating?...


Taking The "I Love You" Leap of Faith
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Pay attention, ladies…The “rules” of falling in love with a widower who is new to the dating world are a bit different than any others you have ever known before! ...


The 10 Commandments for Ebay Buyers And Sellers
 by Julie Donner Andersen
*...


They're Gonna Do It Anyway!
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Oh really? Not so, says author Julie Donner Andersen....



News

Newest humor story by Julie Donner Andersen published by Canadian Content.com!
 by Julie Donner Andersen
To view story in its entirety, go to http://www.canadiancontent.ca/articles/120103ohioyankee.html...


New Website For Remarriage Features Julie Donner Andersen
 by Julie Donner Andersen
"A 10 Step Guide To Marrying A Widower", by Julie Donner Andersen, featured on new website for second marriages called "GettingRemarried.com"....


Parentally Insane" Chosen as Finalist for ForeWord Magazine Award
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Julie Donner Andersen's humour book about midlife, parenting, and marriage takes its first step toward a major literary award....


Julie Donner Andersen Book Chosen As Finalist in Foreword Magazine's 2003 Book Of The Year Awards
 by Julie Donner Andersen
For verification of fact, please go to the following link: http://www.forewordmagazine.net...


Julie Donner Andersen Featured at Christian Mirror Publications website
 by Julie Donner Andersen
The webzine for Christian women recently featured Julie''s article, "What My Widowed Husband Has Taught Me"....


Writer's Vision website hires Julie Donner Andersen as their new humor columnist
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Click on this link to see the first column installment: http://www.geocities.com/rosebud0310/HUMORCOLUMN.html...


Julie Donner Andersen wins "Best Short Humor" contest
 by Julie Donner Andersen
To view the winning submission, go to http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Gallery/4111/dandersen.html...


Links

Amazon
Both of Julie's books can be purchased here! Just search author's name or book titles.


Publish America, LLTD.
Click this link to order Julie's illustrated humour book "Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge...of Midlife!" from the publisher, Publish America, LLTD.

iUniverse, Inc.
Julie's publisher (for her book "PAST: Perfect! PRESENT: Tense!"), where you can order her book for wives and girlfriends of widowers!

Barnes And Noble
Purchase both of Julie's books at the online site of the world's largest bookstore!


Additional information

Known in writing circles as Canada's premier humor writer, Julie is widely considered "the new Erma Bombeck" (see reviews below for "Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge Of Midlife - a ForeWord Magazine "Book of the Year 2004 Award" finalist! )!



“From the first page to the last, “Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge Of Midlife” is a winner! Readers of Andersen’s first book, "Past: Perfect! Present: Tense! Insights from One Woman’s Journey as the Wife of a Widower" (iUniverse, Inc.), know that her keen eye for detail and refusal to let controversy stand in her way make her one of the few new writers of note who actual have something original and unique to say.
Equal parts Erma Bombeck and Gloria Steinem, Andersen has collected here an anthology of essays, musings, and anecdotes that read more like a gathering of old friends than the printed word. You’ll hear yourself in every line…that is, in between phone calls to your fellow members of the Midlife Moms Club to read entire passages - if not chapters - aloud!”
~ Rusty Fischer, contributing author/writer; Chicken Soup for the Romantic Soul (Health Communications 2003) and God Allows U-turns: A Woman’s Journey (Promise Press 2002).

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“You can reach into Julie Donner Andersen’s "Parentally Insane: Insights from the Edge of Midlife", pull out a sentence at random, and chances are it will be a one-liner to do a stand-up comedian proud. Andersen’s magic comes from her ability to string these pearls of wit and wisdom into cohesive paragraphs, knit the paragraphs seamlessly into chapters, and come up with a book that sparkles from beginning to end with honesty, insight, and a celebration of that mystical, magical kingdom called Midlife Motherhood.
Whether she is describing the messy bedrooms of her children or the competitive nature of spouses comparing their respective “bad days”, Andersen stands in the company of women like Erma Bombeck, Phyllis Diller, and Roseanne—women who, rather than sacrifice individuality in the search for a cookie-cutter perfect, “Martha Stewart-ish” existence, proudly turn the spotlight on the imperfections of their real lives to reveal the true beauty within.
"Parentally Insane" serves as a guide for those women who are entering mid-life motherhood; a joyful walk down memory lane for those who are exiting the other side; and both a warning and an enticement for those who are weighing the pros and cons of such a life choice. For everyone else, it is a delightful, entertaining read!”
~ Betty Davenport Tesh, author of Future Perfect (1st Books Library, Inc.)

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“Life is too short to take subjects like husbands, kids, teenagers, and menopause so seriously ALL of the time. So if you're disposed to stopping and smelling the roses, let author Julie Donner Andersen along on your adventure. At midlife, past it, or think it'll never happen, "Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge of Midlife" has something to make you laugh, cry, or stand and cheer. After all, who can't use a little more insight, or at the very least a little more laughter, to make your stay on this mudball worth the while?”
~ Bob Drews, author of the fiction novels Sandman and Derby Day (iUniverse Inc.)

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“In all my 40-something years I have never read anything that made me actually giggle out loud as often as I did while reading "Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge of Midlife"! It is a masterpiece of daring truths and family hilarity. Once I started reading, I just couldn't stop! I read the whole thing with ridiculous tears of laughter streaming down my cheeks-or maybe they were tears of relief that my family wasn't the ONLY weird one in the world! What an absolutely delightful book! This should be a mandatory gift on Mother's Day!”
~Kristi Sayles, author of The Day I Woke Up As An Ostrich - An Odd Collection for Christians (SynergEbooks, 2001) and creator of "Instant Query Letter" software http://www.instantqueryletter.com.

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Calling “PARENTALLY INSANE” funny is like calling the Atlantic Ocean a puddle, the Grand Canyon a hole in the ground, and Mount Everest a hill.
From her opening salvo to her last sentence, Julie Donner Andersen holds the reader hostage in a prison constructed of gut busting, laugh out loud, slice of life humor reminiscent of Mark Twain, Will Rogers and Charlie Chaplin.
Andersen gives us a rib-tickling glimpse into the life of a mother approaching middle age who is trying to deal with the frantic life surrounding not only teenagers but toddlers as well. To do that well is a monumental task, but Andersen also throws in the wider circle of family life as each of its members interacts with the others. Entries such as “I Am Queen of My Castle (And My Subjects Are Royal Pains)” and “PMS, GYNs, And All That Crotch Rot” fill the book with promises of enjoyment by the reader, and Andersen does not disappoint the reader with broken promises.
All in all, this is an enjoyable romp through family life with all the veneer stripped off. Andersen shows us the family as it really is: dysfunctional, yet loving.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book from cover to cover. It took me a little longer than I expected to finish it because of the numerous times I stopped to laugh out loud or wipe away tears of laughter before continuing.
In my opinion, "PARENTALLY INSANE: Insights From The Edge...of Midlife!" is more than worth the price. It shows great wit, insightfulness, and family love. This book would make the idea present for almost everyone.
~Barbara Ann (Bobbie) Duffy, author of “Songs of Survival: Life is a Journey” (Bad Dragon Press)

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Special thanks to Derek & Joy Steele, the world's best illustrators! (Visit the Steele's website at www.steelestudios.com!)

 
Contact Information

Julie Donner Andersen
      Canada
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