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Home > Author > Todd-Michael St. Pierre
Todd-Michael St. Pierre

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Member Since: Before 2003

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  Todd-Michael St. Pierre

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Hot off the press... "Who Taught Time to Fly"... See

Background Information


My first book "Somewhere as Told by Garrett the Parrot" came out on June 23, 1990...  but I started writing and getting published in 1986)  ...and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm prolific, I write every day, crack of dawn being my muse's favorite time, not mine! I have books, articles, kid's poems and stories published under 5 different pen names.  

     I am a Shel Silverstein fanatic and have been since I was a small child, in fact, my book "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" is dedicated to the late-great master of children's verse. I am also a big, BIG fan of the amazing Jack Prelutsky! 

My favorite quote is by Dr. Seuss... "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind!" My favorite children's book of all time is "Alexander and the Wind-up Mouse" By Leo Lionni.

---Todd-Michael St. Pierre is the author of popular children's titles like 1~A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street 2~Louisiana State Bird Pageant  3~Texas State Bird Pageant 4~Makin' Groceries: A New Orleans Tribute & 5~Nola and Roux: The Creole Mouse and the Cajun Mouse.

He is also the author of the International Bestselling New Orleans Cookbook "Jambalaya, Crawfish Pie, File Gumbo"  which has been featured in Cooking Light, Southern Living, The San Francisco Chronicle, The Denver Post & AOL Food.

His new cookbook is "A Streetcar Named Delicious: Festive! Famous! Fabulous! New Orleans Cuisine!"

And coming soon, another new cookbook... "The French Quarter Cookbook: A Confederacy of Scrumptious!"

He writes for a major greeting card company, he is an ASCAP registered songwriter. Todd-Michael was born in New Orleans, Louisiana on Earthday and currently divides his time between Louisiana and the gorgeous hills of northwest Travis County, Texas (near Austin).

 Read some crazy, funny, silly and disgusting poems by the author here...  

1-Dinner @ Grandma's

Dinner at my Grandma's can drive a kid to fits,
The last time she fed me pig poo and olive pits!
This time was even worse; she cooked a big brown snake!
The food was a nightmare, though I was wide awake!
Caterpillar cornbread, a sliver of liver,
Bumble bees mixed with peas! How can I forgive her?
She force-fed me spiders, a hedgehog and a half,
"Eat those sweet lizard feet," she told me with a laugh.
My eyes ran out of tears, from all this child abuse,
She even made me drink a glass of onion juice!
Poison ivy salad that made my insides itch,
I'm starting to believe that grandma is a witch!
I begged and I begged, but of all the twisted things,
For dessert she brought out some buttered beetle wings.
Dinner at my Grandma's can drive a kid to fits...

It's better when she feeds me Goat Guts and Garlic Grits!

  2-My Poopasaurus

Have you seen my Poopasaurus?
Oh she poops in great big piles.
She’s a prehistoric creature,
And her poop goes on for miles!

Can you help me to locate her?
Though your nose won’t like it much,
If you see her please remember,
You can look but do not touch!

Do not touch my Poopasaurus,
Or she may just poop on you.
She escaped me just this morning,
When I took her out to poo.

Have you seen my Poopasaurus?
She’s the only pet I’ve got.
She’s cute and kind, but keep in mind…

She poops an awful lot!

3-Lily Licked the Toilet

Lily licked the toilet,
And then she licked the floor.
You can bet I’ll never
Kiss Lily anymore!
Lily licked the toilet,
And then she licked the sink.
She’s full of germs and worms,
At least that’s what I think.
Lily licked the toilet,
And then she licked the tub.
It’s safe to say her tongue
Could use a real good scrub!
She was the cutest pooch!
Why’d she have to spoil it?
Nothing’s been the same since…


 Lily licked the toilet.

4- Snack Time

Chancie chose the Chocolate Chew,

Penelope picked a pickle.
Samantha simply smiled and slurped
Her slimy, green Snotsicle!



5- About Beets
~A Very True Story~

I’d rather eat snails with some raw lizard tails!
I’d rather eat soap scum and witch’s toenails!
I’d rather eat fungus, black and humungous,
In fact I’m sure I would rather eat fungus!
I’d rather eat bugs and the shells of three crabs,
Sticky alien brains all covered in scabs!
I’d rather eat rocks in a giant brown box!
I’d rather eat chickens that have chicken pox!
I’d rather eat cacti that make me scream "OUCH!"
I’d rather eat hair-balls from under the couch!
I’d rather eat bread that has turned grossly green,
Or the biggest earth worm that you’ve ever seen!
I’d rather eat ear wax and slimy eel skin,
I wish that the church would say "BEETS are a SIN!"
I’d rather eat garbage, a cockroach or TEN…

Than to EVER-EVER eat BEETS Again!


6-Did You Show up Just to Throw up?

Did you show up just to throw up?
Did you plan it all this way?
Did you show up just to throw up?
Just to ruin my tenth birthday?
Cuz you gobbled up my ice cream
And three-quarters of my cake!
You destroyed my lovely party,
OH, it's more than I can take!
You ate every yellow candle,
As I stood there screaming, "GROW UP!"
God, it's more than I can handle...
Did you show up just to throw up?

Little kid, I think you did!

This poem is to Hayden J. Reeves, who really did ruin my tenth birthday! Yes, Hayden, I am still mad at you!


7- The Maggots in my Meatloaf

The maggots in my meatloaf,
Often cause me too much strife.
They take advantage of me,
And they need to get a life!
The fattest one he asked me...
"May I have a piece of ham?
Will you make some fish and chips?
Or a little leg of lamb?"
The skinny one she asked me...
"Could you spare a yummy yam?
Do you have extra ketchup?
Are you out of red plum jam?"
The maggots in my meatloaf,
They sure have a lot of nerve!
I don't mind if they eat here...

But my kitchen is SELF-SERVE!!!


A Few Inspirational Children's poems-
See... they aren't all gross... I had to include these for socially redeeming value... in other words to get the grown-ups off my case!  :-)~

 1-Check it Out

Look, look when you see a book,
Twenty-six letters are all that it took!
City by city the shelves are packed
With libraries full of fiction and fact.
All those chapters, all those pages,
Book by book, down through the ages.
Twenty-six letters are all that we need,
To make all the English we speak and read.
Write me a poem, on your mark get set...
Twenty-six letters in the alphabet!

2- Young Poets

You speak for the lakes, the trees and the birds
You say what they'd say if they had the words.
Make PEACE and be proud, choose well every choice
Speak HOPE and speak loud, you are Nature's voice.
Speak with respect now, for jungles and streams,
Speak for all wildlife and dream giant dreams.
Speak with great courage, speak up and speak out,
Write with a whisper or write with a SHOUT!
Stand up young poets for clean air and rivers,
Free verse or lyric; your message delivers...
Truth to the future citizens of earth,
Speak of your freedom your friends and self worth.
Speak for tomorrow and though you're still young,
Speak for the Forest, your pen is her tongue.
The world waits to hear your songs still unsung
Words posses power, you can write the wrongs
Teach us and lead us with Poems and with songs.
Speak now for nature, for trees and for birds,
Defenders of Earth choose carefullly your words!

3- What's in a Name?
(An Actual-Factual Poem)

The Komodo dragon’s a lizard,
A sea-horse is a fish, not a horse.
Bald eagles aren’t really bald and…
A titmouse is a bird of course!
The prairie dog’s really a rodent.
The koala’s no bear, silly you!
He’s simply a marsupial,
With a pouch like a kangaroo!
American buffalo are bison,
Oh, I thought you might like to know.
So don’t be fooled by a name, child,
A name can confuse things so.

4- A Piece of Sky

No one can own a color; no one can own a cloud.
No one on Earth could ever, I'm glad it's not allowed!
No person owns a person, though some may think they do.
No person owns the ocean; I know this to be true !
I cannot own a sparrow, I cannot own a tree.
Even in my own backyard they don't belong to me!
No one can own the starlight; no one can own the sun.
No person owns a river, it simply can't be done!
No one can own a desert, the planets or their moons.
We’re all just One Race: Human, same words with many tunes!
No one may claim ownership to TEAR or SMILE or SIGH!
Or take away your DREAMS so...

let's share a piece of sky!

 Leif and Dirk

Near the weathered sandbox, beyond the Big Kid's Swing,
 A secret place, where we watched, Pegasus take wing!
'Til this day, the grownups say, "It was all pretend!"
Still we knew, it was as true , as the rushing wind.
You cannot see the wind... yet paper-planes still glide...
Across the yellow field, above the silver slide.
Near the broken seesaw, behind the monkey bars,
A garden waits, with blossoms, made of dreams and stars!
Past such purple daisies and blue forget-me-nots,
We created playgrounds out of gray, empty lots.
With dinosaurs we danced, new hideouts to explore...
We pardoned all the dragons... friendly at their core!
Barefoot days and unicorns, ended all too soon,
For we three explorers beneath a Children's Moon.
With my friends beside me, no trail was too scary,
Even now, grownups think "'Twas imaginary!"
Oh what great adventures, what time consuming work,
What well-crafted business for me and Leif and Dirk...
Dirk was made of dirt and yes, Leif was made of leaves,
Once upon a Summer at my Aunt Genevieve's!

Birth Place
New Orleans, LA USA

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