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Let me help you smile!


I've never been what one might consider to be a writer. I'll pen the occasional spoof or rant in the local newspaper's opinion section. Their policy is to eventually print anything submitted assuming it is not offensive.  I have an offbeat sense of humor, often bordering a little on the dark side so I guess offensive is a relative thing. I'm not particularly well read, other than the coursework required for my geology degree 35 years ago and the occasional science fiction book.

I retired in January 2014 after 40 years in the construction industry. Glad I did while I've still got a little tread on my tires.

I lived in Alaska during the mid seventies where I started my career in construction as a geotechnical engineer on the pipeline. It was my first real job and to this date the best job I ever had. I've always loved the wilderness and during my stay I was able to travel deep into the back country where few tourists go. The views and the wildlife were just unbelievable.

We moved from Southern California in February to the woods of Southwest Missouri's Mark Twain National Forest on Table Rock Lake. Culture shock in an excellent sort of way.

I  amuse myself writing sarcasm and silliness, occasionally some real poetry. I get my motivation from my memories of Mad Magazine, National Lampoon, The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers (I'll be amazed if anybody knows who they were), and other low key forms of humor. I'm a huge fan of Andy Rooney and his dry wit. I've mulled a couple of ideas for a book or two but never put any serious effort into it.  I'm still a die hard Detroit Tiger and Lions fan. Most years it is painful. Direct TV just makes it a little easier to self inflict.

I spend a lot of time in the kitchen as I enjoy cooking a significant variety of culinary treats, some of which actually turn out to be edible.

I'm not particularly religious. Belonged to a Lutheran congregation through high school but never went back. But I respect anyone's beliefs and religions so long as they are not harmful to others.

It's the love of my life Eileen who motivated me to join the site, if nothing else just to have a place to keep my "stuff" She's been posting for quite some time now and I'm always impressed with her work even though it often hits very, very close to home. She's unique, and so am I.  An odd pair.

Birth Place: Lansing, MI USA

Accomplishments: Employee of the month, October 1981, Wismer & Becker Corporation

Short Stories

Strawberry Green Springs
 by Patrick A Granfors
Sage sent me a funny commentary last week. This is what came out of it. No idea what to do with it, sort of dorky, but OK how many wines and liquors can you find? Chapter one....maybe...

 by Patrick A Granfors
Possibilities and lessons Photo:Dailymail.co.uk...

Drip Line
 by Patrick A Granfors
The results of Friday's noctunal slide show...


Queen of Broken Hearts
 by Patrick A Granfors
Country Lyrics for mending a Broken Heart....

Somebody Blinked
 by Patrick A Granfors
Relief at last cheap gas in Missouri Photo:Patrick Granfors...

Drink About It
 by Patrick A Granfors
With the price of oil, war of the spoils Here’s your bucket for the big bailout Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan We gotta, a lot to drink about Jimmy Buffett ...

 by Patrick A Granfors

 by Patrick A Granfors
We've all been there...

Standard Issue
 by Patrick A Granfors
Pure fiction that evolved while listening to a Jimmy Buffett tune in my pickup on my way into town for an errand. Photo: By Patrick Granfors...

Wisdom of the Wind
 by Patrick A Granfors
Memorial Day thoughts...


Best Onion Soup Ever
 by Patrick A Granfors
Great Soup, use an electric skillet at 375 degrees...

Fabulous Eight Bean Soup
 by Patrick A Granfors
From my kitchen…..It’s wintertime which to me is soup season. Here’s a crock pot “recipe” for some tasty and hearty eight - bean soup that I make frequently when whole hams go on sale which I then re-...

 by Patrick A Granfors
The consequences of a long afternoon....

Mighty Fine Stuffed Cabbage Rolls
 by Patrick A Granfors
OK. Here’s a departure from my norm that deserves special attention. I don’t normally share my cooking failures, but I’m willingly share my successes. Stuffed cabbage rolls are a definite winter time...

Phobos-Grunt Re-entry
 by Patrick A Granfors
It could happen as early as this coming Sunday....

My Second Ozark Boat Ride
 by Patrick A Granfors
Vacation thoughts about a mighty fine Ozark day. Photo: By Patrick Granfors, Cottonmouth on the lake...

Marinating on my TV
 by Patrick A Granfors
I give up...

Contact Information

 Patrick A Granfors
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Member Since: May, 2009

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