A deep sense of invisibility plagued me as a child. Feeling unworthy, life often times felt like punishment. Disconnected from my mother, I felt lost, in her way, and as if perhaps the ones I loved would be better off without me.
When I was twelve years old I put a gun to my head. Death seemed a sweeter option than the bullied life I was living.
A single thought helped me hand on.
As an adult, I married and falsely believed that because I was a wife, and a mother I was worthy. Details upon details distracted me from the wounds of the past, only until my body began to fail.
"You better listen to your body Lisa, because your body is listening to you," one of my many doctors barked at me, one afternoon as he infused steroids into my swollen body, to help ease my breathing.
I entered therapy to please my husband. He refused to believe that our marriage needed fixing, and instead suggested that I was the one who was crazy--so only I should have to go.
When my therapist told me I wasn't crazy, but that I was codependent, I didn't know if I wanted to laugh or if I wanted to cry.
"You and your husband do not share a brain," my therapist said. It is a comment that changed my life forever.
The Road Back To Me is my story. It is a codependent story, and one that people from anywhere can relate to.
The wounds of the past set the foundation for the codependent life I lived. The desire to show my children another way, lit the path on the road back to me.
May you be inspired to heal, own your thoughts, create better thinking thoughts, and eventually create a life that is a manifestation of the divine being you truly are.