I'M A RETIRED POLICEMAN. RETIRED WELFARE FRAUD INVESTIGATOR AND CASE WORKER. I'M A FORMER STANDUP COMIC BUT ACTUALLY SITDOWN COMEDIAN BECAUSE I USUALLY DID MY COMEDY ON THE RADIO. THESE JOBS COME IN HANDY WITH MY NEW TITLE OF UFOLOGIST. THIS IS THE ONE JOB THAT PRESENTED A CHALLENGE. TO ME ALL THE EVIDENSE POINTS TO EXTRATERRESTRIAL VISITATION NOW AND IN OUT DISTANT PAST. ANY TIME YOU WATCH THE NEWS AND THEY HAVE A UFO RELATED STORY THE HOSTS START LAUGHING SO I DECIDED TO GIVE THEM SOMETHING TO LAUGH AT SO I WROTE-THE GREAT PYRAMID HISTORY WITHOUT A PAST. IF WE HAVE HAD EXTRATERRESTRIAL VISITATION WHEN DID THEY FIRST COME? WAS IT AT ROSWELL, NEW MEXICO IN 1947? WAS IT AT ARORA, TEXAS IN 1897? OR WAS IT 2,000 YEARS AGO IN A LITTLE TOWN OF BETHLEHEM? OR WAS WAS IT 5,000 YEARS AGO ON MT. SINAI? IF IT WERE ONE OF THE LAST TWO THERE COULD BE TROUBLE ON SUNDAYS. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY PASS THE COLLECTION PLATES. I KNOW THAT THIS INFORMATION WILL DE DIFFICULT TO DIGEST SO THE HUMOR WILL MAKE IT GO DOWN EASIER.
I WAS WATCHING ONE OF THOSE UFO DOCUMENTARY ON TELEVISION AND THIS DEBUNKER SAID THAT UFOLOGY WAS JUST MODERN DAY STORIES ABOUT FAIRIES AND ANGELS. MY ANSWER TO HIM WAS "DUH?" I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY DEBUNKERS AND EVEN PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE IN EXTRATERRESTRIALS CAN'T MAKE THE CONNECTION BETWEEN FAIRIES KIDNAPPING PEOPLE AND ALIEN ABDUCTIONS. AND I FAIL TO SEE THE DIFFERENCE IN ANGELS APPEARING AFTER PEOPLE SEE A BRIGHT LIGHT IN THE SKY OR SEEING AN ALIEN STANDING BY THEIR BEDS AFTER SEEING A BRIGHT LIGHT OUTSIDE OF THEIR WINDOWS. I'M SAYING THAT UFOS ARE THE STORIES OF THE OLD MYTHS THAT WE'VE READ SO MUCH ABOUT. THE ALIENS DIDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT BEING DISCOVERED IN THE OLD DAYS BECAUSE IF THE PEOPLE RAN THEIR MOUTHS THEY WERE USUALLY BURNED AT THE STAKE. I KNOW YOU ARE PROBABLY SAYING TO YOURSEVES THAT "I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT LIKE THAT." WELL I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU A LOT OF THINGS TO THINK OVER BEFORE YOU FINISH THIS BOOK.
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