I'm here passing through experiencing life on this crazy beautiful planet called earth. Typical to a scorpio, who are in spite of their deeper serious and mystical nature, can be rattled and dazzled sometimes by bright lights and fireworks, when asked by my spiritual guides where do you want to go, and I was given the options of the planets floating around in space, I saw planet earth with all the fun stuff going on! Of course I said, that's where! So here I am having a roller coaster of experiences! I don't exactly remember asking to be born in Baghdad of all places, where women were not exactly enjoying total freedom of anything! Hollywood would have been more my thing. But I was blessed that my young parents of Middle Eastern backgrounds were liberal, upto an extent! So it was not that bad after all! I figured there must have been a very good reason!
I grew up multi-everything! Multi-national,-cultural, -lingual, -faceted, -religious, with -food and -music preferences. In fact multi-mumbo jumbo of so much ocntradiction that I had to learn to de-confuse myself at a very early age or else I might have ended up in the loony bin or opted for early exit because I was super duper sensitive and psychic to boot! To my question, what on earth am I supposed to do here? I had no answer for a long long time. So I just sat on the roller coaster of my life to live and experience and it took me for a long bumpy and picturesque ride. I was not in control and always out of breath.
After half a century of the above, two divorces, three daughters, entrepreneurial business experiences, traveling the world, health problems, family dramas, and so forth I was told by another psychic that I was living two lives in one. One was over and now I was starting my second life in one! Great! Soon it was over with high fashion clothes, ultra-painful high heeled shoes and dancing my way through life to loud ear splitting disco music. I settled down to a life and work that was much more true to my inner nature.
In a workshop in San Francisco, we were going through one exercise. We paired off in couples and with closed eyes, each had to hold hands with the other, and then feel. Later we each had to share our feelings of that moment with the group. The young woman like me in her late thirties, who was holding my hands said: i felt I was holding on to the rock of Gibraltar! I felt totally safe! The rock of Gibraltar was me!And sShe was so right. I feel strongest when I am helping people. I am dependable, reliable and at my best and strongest when there is a problem. Obstacles for me are nothing but challenges!
I breeze through life always learning and researching and soaking everything around me like a sponge! And I love to share whatever I learn with others! Sharing is my biggest pleasure.
In spite of all that my early upbringing in the Middle East still haunts me as I struggle with my self esteem and self confidence to speak up. It still rings in my ears, 'be quiet, you're only a girl!' Perhaps that's why I feel safer writing! Paper doesnt tell me to be quiet! It's the inner voices in my head that stop me from telling it all exactly how it is! My constant personal challenge is to quieten down those inner voices.
At one time early in my life, I thought I would be in the diplomatic service or politics, but soon I realized that would be my death sentence. I am not a diplomatic person. I am far too honest. When I get going I am too outspoken of the truth and people do not like that. I don't know how to beat around the bush! I head for the target straight on in fury, which simply means - I get shot by the first bullet fired!