Are you extremely hard on yourself, being crueler to yourself than you would ever be to another human being? Do you doggedly question everything you say, do, and imagine, no matter how subtly or internally? Do you find fault with your body, discovering all means of imperfection with anything and everything about you? All it takes is paying mild attention to your thoughts for a few hours to discover and understand the immensity and consequences of pondering these questions. Self-doubt and self-recrimination are so widespread on this planet that they feel normal to most people, and it is these conditionings that we are called to transcend.
At the core of every human being—even the most seemingly evolved—is a seed of doubt that is planted in consciousness, often from the earliest moments after birth. Oddly enough, this seed is planted despite the most conscientious, considerate upbringing and parental attention. Some luckier individuals are implanted with a smaller seed of doubt due to more empowering circumstances or wonderful parental role models, but no one on this planet escapes some variation of this internalized seed.
Each person’s seed of doubt ultimately sprouts what is known as a survival personality, which becomes the proverbial persona mask worn in later childhood through adulthood. This mask is the part of each human being that perpetually defends, reacts, projects, and expects. It is never quite in the now, though it often pretends like it is. And it is never at peace. It rehearses life circumstances and is not fully authentic, but it seems natural out of habit. It moves one blindly through life, in a state of constant reaction, while it carefully maintains and protects one’s survival personality, surface identity, and presentation. The survival mask may change through time and seem to evolve, but the remnants of self-doubt and depreciation tend to remain.
The seed of doubt may be seen through the vantage point of ego only, for beyond ego is the soulful part of each person that eternally experiences the beauty, magnificence, and possibilities of life, the perfection of it all. This sacred and timeless aspect waits patiently for each of us, inherently open and receptive to life in the now (despite the survival personality’s reaction to all manner of lower emotion and action). This soulful self keeps each of us moving forward on the path of spirit, and it is this part of us that becomes accessible when we are brave enough to look beyond the veneer of doubt.
Imagine anticipating life as if you were awaiting the ultra-gentle touch of a cherished lover, trusting the universe in infinite ways, opening to enchantment, miracles, and the union of everything. Imagine living fully in the now without ruminating upon that which has been or may be, on fire with beauteous sensations, everything being ever new in awareness. These simple imaginings describe the feelings behind bliss, the soulful self beyond the seed of doubt; and all it takes to actually become this state of being is thinking the shift of consciousness into existence. It befits us all to remember that this state is indeed inside of each of us, and we are free to live from this state as often as we choose. It is our rightful way of being beyond struggle, beyond suffering and pain; and it is our eternal state of peace and joy, right here on earth.
Leslee J. Klinsky is an Akashic Records consultant and energy worker in Scottsdale, Arizona. She specializes in remote and in-person sessions that combine the wisdom of the Akashic Records with potent energy block releases for soul-level empowerment. 480-437-4415, www.energy-connection.net or www.akashicdreams.com.