I just arrived home from work and on the way a local radio disk jockey was asking people to call in with holiday tales of ReGifting.

One guy said he and his wife gave friends a decorative vase and two years later those friends gave them back the same gift. He said he raised a little malcontent but it was no big deal. The disk jockey asked if they still exchanged gifts and he said. “Yeah!”

I started to talk into my radio, (bear in mind I was in my car traveling down the freeway at about 65 mph,) “Tell him to give them something they want themselves!”

They didn't hear me and the disk jockey was some lame geek with no creative imagination. He had nothing intelligent to add to the conversation.

I spoke a little louder, “Tell him to give them something they want themselves!”

They still didn't hear me.

I yelled at the radio and shook my fist, “Tell him to give them something they want themselves, YOU IDIOT!”

I looked to my left and two old ladies had pulled up alongside me. I think they were in the act of passing? The one riding shotgun was so close I could see her face powder caking. She gave me a look like my teachers used to do way back in grammar school...that disgusted look I used to know so well. She no doubt saw me screaming at the radio.

I was obviously embarrassed...so I calmly looked her straight in the eye and picked my nose.

She said something to her spinster sister and they sped off.

It's too late for the guy on the radio, but not for my loyal readers. Maybe you know someone similar? A ReGifter who gives you back your own gifts. That's GREAT!

Give them something you want yourself. I'm sure there are a thousand things out there you'd love to have but would never spend the money on yourself. However, you would spare no expense for your friends.

Buy them the gift you want and two years later it'll be yours. It's a devious plot for that perfect thing you've always wanted.

It may not be easy. Two years is a long time. Tensions flare and the friendship will be tested as they always are for various reasons.

You must always remember, above all else, DON'T LOOSE THAT FRIENDSHIP! Keep it safely intact. It must stand the test of time! Forgive and forget. Turn the other cheek, etc. Keep those friends close to you, the years will pass.

A little hint never hurt. Actually you may be able to trim the time to one year. Mention that you've been looking for “The thing”...you've looked everywhere but they don't seem to be around? You and your wife would love to have one.

If you spy a slight smile and a gleam in his eye, you'll know it's in the bag!

If he says, “You gave us one of those last year.”

Get up and tell him, “Go to hell IDIOT!” and take your wife home.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

By George