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Marla Martenson

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The Real Reason He/She Is Not Calling You Back
by Marla Martenson   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Sunday, December 02, 2007
Posted: Sunday, December 02, 2007

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Men and women both go through the experience of having a great date with someone and then never hearing from the other person again. Here is some insight to that phenomenon.

Is He “Not Ready for a Relationship”—or Not Ready for You?

Ladies, it might interest you to know that few men who say they are not ready for a relationship really mean it that way. Though it may be hard to accept, if they feed you that line, it really means that they are not fully interested in you! When a guy is interested in you, he will call, no matter how busy he is. He will make sure that he “reserves” you for himself. He will make sure you have plans for the weekend—and the plans are with him. If you’ve been in a relationship for longer than three months, and have to ask where you stand in the relationship, you might as well sit down because the bad news is coming (unless of course, he strings you along with a lie)!
So, you go out on a date, have a fabulous time, feel real chemistry for the guy, but it’s been a week and you haven’t heard from him yet. If a guy hasn’t called after a week, HE’S JUST NOT INTERESTED! Women are always trying to analyze why a guy is not calling. Sometimes the woman wonders if she should call him. The answer is NO. When a man is interested, he will not only call you, but he will make sure that you know he is interested. Often times a man knows that he isn’t interested in seeing a woman again, but he can’t face rejecting or hurting her, so he just won’t call. Most men aren’t comfortable calling to say, “I had a great time, thanks and good luck, have a good life.” Or, “You’re really nice, but I just don’t want to take you out again.” Especially when they run the risk of the woman confronting him and asking “Why?”
Do not sit there and think of 101 reasons he may not be calling. It’s so tempting to make up excuses for the guy like, “He’s so busy at work, or “He just got out of a long-term relationship and needs his space.” Or my personal favorite, “He told me that he’s in the middle of moving.” But none of these excuses will stop a determined man. When a man meets the right woman, nothing stops him from calling or trying to see her. And nowadays with numerous means of contact—cell phones, faxes, blackberries, e-mail, etc.—there is no excuse for not getting in touch.

When a Guy Is Interested, He Will “Reserve” You for Himself

Ever try to figure out what’s going on in a guy’s head about how serious he is about you? Here’s what guys say about how and when they know she’s “The one.”

1. “I just want to be with her. She is always on my mind, even when I am at work.”
1. “I just get a gut feeling, like this girl is “The One.”
1. “ I like the way my friends like her. They are always commenting, “She’s really a great gal,” or “You two are really good together,” and “She’s really down to earth. Really nice and friendly.”
1. “I feel like I can bring her home to meet my family and be proud.”
1. “I just want to be with her, and only her.”
1. “I like everything about her. I love the way she walks and carries herself. I love the way she smells. She’s so feminine. “
1. “I feel comfortable around her. I feel I can be myself.”
1. “I feel like I want to protect her and do special things for her.”
1. “She is so sexy, a real turn-on, and at the same time she is really classy and elegant. I am proud to show her off.
1. “I just love her looks, the way she smells and how nicely she takes care of herself. It makes me think she’ll always do that.”
1. I can really imagine her being the mother of my children.”

We had such a great time, but now she’s not calling me back.

This is something that comes up in my work as a matchmaker at least a couple of times per week. We all know about guys not calling a gal when he says he will and how frustrated the ladies get, but it happens to the men all the time as well. And they are often times pretty confused about it. I just got a call the other day from my client Jim, he had a fabulous date with Veronica and when he asked her at the end of the evening if she would like to see him again, she said “Yes, call me.” “Marla, I am so confused, I have called her for the past three days, but she has not returned my calls, can you get me some feedback and see if she really wants to see me again or not?” Gentlemen, I am going to give it to you straight! Women have a really hard time hurting someone’s feelings or being put in an uncomfortable position. I am always happy to contact the woman and get feedback for my client, but it is usually pointless, the response is the same. “Jim was really sweet, but I am just not attracted to him physically.” So she just didn’t return his calls. Now, there is something else to be aware of, I have found that both men and women do this, if they do happen to get caught on the phone or asked out again, you might hear different reasons that they will make up telling you why they can’t see you again, some are:

1. I have decided to get back together with my ex.
1. I am so busy at work right now that I really don’t have time for a relationship.
1. I am going out of town for a couple of months, maybe we can see each other when I get back.
1. I just met someone else and want to see how it goes with him/her.
1. I’ve decided that I am really not interested in being in a relationship at this point in my life.

Women even ask me to make up something to tell the guy instead of telling him the truth, that she is just not interested in him romantically. I don’t like to do that because I think it is better to just be honest. So guys, if a gal is not returning your calls, most likely, she is just not interested, that’s all.

Web Site: Marla Martenson

Reader Reviews for "The Real Reason He/She Is Not Calling You Back"

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Reviewed by Richard Orey
It's really hard to believe that Marla Martenson could put so much wisdom and experience on just one page. But here it is for you guys and gals. The sad part of all this is that this article was posted nearly one year ago and I'm the first person to comment! What's with that?

Let me share this: I'm about to celebrate my 76th birthday. I met my wife when I was 14 years old and couldn't get her out of my mind, and still can't! And why? Just read the article above when Marla tells us what guys say when they've met "She's the one." And there's more truth here in her presentation of why "She's not calling me back."

This is a fabulous article that needs to be force-fed to 90 percent of the population.

Oh, yeah, another thing: In a couple of months we'll be celebrating our 57th wedding anniversary. Maybe we'll go to a motel, share a nice bottle of wine and have an exciting evening! (That's one thing I've learned for myself: Romance, companionship and lovemaking are not the property of the young, only!)

On behalf of all those who have their heads sticking in the sand, Marla, thank you for a wonderful article filled with great information. Perhaps you'll visit my den site and add a little to your knowledge of what makes a man tick by reading my poem, "IF."

With respect and admiration,
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