edited: Sunday, December 30, 2007
By D. Scott Arant
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
Posted: Sunday, December 30, 2007
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God dialogues with Scott about the subject of Life's passion.
I was meditating, and in the midst of my meditation the thought came to me… What if everyone was to do their passion? God “tweaked” me and my spirit quickened with the inner voice that said to me…” Yes and what if they all did what their passion was in life…what kind of a world would it be like”? Here is what God spoke to my heart…
Scott, it would be a glorious world indeed if everyone where to follow their own passion in life. Your world would be full of vibrancy, life, and beauty beyond degree. Why would that be God? Because then your brothers and sisters of the earth would be in their natural form. They would be in their creative form. They would look more like me. They would be more spontaneous, curious, and more like little children. They would look at life as not so difficult or dangerous or so scary. They would attack life with gusto and with exuberance and awe. Creations and inventions would abound that would make life joyful and more fulfilling. Wonders and miracles would abound and be prolific. Happiness and inward fulfillment would be a byproduct of this passion.
God, why aren’t we seeing more of this in our world then? This is a great question and one I will begin to answer for you. Because simplistically Scott, people are not listening to their own feelings or to their heart. They are listening more to others opinions of who they should be and how they should act. These are they that listen to the opinions of others more than what I have put into their hearts…and what is their deepest desire is, and what is their deepest passion in life.
This listening to everyone but me has caused the flame of passion to burn low to an ember…and unfortunately for some…the ember is no more. They have given up on life and want out at this point. Why God? There are many reasons my son. Most of them are because they were not true to themselves in some way and they lost their compass…their inward compass that would direct them back to this passion of life.
Perhaps it was a well known person that dissuaded them from their passion because it would never bring them the money or income that they would want. So others opinions became their adopted opinion and belief system. Maybe it was a well meaning parent doing the same. Maybe the child came up to one of them and said… “Daddy, I love to draw and this is what I want to do all my life.” Instead of listening to the child and encouraging them in their passion, they instead derided them, chided them, or discouraged them from it in a way as to, “clamp-down” on their desires, thus dowsing this ember of passion in them for fear of more derision.
Maybe a school teacher heard them say something and they made a public laughing stock of them which immediately clamped down on their natural feelings and passions. Maybe they were candid with a friend or lover who took what they said and laughed at them so as to make them feel embarrassed by such a statement and they vowed never to repeat it again lest they be the point of laughter and derision of others.
These seeming innocuous events in ones life can cause the heat of desire and passion to wane and wax cold. They hurt because of it and they make an inner vow never to do it again. Scott, this can even go into areas such as sex, did you know this. Yes, but what is your point God. My point is, sexuality is a very sensitive subject for most of you humans. Sexuality is an expression of your beings. This sexuality is given to humanity as a great gift from God. It has been perverted greatly and degraded so much that people do not really understand how to give oneself to another fully in their expression of sexuality. Sex is not a sin and it has no connotation of dirtiness, ugliness, and should have no embarrassment attached to it, whatsoever.
All these expressions of sexuality are distorted by your own mis-creations. Sex is an inward passion that is a flame in your life. It has tremendous energy attached to it. When this passion is expressed in a loving manner, it can be a source of great healing, and a way to express yourself to your lover that is unlike any other way to express. You can express verbally your love and devotion for another, but there is nothing like the expression of sexuality and the vulnerability of expressing in a sexual way. It goes deeper than words. It is “poetry in motion” as you would say…it is the canvass upon which you all paint upon.
Most of you are afraid of your sexuality. It is something that is greatly repressed in your cultures. Even your religions, which you highly value and respect, have taken the gift of sex and made it a sin and something that is intrinsically bad. To be holy, one has to give up their sexuality and take an oath of celibacy to be close to God. This alone has caused more pain and grief in those who truly wanted to follow after God then can be imagined. It has “backfired” on many of your churches and there are countless wounded because of this erroneous belief. Instead of expressing their sexuality in a natural way, they instead repressed it, and diminished this great gift, that was meant for all of mankind. The flame of sexuality was repressed and banished…but was it really? This inward passion that you call sexuality cannot be repressed, only expressed.
Sexuality seems to have a mind of its own have you noticed? When a child comes into a stage you call puberty their bodies begin to change and morph into a pre-adult stage. Natural, sexual urges happen when the hormones kick in and begin to influence these natural biological functions. Your parents might have caught you experimenting with your sexuality in some way and to discourage you from getting out of control, they repressed it by clamping down on it so to speak, and told you it was bad, unnatural, or just plain sin. In your heart you know this is untrue , but because you believe your parents, you let these words sink into your hidden consciousness and influence the rest of your lives and your sexual experiences.
Maybe you developed faster in your puberty stage of life, or, perhaps, were slower in your human anatomical development and others made fun of you. They laughed at your anatomy and made fun of you in sport and this caused a hidden reaction in your being. You somehow associated this event with your sexuality and it stifled this part of your beingness. All these examples have their origins in diminishing your beingness…and causing your passion to wane.
God, how does one overcome such obstacles then? Scott, I am so glad you asked me this…I will tell you now. Listen carefully to what I say here and you will find the passion returning back to your own life. It will flow again. It might have seemed despondent, and dormant for a season, but you will again feel the passion come forth again…only this time my beloveds, it will never be extinguished again…for you will realize that passion, like anything, is all in your power…it just needs to be re-kindled again.
Scott, let’s say one of these examples happened to you as an adolescent or as a pre-adult. Let’s say for example purposes that you were experimenting with yourself with sex. You were feeling these inward urges of sexuality and you gave yourself permission to explore sex. Maybe you began to play with your sexual organs and you found that this play was enjoyable. It was fun. It was exhilarating and had a passion attached to it…in inward energy to express it was present… and so you explored it with great fervor and desire. Maybe, one day while having some time on your hands and thinking you were all alone you decided to express this sexuality again, only this time without your knowing, someone was to walk in on you, while you were exploring.
Maybe this was your mom who came home from work earlier than normal only to find you expressing this sexuality to yourself. How would that make you feel my beloved? Embarrassed God. Scott, why would you be embarrassed by a gift of God? Because I was never told it was a gift, but rather a sin. In fact not only would I be told it was a sin, but I would be told it was homosexuality, and that homosexuality was punishable by eternal death. And, Scott how do you think an event like this would affect you, if your sexuality was repressed, and spoken of as sin, and even punishable by eternal damnation of your soul? It would make me feel terrible God. It would also make me go “underground” in expressing my biological urges and sexuality.
Yes, it would Scott. This “underground” word that you use is appropriate here…and you would live with this embarrassment and it would be carried into your adult psyche and would affect your life completely. Let’s roll the cameras back on time now Scott and let’s assume this experience did indeed happen to you where you were exploring your sexuality and your mom, un-announced, walked in on your sexual experimentation. Let’s say that she actually witnessed this experimentation. She might have be startled by your expression but instead of saying anything that would make you feel bad, let’s say that instead, she gently closed the door to your room and walked away. She waited for you to emerge from your room, and you might have been embarrassed, just by the fact of your nakedness and your sexual expression having been exposed to her.
God, I would still be embarrassed. Yes and what if your mom was to take you aside and decided to help you with your sexuality instead of degrading it? That would have been helpful I am sure. Yes, it would. So, instead of beating you up for your expression, she instead encouraged you in it in a helpful encouraging way. So, let’s re-roll the cameras back on this event, you emerge from your room feeling kind of embarrassed as you say.
Your mom then begins to talk to you and say… “Let’s go have a soda pop you and me.” For which you returned the conversation by saying… Sure. You immediately assume she is going to go after your sexuality and its expression…as something negative. She takes you to a fun place that you have eaten at before to have a pop with you. She begins the conversation in this way… “Scott, you are growing up aren’t you? You would say, yea, I guess so. Scott, I want you to know that what I witnessed today you should not be embarrassed by it. She would then apologize to you by saying… I am sorry for walking in on you without pre-warning into your private room. I actually was unaware of you being home at the time…but I should have pre-announced my coming so as to not embarrass you. I am so sorry for waling in on your expression of sexuality. Scott, this is such a wonderful gift, the gift of sexuality, that I would love to open up a dialogue with you around it…is that okay with you? You would then give consent to open up the dialogue. Your mom might open up to you by talking about her first sexual experience as a young adult, and how she had learned from her friends, how to experiment with sex herself. She would then tell you how great the feelings were and how they gave her joy and also had fun attached to these feelings. She might even tell you there were some feelings of guilt around her sexuality too. She would tell you about how great this gift of God was in the expression of your sexuality and it was in preparation for you someday having a lover of your own, whereby you could express this deep expression of love, to each other.
Then she would talk perhaps of how her friends tell her about the “other” side of sex, and how it is “dirty”, or “naughty” and a thing to be hidden from your parents, or something to be ashamed of, and something that one should sneak around in the dark with. Then she would say that these urges were biological and perfectly normal for anyone to feel, and that if you did not feel or sense them, you would still be inclined to experiment with this great gift of God. She would tell you that experimentation with sex was normal and that every child experiments in one form or another with their own sexuality. She would tell you how this great gift of sexuality actually came from God for our enjoyment and fulfillment as human beings. She would tell you also that it had to be handled with caution though because that is how you were made, and that is the way babies are made. She would tell you that you were an expression of their love-making and commitment that they had to one another, and that you were the beautiful gift of God to them through this expression of their sexuality.
She would tell you that sex is not sick, or sinful, but perfectly natural, but that it also had to be handled with great care and love. That sex was not just for personal satisfaction only, but it was also a gift to be able to reproduce yourself in your offspring, or children. Not, that pleasuring yourself was of any sin, or consequence, in fact, it was perfectly normal and fun to engage sexually. She would tell you that your sexuality when expressed with love and care, was of great benefit to the world, and that the world would not be as fun of a place to live without this great gift. This gift could not be forced upon another without their total consent and happiness as it also had great power to hurt and to harm. This was to be a consensual agreement between two consenting adults who were aware of the consequences of pregnancy.
This soulful mother would tell you these words in all kindness and consideration for you in order to encourage you to come to her anytime you were confused about what you were experiencing sexually, or what your friends were telling you about this great gift. This would have helped you immensely in your sexuality and its expression later on in life.
Is this the kind of treatment most of you get when you are in sexual exploration? No, quite the contrary occurs. Have you ever wondered why there seems to be this energy around sexuality and its expression? Yes, but I guess I never took it further with questioning God. Why not? I don’t really know why…I guess life get’s in the way, and you just learn to move forward with it. Besides we are not all encouraged to question much God. Questions could bring us pain, grief and problems. Why is that my child? Again, I don’t know. Scott, it is just the opposite here…all of you should be encouraged to ask as many questions as possible. Parents should be open to all questions, even the ones that seem uncomfortable to answer. Yes, I know this now God. I have raised three children myself. And Scott, how did you do with their questions of sexuality? I stifled it in some way God, because I was under a belief system of religion that clamped down on its expression too. So, I parroted to my son what I was told about pre-marital sex and sexual exploration. Scott, in love can I expose these conversations you had with your son about what your idea at that time in your life was about sexuality? Yes, God…if it will help someone else not make the same mistakes as me, I am willing to express them. Good…let’s proceed then, shall we? Sure God.
So, Scott, what did you say to your own son about his sexuality? Not, much to be honest with you God. But, my wife coerced me to talk to my son about experimentation and masturbation. What did you say to him about this? Well, God, I am not real proud of what I said to him, in fact I feel guilty now about what I did say to him and ashamed at myself. Wow, my son…all these emotions are coming up around your conversation with your son? Yes, God…I feel really bad that I gave him some terrible advice. What kind of advice my child? Stupid advice. Like what? Like that masturbation was punishable by hell and was tantamount to homosexuality? That to masturbate or experiment with yourself was sinful and needed God’s forgiveness. Scott, I know this hurts your heart right now because you are opening it for me to look inside.
Scott, let’s set aside your idea of your conversation with your son around his sexuality for a minute. What do you know now my son? I know now that all sexuality is perfectly normal and not sinful as I had been told. I know now it is one of the greatest ways to express one’s being. Okay, Scott, setting aside love for your own wife or mate, what is your idea of sexual experimentation now? Again, perfectly normal God. I realize there is no sin in masturbation or the pleasuring yourself sexually. Good. I am glad you feel this way. Do you feel it to be sinful now my child? No, deep down, no. Scott, you seemed to have some hesitation here…are you sure you have shed all shame over any kind of sexual or personal expression of sex? God, only you know for sure. I will say this it is getting better for me. What do you mean by getting better for you? Just that…there seems to be improvement in my ideas of my sexuality. This is great Scott, I am all about you seeing improvement in this area.
What about your own personal lovemaking with your beloved spouse? God, it is getting better too. Good, can you elaborate for me more about this improvement? Sure. Scott, will you explain your first honeymoon night to me? In all the detail? In as much as you feel secured to tell me…leave off for the sake of your audience, any lucid terms, or expression if you will. Okay, well I was all excited about consummating my marriage so to speak and acting out in a sexual way my feelings of love for my wife. Okay, Scott, was this the only time you had sex with your wife? Yes, God it was…we were both virgins and we both loved each other. We saved ourselves for this day. Before this day, I had asked my father for his take on the first night, and he gave me very little help, except the advice to take more time in lovemaking with my wife. Also, my wife told me later that her instruction from her mother was pretty limited to her as well.
So, Scott, how was your first sexual experience this night? Not too good God. Okay, what can you tell me about it? Well, it started out great, we were kissing passionately in the back-seat of our car, one of our friends was the driver, and he was taking us to our hotel suite, so we could be alone together and consummate our marriage. Everything was great until I got into bed with her. We started foreplay and I was aroused but I could not have an erection. How did this make you feel Scott? Like less than a man, God. I began to question my own sexuality and wondered if I had been “cursed” by you for my some of my personal sexual explorations on myself. So, Scott, why did you feel this “curse” as you said from God on not being able to consummate your first married night with your wife? Because God, what I taught my son about sexual exploration is what I felt about my own sexual explorations. So, Scott, in other words, what you taught your own son about expressing his sexuality is not necessarily what you did right? Right. I would sneak it in God from time to time as my biological urges came into my consciousness. So, how did that affect you on this night my beloved?
I thought to myself that this was God’s way of punishing me for being sinful and experimenting with my own sexuality with masturbation. So, what really happened here Scott? What I realized later God was that I was just too tired the night we were to consummate our sexual relationship, and I was just too excited too. I was up most the night before and couldn’t sleep, and then with all the excitement of the marriage ceremony, and all the events around the marriage, I just was too excited to “get-up.” This not being able to “get-up” caused me great anxiety whereby I translated it into thinking you had “cursed” me forever. That this was my punishment for my own sexual experimentation on myself, I thought. Were you finally able to consummate your marriage my son? Yes, God the next day my wife and I had a great time and I felt great relief that I was not “cursed” forever as before thought. I realize after a good night sleep, and after all the hub-bub around the ceremony that I was back to normal again. Good. But it still had an impact on your life did it not? Yes, God it still did.
I know this is wrong now…I realize its folly now…but at the time…it was very real to me. I also felt feelings of shame and embarrassment. I wondered what my wife would think of me…that I didn’t love her enough to be able to consummate the relationship or that I was a homosexual and didn’t like women. These are the thoughts that streamed through my head at the time God. Yes…I know…I was there with you…I did feel your anguish and pain that night my son. This is why I wanted you to get it out into the open here Scott. Not to embarrass you my child, for much of what you experienced in this event, is what others experience in their own sexual relationships, but they don’t have the heart to bring these deep feelings to the surface. So, Scott, my beloved friend, thanks for being so vulnerable with your own sexual experience here for the entire world to hear about.
You see Scott, that by just being open and sharing the truth can, and will help others, come to their truth too. So, I am so supportive of you Scott, and I hold you in great esteem and honor for sharing your most intimate of feelings…even if they were uncomfortable in expressing them all for the world to see. You have great courage my beloved. I also did this for your benefit too Scott…did you know this? Yes, God, I know you are able to help others, and to help me too. Yes, Scott, that is always my divine intent is to help you all in this journey you call life. Scott, here is a secret for you to know…You can always tell me everything without any fear of telling me you’re your deepest and darkest secrets…because I already know them. You never have to hide them from me in embarrassment. I know everything here even though for you it seems like the first time you have really expressed these thoughts to anyone…except maybe, your beloved wife. Scott, this is the kind of relationship I am really after with all my beloved children of the earth. Total honesty in bringing all things hidden to the light, my child…for I dwell in, and am THE LIGHT. It is in this honesty with me, where you will get your greatest healing, and comfort.
I wish that all my beloved family of earth would always come to God in complete honesty knowing that I am your loving friend and will never expose you to hurt you…only to help you…to restore you. Honesty and truth is how I work with you. The more honest you are with yourselves, because it must start there, the more honest you can be with me. Quit trying to kid yourself, and fool yourselves. If you know that I truly love all of you without condition then you can come to me about anything and I will never reject you for it. I will never make you feel less than human, chide, or degrade you, as might have been your experience with others. Sexuality has tremendous power to heal and is such a wonderful gift to you as a human being you should not be afraid of it. You should embrace it with fervor and passion. It is my gift to you, not just to produce offspring and children, but to also express the creative side of you…the fun side of you. To experiment with your sexuality is only right and blessed by me. There are no taboos with God. I just want each and every one of you to be responsible with this gift of God. Quit calling sex dirty, ugly, filthy, or sinful. I do not have an ego, but if I did…this would be like a slap in your creators face.
Sex is to be enjoyed by you and your lover. It is not to be one-sided and selfish. Both should dance the dance of this sexuality, with complete expression and fulfillment. If one does not like or feel good about something happening in this sexual expression, than please honor their wishes, and don’t do it. Don’t force upon another an act that would hurt, jeopardize, or cheapen them sexually. Sex should be consensual and expressed with total love, passion, energy, and mutual consideration.
If your partner does not like a certain thing in this expression, don’t get mad at them or chide them for it...let your love come into this situation and just be allowing of your partners feelings. This is what they want, and what I want for all of you. Encourage each other to be open to sexual experimentation. You need to find out what makes the other person “tick” sexually. Everyone will have a different emphasis and none of it is wrong…except when the other disagrees, or expresses otherwise. Always ask permission of your lover. It is best not to get into arguments while engaging in sex. Save the arguments for later when you are out of the bedroom, or place, where you make love.
The bedroom is not a place for you foisting upon anyone your idea of good sex…it is not a time to manipulate or cajole them into anything they don’t want to do. It is not to be forced but it is to be… a holy communion. A place where you and your partner feel safe and secure in your individual sexuality. It is a beautiful thing if expressed in love. I desire it to be this way for all my beloved family of the earth. I want you to take this to heart and begin to practice your sexuality in an expression of love and communion.
Scott, I know this is a departure for what you thought I was going to say here. Yes, God…another surprise…but a good one I think. Yes, my beloved I agree with you. Scott, this is one way to get your passion back. When you express your deepest love for your lover I am giving you a preview of what it can be with me too. No, I don’t need sex…I have something greater than all human sexuality…It is an intimacy and love that goes beyond sex. I have complete and utter unbridled love and passion for you and for all my beloveds. When you feel the orgasma of heaven and the beauty of my love it will pall the feelings you have, or experience in your sexual love. It cannot be even compared. Wait and see. What a joy will be yours…what a joy will be ours…eternal and complete in every way.
So, my beloved, and all my beloveds, allow your passion to be unbridled and you will change your world for the good of all. Amen.