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Flying Fox AKA Ted L Glines

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Horoscope
by Flying Fox AKA Ted L Glines   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Sunday, January 13, 2008
Posted: Sunday, January 13, 2008

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We sometimes read the Horoscopes for light entertainment. I have studied Astrology. I can do Natal and Progressed charts, but I would NEVER do a chart for a Zodiac-Believer. Never! Fun is one thing. Obsession is beyond my ken ...


 

Horoscope
by Ted L Glines

This, on MSN, for Sunday 13 January 2008:

“Sagittarius
November 22 - December 20

“The  time for planning and  calculating is over, dear Sagittarius. The  time for taking aggressive action is  now. If you don't have your  armor ready, too bad. You will be thrust onto the  battlefield  with the rest of the troops even if you are in your underwear. The  more you try to delay that which you know is inevitable, the more  difficult a  time you will have. Bite the bullet and charge full  speed ahead with whatever  armor you've got.”

Is that scary or what???!!!

I have not, Dear Ones, been planning or calculating ANYTHING, and I have not been DELAYING anything, and my only armor is draped on the frames of my Diablo II Expansion game characters. And I have always known that biting bullets is really hard on your teeth. I bit a bullet, once, and it cracked two of my molars. Pain hurts! It is a great Horoscope, however, even if it is a crock.

Picture me, squinting left and right through the dinette blinds of my little trailer. Is anyone coming? I must shoot them. How? I have no gun, nor even a bow or slingshot. Maybe rubber bands and paper-clips? A soda-straw and spit-wads? If anyone knocks on my door, they are toast! Ah, I will fall back on my wizardly skills; I will turn them into Geicos, or geckos, or something. Let's see ... how did that spell go? “Ennie meannie miney moe ...” Nope, that wasn't it. Dang! Hey, I can do the impossible -- all I have to do is stay at Holiday Inn ...

Thrust onto the battlefield in my underwear? That sounds like a case of dire doo-doo. Imagine skinny me, with knobby knees, out on that battlefield in front of my Baptist and Mormon and Muslim friends (worse -- in front of YOU!), flapping around like some kind of idiot scarecrow ... I would never live it down. We are NOT talking the build of Chuck Norris, here. Nope, underwear is out of the question!

Phone just rang. I grabbed it, hit “talk,” quickly hit “off,” and I may have cut off a happy caller announcing my winning of the Texas Lottery (yeah, right!). More likely, it was some Nigerian with a wonderful offer. Or one of Rudy's unpaid campaign staffers begging a donation.

I'll be sure to let you know if I find myself cast into the Sir Lancelot role (in my underwear?) battling to save the world as we know it (all the while questioning whether “life according to CNN” is worth saving). Sir Lancelot looked great in armor -- maybe not so good in underwear. Even his girlfriend giggled at his underwear ...

Doncha love Horoscopes?

 

Web Site: Waking Muse


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Reviewed by Georg Mateos 1/14/2008
Horoscope tou said? and you a non believer? what's wrong with you? never hear that even one of our presidents use it to navigate our country? what's wrong with you? and whats wrng with the paper's horoscope for Piscis that said an humongous ammount of money coming my way? it was a Money Fargo Armored Car rearending my car waiting for the red light to take a hike, talk about being screwed by money!!!!!!
Georg
Reviewed by Kathy Armijo 1/13/2008
Horoscopes are just that - horror. Yet, in a general sense they give one pause to reflect and inspire one to move forward.

I, ocassionaly, read mine for entertainment. Thank you.

God bless yo. Kathy
Reviewed by Kimmy Van Kooten 1/13/2008
ooooh...ooooh do mine! do mine! I'm a Libra! LOL!

this is so full of it...I was rolling! That Teddy tongue and cheek...HAHA!
:)
SMILE!
Love and Peace~
Kimmy~
Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan 1/13/2008
pretty funny-gird those loins and go!



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