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Tom Hyland

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Books by Tom Hyland
Snake Oil?
By Tom Hyland
Last edited: Saturday, March 01, 2008
Posted: Saturday, March 01, 2008



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Tom Hyland

• GOOD PEOPLE vs. ARROGANT S.O.B's
• CONJUGATION OF VERBS
• RENT
• Fun With Some CON Words
• RACISM
• GOD BLESS THE @#%^ CORPORATIONS!
• BERRIES
           >> View all 375
DISCLAIMER - Full credit for the GERM of this idea goes to MR. ED - Ole PEE-WEE ED!

As he has not yet had an opportunity to AGREE to this new concept of selling SNAKE OIL, do NOT start inundating him with CHECKS, for investing in this fine Business Opportunity, OK?

In the miniscule chance that he might turn it down, it might be necessary to supply MY ADDRESS, for the receipt of all those MILLIONS of CHECKS!

Just watched a great Western movie last night - SERAPHIM FALLS - Liam Neeson, Pierce Brosnan, and Jessica Huston star in this flick. Her character is pushing an ELIXIR - who does she represent?




SNAKE OIL ?

Copyright: 03-01-08 - Tom Hyland




ED - BY GEORGE, YOU'VE GOT IT!

WHERE DO I SIGN UP? I'll take the 1st 100 shares . $1 each! We'll make a fortune!

ASE will be a household name brand! ANTI SIDE EFFECT PILL -
just like HEADON and AIRBORNE ...

What COLOR should it be? Women like MAUVE!

What ingredients? Something SAFE and DIGESTIBLE - i.e. will just pass through the system and not be absorbed - something easily obtainable and cheap to produce ???

EUREKA! I got it! How about plain old DIRT!

Little teensy-weensy BALLS OF DIRT - another possible acronym -
BOD - when taken with water, become -
MUD - Make Ur Day - will actually provide some ROUGHAGE on their trip through the bowels!

OH - OH - OH --- maybe a catchier name is possible, for an instantly recognizable SLOGAN ---

ANTI-SIDE-STEP ... or ASS ... Avoid Stupid Symptoms ...

DISCLAIMERS - all NATURAL ingredient - NO FDA colors, NO additives, NO preservatives, NO manmade chemicals, NO limited shelf life, NO NUTTIN' HONEY!

AFTER we split the original PROFITS - then we make absolutely NO change to the FORMULA - just change the packaging, or LABEL to another name --

JD - JUST DIRT ! God's Gift - OF, TO, and FOR Man!

"Remember man, thou are DIRT, and unto DIRT thou shalt return!"

OH - OH - OH --- wait a minute - FA-GET-A-BOUT any formula. or how to COAT pills - we'll now make a SIDE PRODUCT -

EOEA - Elixir Of Effect Avoidance. JSAS - Just Shake And Shoot!

Cute little PLASTIC bottles of MUDDY WATER - NO EXPIRATION DATES -

NO MUSS, NO FUSS - packaged like little MINIATURES - besides drugstores and supermarkets, now obtainable at all your LIQUOR stores - taken just like a SHOOTER - Down the Hatch, 7-11's, Royal Farms, every Gas station in the good Ole U S of A ...


What's your ADDRESS, so I can mail my FIRST CHECK???

Yours, in Good Health - Tom ...

f

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Reviewed by John Martin
Missed that one, but I'm going to Netflex it. I bought some snake oil once, but it didn't work, my pet python still squeaked Someone suggested snake graphite but I couldn't find any at Pet World. So I just ended up starching and ironing it. That worked! It don't squeak no more.
Reviewed by Jackie (Micke) Jinks
Hey! Me too! But I watched Seraphim Falls about a year ago. I've adored Liam Neeson since his "Michael Collins" movie (if you haven't seen this, do so soon!)

As to ASE (or ASS), I think I'll leave this to you fellows; sounds more like a male harmone thingie to me :o)

Micke
Reviewed by Mr. Ed
Great Minds must truly Think Alike! I just recently watched Seraphim Falls, myself. And, I really liked it. Quite a different role for one of my favorite James Bonds, and Liam Neeson is always good.

Now, as for ASE, I am not a greedy man. A Fifty/Fifty Split on the Billions we'll soon be raking in, is fine with me.

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