Join Free! | Login    
   Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!


Featured Authors:  Matthew Miller, iPeggy Schmuldt, iDavid Hearne, iKathleen Morris, iBlue Sleighty, iDavid Arthur Walters, iJoyce Scarbrough, i

  Home > Relationships > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Marla Martenson

· + Follow Me
· Contact Me
· Books
· Articles
· News
· 9 Titles
· 4 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
Member Since: Mar, 2006

Marla Martenson, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.

Featured Book
The Landlord's Bookkeeper
by Nancy Neville

A Step by Step instruction manual on how to setup your properties in QuickBooks...  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Soul Mate or Soul Flake
by Marla Martenson   
Rated "PG" by the Author.
Last edited: Saturday, March 15, 2008
Posted: Saturday, March 15, 2008

  Print   Save    Follow    Share 

Recent articles by
Marla Martenson

• Is It Okay To Date Someone At Work?
• Fabulous No Matter What
• How Do You Give the Heave Ho When It's a No-Go?
• Get Ready For Valentine's Day! Dating Tips From A Professional Matchmaker
• The Real Reason He/She Is Not Calling You Back
           >> View all

How looking can be counter productive to finding your soul mate

                             Soul Mate or Soul Flake

 Stop Searching and Start Attracting


Chances are you are like a lot of people who believe that you need to work really hard at finding your soul mate. You scan the room when you are out in a club, party, restaurant, the gym, or wherever there might be some eligible men. You ask friends if they know of anyone. You put your photo up on various web sites. You go to mixers and singles parties. Seriously searching for a partner is like having a second job!

If you choose to go to one of the online dating sites, for example, you can spend a lot of time reading the profiles sent to you and weeding out those that might actually have some interest to you. Then you have to write each person back and forth. That’s most likely followed by a lot of time talking on the phone. Finally, you get excited about someone and decide to meet—only to find out that his online photo is a million years old (or isn’t even his)! Or he forgot to mention that he is not actually divorced yet. Or  neglected to tell you about the three kids he has under the age of five. It’s not only time-consuming, but it’s exhausting!


Why “Looking” May Be the Equivalent of Losing


Here is an example of how “looking” can get you into trouble. You have probably heard that going to a bar or a nightclub isn’t the best place to meet someone. But a bar or a nightclub could be the wrong place, or the right place, depending on who shows up on any given night. The point I am trying to make is that there is no “right place” or “wrong place.” Your success has nothing to do with the place, but rather with the fact that you are “looking.” Whenever you go out “looking,” whether it’s in a bar or a grocery store or a singles mixer, chances are you will become disappointed and discouraged. This “desperately trying to make it happen” thinking, or the “this will be the night that I meet him” approach, actually has the opposite effect.

I have a single girlfriend named Gina. Whenever we go out for a drink, instead of having a relaxing time and enjoying my devastatingly fascinating conversation, her head is twisting around like Linda Blair in The Exorcist all night long, trying to see who’s there or if anyone new has come in the door. She actually misses the entire evening because she is so engrossed in looking around to see if her “soul mate” has shown up yet. This is simply no way to live your life, display confidence to the opposite sex, or enjoy the company you are with.

Please remember that others can see right through it if you are acting desperate to meet someone. Be a classy person! Prove to the people you meet that you are someone capable of enjoying your friends and whatever is happening in this instant. Let people see that you are just out living your life with no ulterior motive. Then you may be pleasantly surprised at what happens. Plus, you will be much more likely to meet and attract high-quality people who know how to treat others with kindness and respect because you do.

And the same idea applies if you are using a matchmaking service or doing online dating to meet someone special. You don’t need to treat each date with an expectation or desperate wish that this person is “the one.” If you go only expecting to meet a new person and enjoy his company, you take the pressure off and avoid disappointment if there is no love connection. Who knows, you could end up making a new friend or business contact, or maybe this guy will turn out to be a good match for one of your girlfriends. Stay cool, be sweet and have FUN!!

Web Site:

Want to review or comment on this article?
Click here to login!

Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!

Popular Relationships Articles
  1. George Raft Helps I Love Lucy's Lucille Ba
  2. 'Perfect Partner' Mentality – Common Cause
  3. Are There Still Differences Between Male a
  4. Why Jimmy Fallon Lost Nicole Kidman
  5. Are You Sex-Starved?
  6. The Sacred Man
  7. Do You Understand Emotional Intelligence?
  8. Seniors with Seniors
  9. How to Grow Old Together
  10. Dear Dr. Romance: Can short guys date?

It's All About Her: A Man-to-Man's Guide to Marital Bliss by Jim Hamilton

Delivered in a straightforward, witty, and thought-provoking style, It’s All About Her is designed to spur actions and insights that work in the real world. Some of HER suggestions..  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Majikal by Tygo Lee

When fantasy is magically transformed into reality.....  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us

Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.