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Dian Ramsey

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Member Since: Mar, 2008

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My Ontario Beautiful
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Mary Angela Nangini's poems celebrate the richness of life and love. From the city to cottage-country and the roads in between, Nangini explores the changing seasons of h..  
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Cause and Effects of Low Self Esteem
by Dian Ramsey   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Monday, April 07, 2008
Posted: Monday, April 07, 2008

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This article addresses the issues one faces when they have been continually badgered or belittled by someone else and the end result is a low self esteem. this article also discusses how to overcome this situation and live a productive life

Low self esteem can be brought about by many situations in ones life time. You can be the child of an overbearing parent that continually belittles you or tells you that what you are doing is never right or never enough. Other examples of low self esteem come from an abusive marriage or relationship in your life. These tend to be related to alcohol and drug abuse. This type of situation happens after one or the other looses his or her job and feels that they are no longer successful and takes their frustration out on the other members of the family. They feel the only way to make themselves better is to constantly belittle and badger the other spouse. Most abused spouses feel that they deserve this relationship

The person who bears the burden is the one who is abused or has to try to live in these circumstances. When you hear day in and day out that you are not a good mother, wife, professional or even a good Christian, you start to believe what is being said about you. You are very dependent on what others think about you and you can't live without the direct praise of some one else. You will stop at nothing to gain the praise of others. Usually these people don't go any farther than the person abusing them for their self worth. They feel that they are the reason for their spouses problems.

Parents of a very ill child or a child they may have lost due to an accident will spend their entire lives blaming themselves for what happened. These people come to a point that they feel that they don't deserve to live. They feel that they are not fit parents and may even go to the extreme of ignoring the children that are left. They may idolize the lost or sick child in an attempt to keep them alive or make themselves feel they are being good parents. These parents may hold their lost child up to the living ones and make them feel that they are not as good as the child they lost, thus continuing the cycle of low self esteem through generation to generation.

It does not matter the circumstances that these people find themselves in to bring about this situation of low self esteem, the answer lies in finding ways to overcome their feeling of worthlessness and to come to know that they do have worth and a place in this world. In my personal situation with this problem, it was not until I got back into church and was reassured of the love of God for me and that I did matter to Him and His work. The biggest hurdle for me was to come to a time when I could forgive the one that had abused me for many years. The day I told him face to face that I forgave him, was the day I got my life back and started to build a new and better life for myself. I soon learned that doing things for others and helping others gave me back my sense of self esteem. I have learned that my self esteem is not based on what others think of me, but my ability to give freely to others and expect nothing in return. God is the one who makes the final decision whether my life has counted for something, not me. As long as there is breath in me, I will serve Him with all the fervor in my being and know that through Him I gain my strength and that nothing is impossible through Him

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