What are the holidays like in your marital relationships? You have meals to prepare, parties to plan, time to split between families, and gifts to purchase. You may even think about blessing those that are less fortunate than you are by donating to charity, visiting the homeless, and donating to shelters, all in an effort to partake in the spirit of giving. All of these are great ideas to have when the holidays approach and can truly make a positive difference in someone else's life. In reflecting for a moment, when you spend so much time paying attention to things outside of your marriage for the holidays, how do you incorporate your spouse? Do you plan some time to share with them while you are making so many plans to spend with others?
Did you know that during the holidays, people get so overwhelmed with so many things going on around them, that they start to neglect their spouses? It is important that while you are doing your holiday planning, that you plan time to spend with your spouse. You will find some tips below on planning some time with your spouse for the holidays.
1. Seek Feedback
Often during the holidays, individuals get so busy planning what they want to do, that they sometimes forget to incorporate the feelings of their spouses. Be sure to seek feedback from your spouse on how he or she would like to spend the holidays, and then plan them together.
2. Don't Get Easily Offended
No two people will always want to do the same things the exact same way. A difference in personalities, attitudes, and values, all play a role in our decision-making. Do not get offended if your spouse has a different view on the holiday planning than you do. Understand that it is Ok to have a different view, while at the same time having respect for each other's views.
3. Be Willing to Compromise
You are now in this marriage together and you bring two different backgrounds to the relationship. Be willing to work with your spouse and come to an agreement on how you will spend your holidays together. Keep in mind that you are married to your spouse and not your family. While you love your family unconditionally, you do have a commitment to your spouse now, which should take precedence.
4. Be Mindful of Your Words
The holidays can bring stress into relationships if couples allow it to happen. During stressful times, individuals can get frustrated and say things they do not really mean, out of the frustration. Be sure that you are careful with the words you allow to come out of your mouth, when communicating with your spouse. You cannot take words back and once they hit, they can sometimes be painful, especially coming from someone you love.
5. Spend Time with Your Spouse
In all of your planning, be sure you include spending time with your spouse. Do not forget that they need some time for just the two of you to spend together. No children, no in-laws, no out-laws, and no friends, just you and them, alone. You may think that the holidays are about spending time with family and friends, and you have a valid point. However, your spouse is a part of your covenant family, and that is a bit different that your biological family.
Make your holidays fun by ensuring you collaborate with your spouse on celebrating them. Taking some time to enjoy your spouse will strengthen your marriage and make them happy.