Scott speaks of the value of his mother and about her 80th Birthday today.
My Mom’s 80th Birthday
Today marks my mom’s 80th birthday and I am sitting here at Panera Bread writing out my thoughts about her life.
I am one of seven children. I am the oldest male child in my family.
On my mom’s last birthday, I was able to take about three hours on an extended lunch with her at one of her favorite lunch places to eat…The Cheesecake factory. It was a wonderful lunch.
I asked the waiter to please do not rush us as I wanted to spend some time with my mother for her special birthday. I was able to listen more during this time with her, as most the time I am doing the talking. I wanted to hear from her about her life as a child growing up and what it was like as perceived from her eyes.
It was quite an interesting conversation to say the least. I was quite surprised by the tough life she had as a child. So, often our lives revolve around ourselves and how we perceive life…it was interesting to see it from her point of view…through her eyes.
All I did was ask her questions about her childhood and her memory about her life as a young child on into adulthood and marriage.
I saw my mom as I had never seen her before. After hearing about the story of her childhood and how her mom and dad had an early divorce when she was just a young child particularly interested me. I had never heard from her before how she felt seeing the father she adored and her mother split apart. After all, these were the days when couples stuck together even when they were miserable.
It always takes “two to tango” I guess. Divorce is inevitable in many cases, although the after-math can be devastating to the children caught in the wake of it. My mom was one of those caught in this dilemma. All children are torn between both parents who birthed them. My mom loved both of them.
Her dad was a good man but when he remarried…my mom was sort of an outcast to her father’s new family. She did not feel ostracized by her father, but from the woman he married. They created a new family…and my mom was the step-child so to speak with her father’s new family.
This saddened my mother deeply. She, after all, adored her father in her own words. A parent always loves a child no matter what, but from a child’s eyes, they began to wonder if it was there fault. They begin to wonder if they were to blame for the divorce. My mother felt this pain too.
She saw her birth mother move from relationship to relationship, often at my mother’s expense. She was young and was often left alone with mother gone gallivanting with another romance to fill up the void in her being.
She loved her mother deeply…but being left alone and abandoned at times was not easy on her. All these experiences are hard for the child to understand and reconcile. My mom married at a young age to my father who is still alive today.
They always dreamed of having a big family, since my mom was the only child in her family. They had seven wonderful children, of which I am one.
I am very blessed to have been born in this family. To this day, when all of us get together we have a good time laughing and joking with each other.
I realized after taking a few hours with my mom how her life went. I realized that she is a very strong woman and how through all the problems and challenges of her life…she did really well.
Our entire family cherishes her deeply. We all realize she has been a wonderful role model for our lives. I realized that in spite of it all she sacrificed a lot for her family. I will always remember my mom and only hope to emulate her faith and love.
I will cherish this day to be able to “catch-up” with her on more information about her life and times.
D. Scott Arant