AuthorsDen.com   Join Free! | Login    
   Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    eBOOKS new!     BOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    EVENTS    VIDEOS    GOLD    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Alfred Garrotto, iNicholas Coe, iKaren Dunn, iDave Brooks, iTobias Roote, iGeorge Cunningham, iHelen Vandepeer, i

  Home > Relationships > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Shela Dean

· + Follow Me
· Contact Me
· Books
· Articles
· News
· 13 Titles
· 3 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Nov, 2009

Shela Dean, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.




Featured Book
The Peer Pressure Monster: How to Recognize it and Defeat it
by Will Clark

Peer pressure is the greatest slayer of dreams and aspirations in all walks of life. It's especially destructive in work and school environments. This book exposes the mo..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members



How to Have Greater Emotional Intimacy
by Shela Dean   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Posted: Tuesday, February 23, 2010

  Print   Save    Follow    Share 

Recent articles by
Shela Dean

• 3 Reasons Why Keeping Score is Good for Your Relationship
• Relationship Advice That Starts With You
• Better Emotional Intimacy - 50 Ways to Love Your Lover
• Togetherness in Marriage: What Is It?
• Couples Communication: Constructive Criticism Seldom Is
• Differences Can Lead to Greater Intimacy
• Love: Mother Nature's Dirty Trick
           >> View all

Emotional intimacy is the foundation of a great relationship. Use this advice to learn how to improve your emotional intimacy, become a better partner, and improve your relationship.

Intimacy means being connected. Sexual intimacy is physical; emotional intimacy is connection of mind, heart and spirit. Great sex is a blast. If you've got it, count your lucky stars but it's not enough to sustain a relationship. For that, you need emotional intimacy and it's the death-by-a-thousand-cuts destruction of that fundamental requirement that is the downfall to many relationships. Great emotional intimacy is the most rewarding aspect of being a couple but to have it, you must pay attention to the basics:

Be 10,000% trustworthy. You will not share private thoughts or make yourself vulnerable to someone you don't trust. If you share an embarrassing moment or dream and your sweetheart makes fun or pours cold water on that dream, you'll think twice before opening up again. Nothing is more devastating than trusting the person you love and having that trust betrayed. Nothing is more conducive to emotional intimacy than knowing you are safe in sharing your innermost thoughts, wishes and dreams.

Don't remodel. If your sweetheart said, "Honey, you would be a better person if you morphed into my image of perfection so here's a list of things you should change," you're not likely to say, "Thanks! I'll get on that right away." Attempting to remodel your partner is tantamount to saying you're better. "Superiority" and "emotional intimacy" are mutually exclusive.

Respect differences. Differences make us interesting-but they don't make us right. I can't imagine that anyone loves beige and finds eggplant scrumptious, but am I justified in calling a beige-loving-eggplant-eater wrong? Of course not. Talk about your differences, debate your differences, but never make your sweetheart wrong for holding an opinion or point of view that differs from yours.  To do so is to say you're smarter than your partner. "Judgmental" and "emotional intimacy" are mutually exclusive.

Be nice. You're thinking, "Duh!" Fair enough. But it's worth the reminder that nice goes beyond holding the door, refilling your sweetheart's wine glass, not interrupting, and common courtesy. Being nice includes:

  • Looking for ways to make your sweetheart's day and life better.
  • Looking the other way during your partner's self-indulgently bad behavior
  • Stepping up to the plate when it's time for "the talk"
  • Being supportive
  • Being responsive to your partner's wishes, needs and desires
  • Showing your love in word and deed


In short, being nice means demonstrating that you cherish your sweetheart. "Inconsiderate" and "emotional intimacy" are mutually exclusive.

Know yourself. The more you know about yourself, the more you'll be able to change what's not working and the less likely you'll be to project your self-perception onto your partner. Examples:

  • If you bicker over every decision, big or small, perhaps it's not because your partner is argumentative, but because you are excessively competitive and need to make a change.
  • If you hear constant criticism, perhaps the problem is your self-esteem. If your sweetie says, "The rice is salty," and you hear, "You're a terrible cook," it's time to work on your self-perception instead of complaining that your sweetheart is critical.


"Blissful ignorance" and "emotional intimacy" are mutually exclusive.

Be generous and forgiving. Your sweetheart will hurt and disappoint you, sometimes thoughtlessly and sometimes only through the filter of your self-perception. The flip side is true , too. Be generous and be forgiving because you'll need the same when you screw up. "Unforgiving" and "emotional intimacy" are mutually exclusive.

The relationship crown jewel of emotional intimacy is achieved by laser-beam focus on being, doing, and saying those things that build and sustain it. Start today to have the emotional intimacy that is the hallmark of a truly great relationship.

Web Site: Relationship Advice - Frequent Foreplay Miles


Reader Reviews for "How to Have Greater Emotional Intimacy"


Want to review or comment on this article?
Click here to login!


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!


Reviewed by Melody Whitaker
I enjoyed your article so much that I plan to share it with my husband. I was nodding my head in agreement and smiling as I was reading your piece.
Popular Relationships Articles
  1. Why Jimmy Fallon Lost Nicole Kidman
  2. Dr. Romance asks: Are you addicted to your
  3. George Raft Helps I Love Lucy's Lucille Ba
  4. How to Grow Old Together
  5. The Good Boss and the Bad Boss: Motivation
  6. Do You Understand Emotional Intelligence?
  7. If You Tell The Truth, You Don’t Have To R
  8. How Does He Put Up With Me?
  9. Dear Dr. Romance: I recently discovered nu
  10. Are You Sex-Starved?

The World of the Narcissist by Sam Vaknin

A book-length psychodynamic study of pathological narcissism, relationships with abusive narcissists, and the Narcissistic Personality Disorder, using a new vocabulary. ..  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Oprah In Her Words Our American Princess by Tuchy (Carl) Palmieri

Oprah's words bring inspiration and help to many people. Tuchy adds suggested affirmations and actions and you have a powerful workbook that can become life altering and healing. T..  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.