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Mark M Lichterman

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Books by Mark M Lichterman
Rodney Dangerfield
By Mark M Lichterman
Last edited: Tuesday, April 05, 2011
Posted: Friday, October 15, 2010



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Recent articles by
Mark M Lichterman

• A Jewish Boycott
• Betrayal in Benghazi
• Did You Know?
• The 2000 Year Old Man
• Social Security History
• Lost C. Burnett Skit
• THE CANDY BOMBER
           >> View all 395
I was making love to this girl and she started crying I said, 'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?' She said, 'No, I hate myself now.'




  Why we miss Rodney Dangerfield...........

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose.  Last night she used me to time an egg.

It's tough to stay married.  My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.

A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home!

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service.

If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying I said, 'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?' She said, 'No, I hate myself now.'

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off.

I knew a girl so ugly... They use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.

I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, 'Why?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.

I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night.


My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with.

 

Web Site mmlichterman.com
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Reviewed by m j hollingshead

he was one of a kind,

Reviewed by Marion Dollar
There was only one of him and very few who flatter him by imitating him.It takes talent to deliver the one liner effectively.No one did it better than Rodney. I always liked the one, "My wife wanted to have sex in the car - wanted me to drive."
Reviewed by Kathleen McDonald
Great ones. I always liked him,

hug
Kathy
Reviewed by Marcia Miller-Twiford
He is missed. Thank you for these one-liners Mark. He was the master at them.
Reviewed by Patrick Granfors
He always cracked me up. Patrick
Reviewed by Rose Rideout
I am proud of myself this morning Markie, imagine breakfast and entertainment. Big smiles.

You're #1 Newfie Friend Hugs XOXOXO, Rose
Reviewed by John Martin
Indeed, Mark...One of the great ones!
Reviewed by Elizabeth Parker
Ah- Rodney Dangerfield. He was awesome. Love watching his movies. Awesome post. Got a lot of laughs out of this one!

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