Clinton may have been right about the vast conservative conspiracy.
When Bill Clinton was embroiled in the Whitewater investigation and the Monica Lewinsky scandal, he often blamed the vast conservative conspiracy for his dilemma. Most people didn’t pay much attention to him. After all, he’d lied about having oral sex with Monica. Why should we believe Slick Willie about anything? Later the American people rejected Clinton’s vice president and chose a “moderate” Republican governor from Texas (Well, not exactly). Bush did lose the popular vote by over 500,000 votes and some say he didn’t win in Florida either. But when the Supreme Court says you’re in, you’re in. Somehow that doesn’t apply to the president when he and Congress pass major health care legislation and Missouri and several other states decide to nullify. And ninety years of precedent don’t mean anything either when Scalia and crew decide they’re going to give Corporations the same first amendment rights as ordinary voters. Republicans are now outspending Democrats 7-1. So then, was Clinton right? With Rupert Murdoch buying out the WALLSTREET JOURNAL and going for a takeover of THE NEW YORK TIMES it would appear so. Here’s the evidence:
1. The First Amendment. Conservatives now insist it doesn’t mean what we always thought it did. The words “Separation of church and state” are not in the first amendment, despite the Establishment Clause and despite the fact that thirty percent of the signers of the Declaration of Independence were Free Masons, whose principal tenet was separation of church and state and despite the fact that Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin were deists and George Washington, himself was a Freemason. Conservatives never give up, however, so don’t put it past them. They managed to muddle the Second Amendment even more than it originally was, and now democrats have just about given up on gun regulation. You know 280 million guns, almost one for every American won’t be enough.
2. Checks and balances. Congress is supposed to check the president. It can pass a law over his veto with two-thirds of the vote. The Supreme Court can declare a law unconstitutional. Unfortunately we now have politicians rather than judges on the court, which jeopardizes checks and balances. We also had one party in control of the presidency, Congress, and the court, and they were in lock step. One of these times we’re going to elect a theocrat (they don’t believe in democracy) like Sarah Palin, and she’s going to refuse to leave office at the end of her term.
3. Carbon based fuels do not cause climate change. So say like three percent of climate scientists. Cap and trade seems to be dead. Looks like we’re going to sit here and wait for the water to start rising. Conservatives also insist that we’ll never find enough alternative fuels to meet all our needs. Electric cars, fuel cells (There’s a guy who’s invented one of these and has sold it to several large companies), algae, methane. Those are just a few. Put them all together and we’ve got a good start. Solar energy will also become more prolific and less expensive with a little help from the feds and entrepreneurs. Scientist also managed to fix the ozone layer and lessen the impact of acid rain, so it’s not true that they’re always wrong about the climate.
4. Guns: Some states are now resisting background checks at gun shows. We need to get a picture of these lawmakers for the next time some nut decides to walk into a MacDonald’s and turn his assault rifle on men, women, and little kids. There are 30,000 gun deaths from homicide, suicide, and accidents every year in the United States and politicians use this as a wedge issue. Shame on them.
5. Lack of civility. Rush Limbaugh started this, bragging about the passion he brings to the game. Rush Limbaugh went on the air after he lost his hearing without being able to hear what he was saying. Nobody noticed the difference. He also called Jimmy Carter a hemorrhoid when Carter called the Tea Party members racists. Limbaugh is not fit to touch Carter’s toe nail clippings. And now we have tea party members spitting on black congressmen and sending congresswomen used condoms. And this is passion?
6. Propaganda. Fox News calls itself “the fair and balanced” network.
Somebody must have given these people the Cliff Notes for 1984 because lately they’ve been saying “black is white,” “good is bad,” “ugly is beautiful,” and “dumb is smart.”
7. Conservative “Think” Tanks. Some of them advocate bankrupting the country so we can start all over again. It’s all in Thomas Frank’s THE WRECKING CREW. Several are run by the illustrious Tim LaHaye, the same Tim LaHaye with the mega blockbusters about The Rapture. He believes we’re in the end times, and that the world is only 6,000 years old. Several of his buddies are trying to make it happen sooner.
8. Conservatives love this Goldwater quote: “Extremism in defense of liberty is no vice, and moderation in the pursuit of justice is not virtue.” In others words, the end justifies the means. And now they’re all trying to prove it. But whose justice are we talking about and whose liberty? Mexican-American citizens seem to be fair game as well as homosexuals.
9. White Supremacy. According to the NAACP, five out of six Tea Party organizations have ties to white supremacists. Futurists predict that by the year 2050, whites will be a minority in the United States. And there’s the rub, folks. Rich white people don’t want to give up their exalted status.
10. Corporations interference in politics. Until lately they’ve given pretty much equally to both parties, but the CEO of Intel and several others have been critical of Obama’s new financial regulations, saying they don’t know what to expect next. One of them even said he had no responsibility other than to his stockholders. For years conservatives have been complaining that too many college professors are liberals. Are they finally making inroads in the business schools? Do they actually teach that a CEO has no other obligation than to his stockholders?
11. Anti-Unions. Only something like 27% of Americans now belong to unions. And conservatives are trying to kill the rest, with recent attacks on teachers and nurses. Some businesses are also saying now that workers who have been laid off are no longer qualified for their old jobs. When they were let go, other employees were expected to do more. If you give a worm an inch . . . Excuse me, I’m having a Lewis Black moment here. WHAT THE (expletive deleted)! With all these good jobs gone, who is supposed to buy their products, China?
12. Anti-intellectualism. Sarah Palin just loves this one, but without intellectuals we have no technology, and without technology conservatism’s beloved business is dead. Stalin got rid of every intellectual he could find during one of his purges. Is this a coincidence?
13. Conservatives would run a serial killer if they thought he could be elected. Don’t some of these people remind you of Hitler’s Brown shirts?
Carl “Rocky” Paladino in New York, Sharon Angle (who looks like she might just get elected), Christine O’Donnell in Delaware, Rand Paul in Kentucky, who doesn’t think restaurants should have to serve blacks. Then there’s the guy who ran for the senate in Arizona. McCain warded him off by becoming even more conservative than he was, but he looked like he just might pull a gun on McCain at any moment. He makes Limbaugh look like a handsome man and I’ve always thought Limbaugh looked like an adult fetus.
14. Fake press, fake polls: Bush got caught paying a conservative columnist for promoting his educational program. Not that he would have had to pay him. Lately Republicans have been running push polls, where a robot asks questions aimed toward a conclusion. Slanted, in other words. Also some news stories lately sound awfully slanted toward the conservative point of view. They make Obama sound like Herbert Hoover, when in actuality he’s done pretty well, considering what he had to deal with. Does anyone seriously think the Republicans wouldn’t have passed a stimulus bill if it had been their idea? Actually it was. Timothy Geitner is a Wall Street wunderkind.
15. Dirty Tricks. James O’Keefe shows up at an ACORN office wearing his grandmother’s fur coat and brings down the organization. Andrew Breitbart defames Shirley Sherrod, whose father was murdered by a Georgia cracker.
The only comparable democrat move was when an activist dumped 2,000 pennies in Tom Emmer’s lap because he didn’t think small business owners (mainly bars and restaurants) should have to pay minimum wages.
If the Conservative party (might as well call a spade a spade) takes over the house in November, we’re in for more gridlock. But that’s the idea. They want Obama to look as bad and inept as possible. If the economy takes another downturn there will be no extension of unemployment benefits. There will be no stimulus or jobs programs. Conservatives have painted themselves into a corner once again. No tax is a good tax. No government program is a good program. No union is a good union. All environmental protection plans are destructive. Perhaps the best reason to vote democratic is that John Boehner won’t be the next Speaker of the House. We might as well have kept Gingrich (Who’s suddenly been rehabilitated and thinks he’s qualified to run for president).
Dave Schwinghammer's published novel, SOLDIER'S GAP, is available at Amazon.com.