I Like Dreaming.
edited: Friday, November 05, 2010
By Laura Lee Fall
Rated "PG" by the Author.
Posted: Thursday, November 04, 2010
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Of happily ever after and defiantly a magical world!
I had always been a dreamer and actually my whole life as my mother (Grandma) use to say, “Laura get your head out of the clouds!
However, I firmly believed in fairy tale land and yes the happily ever after or honestly just growing old with the one you love .
Although my yearning for that magical world would never exists and my dreams simply vanished as I discovered prince charming was no where to be found but only this person above me swinging his fist of fury .
I would go a lifetime and with every beating I took, still deep in my heart felt that dreams can come true in the end and yes heroes do save the day.
However, my younger sister Sherry that was more reality world would always tell me ,“Laura wake up and smell the coffee ,life is not make believe that’s only in books!
Others told me often that I lived in a fantasy world!
Which sure seemed better then the real one .
However, every time my sister was at my bedside in the hospital after a beating or talking to the cops after another horrible incident she would come to me and in tears say, “Keep praying for that knight in shining armor sis!
Tears rolled down her face as I felt bad for her actually to always have to witness her older sister with such a messed up life ,but glad my little sister had a good one and a hero to as he was in the Army and a remarkable fellow indeed.
I recall this one time as I was lying on that cold table and in much embarrassment.
Tears rolled as I turned over and looked at the female detective and I said, ‘I know one day my prince charming will come to save me from all this misery“.
In all honesty those were exactly my words November 27th 2007 as my children’s father broke the restraining order and forced himself into the apartment and then onto me .
A day just added to the many that I have faced the hard way and so very wrong.
I once was asked, “Wow you actually dealt with all this or dramatizing?
Until I showed them adoption papers to divorce, a list of domestic violence charges, restraining order and my back covered in scars.
Of course they were at a loss for words as I added the final foreclosed notice on my once dream home that truly was washed away in 2006.
I remember their words remarking, “Its just unbelievable that one person encountered all this?
In truth yes as I showed them proof of their doubt and told them that a lie always catches up to you weather it be now or twenty years from now so why create more misery just tell it like it truly is.
Soon though my bubble burst of ever finding the hero nor to live happily ever after.
When my oldest son had been put to the wall by his throat and of course I got into the middle begging, pleading ,’Please don’t’ hit my baby just hit me if anything!
My son screamed, “No ma !
After much confusion again as I cried telling my child there just has to be a hero and he said, “Ma please stop ok, life’s real not some fantasy world, gosh you sound insane!
I took his hand and said, “Oh but Herbie it must exist so that the knight in shining armor comes and pushes him around for once like he bullies us!
When my son said, “Oh ma, get real, you are stuck in a make believe world and sorry I do not want to hurt you more, but in reality that will never happen!
I became hysterical and cried saying “Yes Herbie dreams do come true ”, as he yelled, “Wrong ma not for people like us!
I remember I just lost it and told him just go to your room as I became crushed at finding out the truth and that all those hard years I honestly dreamed that a better life and world would suddenly appear and take all the pain and sorrow away.
Or for just once the true hero kneeling before me and wiping my tears off my battered face saying, “It’s over Laura!
At that moment I sure come to realize it was only a dream and a magical world that I wanted so much to become reality as this kind of life was not the way it should be for anyone in all honesty.
However I did get a firm grip on my real life and sorry to say far from a fairy tale nor a magical world as it was not even close to special.
I come to discover that this is what the man above must have wanted or why would it exists.
Furthermore, for some strange reason it truly was not meant to be for the hero to ever walk through my door and sweep me off my feet and saves me from ruin!
Since that is a fairy tale and not happily ever after in my book.
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