I have now written many words to tell one just how truly sorry I am that I drove them away. Though as the days now pass I am starting to realize there are just some things in life unforgiving I guess and only wish that loose lips did not sink ships.

However, I throughout my life had seemed to carry a chip on my shoulder and of course since my real father never gave a care and then to have your own mother at one time slam doors in your face saying, “What a mistake you were!

I could literally go on and on about my difficult life as many have seen their down falls I imagine that is just the way the cookie crumbles sad to say.

However, I do not want it to be this way and silence between as I should have bit my tongue and not acted coldly towards a friend I wanted so.

I have learned through life that sometimes people can say things out of hurt , fear or anger and in the wrong way .

Therefore, living the life that I have the soft side was always difficult to come out or express most times

Given the fact that once I always gave my heart it just became broken in the long run and who does like to suffer constantly .

I was at that point now and became more defensive because of never shown true warmth and compassion .

My life just remained rough from the start .

Since your own biological parents can hurt you your whole life what else really is there .

Although thank god for my grandparents as they saved me more pain.



Suddenly though my cold scorned heart would completely melt as becoming a mother changed my whole attitude and world.

Yes sometimes the guard can go up after living a never ending road of heartache and constant betrayal from those you least expected. .

When your own mouth can suddenly become your worst enemy at that point.

Luckily now though most of the rough edges smoothed completely and my precious granddaughter shined the rest of the way for life as her little sister will soon join in a few weeks .

Furthermore, I am human and entitled to make a mistake but make more then one that’s actually kissing the evil snake.

Therefore, I must try a final time and only wish and hope things turn out differently as I say with all my warmest of heart and sincere soul that I am so very sorry and cannot say it enough.

Furthermore, “Please hear my cry of a reply from a friend as this must come to an end”

I cannot write it daily, and shout it loud enough .Lord knows I would though and not think twice of who thought what of me or that this is silly and perhaps stupid.

Since my friend mattered most.

Sticks ,stones and names, but the loss of friendship does hurt as it breaks your heart!