Looking at life through my “mother’s eyes”
In a few weeks, the seventh anniversary of my mother leaving this world will come, a sad marker for me and my family though followed two days later is the seventh birthday of my oldest granddaughter. A perfectly timed blessing who arrived in this world at a time and reminded me that the cycle of life is unending, and as I watch her grow through her years joy overcomes the passing with grace of this child in remembrance of a lady very much loved.
Over the last many months of this year, at times when I look into the mirror I can see those crystal blue eyes looking back through my own. My own eyes are blue, but not the crystal sky blue she was blessed with, as was my sister and brother. I never saw myself as a reflection of my mom yet have overwhelmingly felt that reflection in how I chose to act and react to events in my own life. The voice, which would say, “Now is not the time,” “It is not your place” and “Love will heal the wounds.” In those times, my own reaction would change and in a flash in my mind’s eye, I could see her approval or shake her head – and say, “you will learn!”
The first time I saw my own eyes being sky blue, I thought, “Oh god, I really am turning into my mother!” or maybe hallucinating now. Connecting to her has never been an issue when the time arose during the years since she left our world; she has always been a close watcher of those who remain. The difference now is the feeling and knowing of a continual presence easily reached, and seeing life through my mother’s eyes. Prompting me, too reach for a positive when the day seemingly is negative. Reaching out, without expectations of another reaching back and knowing that balance is not created from the physical but from the energy connecting balance between the physical and your spiritual being.
This all started much like a gaming event between us over two years ago, when I took a part time job much like she had done for many years, hearing her reactions too circumstances which would arise in the job and either her or I saying “wait a minute, that does not work!”. Still yet holding a distance beyond the feeling and sensing of a responsive energy. Will this continue to be a part of my life – I hold no expectations for the future responses, though a belief as I continue my life – throughout the good times, bad times and times when mom has the knowledge the feeling can return with acceptance and again I will see life “through my mother’s eyes.” Godspeed Mom, I honor you now as I honored you then! With the knowledge of the universe, you are and always were an angel with me.