Join (Free!) | Login  

     Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
   Services MarketPlace (Free to post!)
Where Authors and Readers come together!


Featured Authors:  Gary Caplan, iWambui Bahati, iDouglas Skopp, iJanet Caldwell, iBino Pires, iAl Moe, iDelma Luben, i

  Home > Self-Help > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Donna Zajonc, PCC

· Become a Fan
· Contact me
· Books
· Articles
· 5 Titles
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
Member Since: Dec, 2010

Donna Zajonc, PCC, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.

Featured Book
666:Mark of the Beast
by Will Clark

In this sequel to, America 20XX: The New World Order, the battle between American patriots and Islamic jihadists rages. These battles escalate to world order, even into t..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Featured Book
A Golden Fuchsia-Laden Girl (Hardcover)
by Richard Rydon

Collected poems of Richard Rydon..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

   Recent articles by
Donna Zajonc, PCC

Learning from 2011 Chaos is the New Constant
Enhancing Employee Engagement with The Power of TED
Turning Inventing into Innovation
           >> View all

Shifting Out of the Drama Triangle Victim vs Creator Mindsets
By Donna Zajonc, PCC   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Thursday, December 30, 2010
Posted: Thursday, December 30, 2010

Share    Print   Save    Become a Fan

The fundamental difference between the drama triangle victim mindset and the empowerment dynamic creator/innovator mindset is where they place their attention.



In one of my recent speaking engagements I told the story of two young twin brothers who walked into a barn with their grandfather. One boy complained about the foul smelling manure and ran out of the barn while yelling about getting manure on his shoes. The other boy raced through the barn with excitement and shouted to his grandfather, "With all this manure, there must be a pony somewhere!"

The first boy saw himself as a victim of the manure and smell. The second boy saw the manure and linked it to greater possibilities. Which boy do you identify with?

Do you constantly complain about life's bumps, or do you see challenging issues as a way to innovate and create new possibilities? Tough times magnify our view of situations. If we see difficult issues through the eyes of a victim we might say: "The budget has been slashed so there's no way we can accomplish our goals" or "my boss is a tyrant" or "our products are out of date" or "our citizens won't approve that idea."

The victim mentality sucks the life out of innovative energy and has an excuse for every situation. Victims are addicted to the drama triangle and complaining. They spread negative energy and want others to take on the same victim mentality that they are attached to.

The creator/innovator, on the other hand, clarifies what they want and goes after that outcome. (Where's the pony and how do we find it among the manure?) Not brought down by the situation, they ask themselves, "What do I want and what actions are mine to take to create that vision?"

The fundamental difference between the victim mindset and the creator/innovator mindset is where they place their attention. For victims the focus is on what they don't want. Problems constantly preoccupy their lives and they fear the loss of control or loss of purpose.

Creators place their focus on what they do want. They keep their eyes on what they want rather than focusing on setbacks or obstacles. Often it is two steps forward and sometimes one step back. With each step the creator gets closer to and clearer about what they most want.

David Emerald's book, The Power of TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic) explains the difference between victim and creator mindset better than anyone I know. Okay, many of you know that David is my husband and I AM biased! It is also very fulfilling to hear the stories that David receives after people read his book. The shift in identify and way of thinking is truly life-changing.

It is no secret that now, more than ever, people feel victimized by circumstances. They feel victimized by the economy, not having enough time, circumstances like an illness, toxic politics, their bad childhood or a boss who persecutes them. On and on and on.

The creator mindset sees the manure and looks for positive news behind the initial failure. In fact, failure becomes an opportunity to grow and learn for the creator/innovator. They view every situation as an opportunity to adjust, re-evaluate, learn, grow and innovate.

Michael Maddock, founding partner of his Chicago-based branding and marketing company says this about a creator; "Creators see the obstacles as springboards for new thinking, not as an excuse to throw up their hands and give up."

People who see themselves as victims are rarely asked to rise to new heights in their organization. Complaining and negative energy get old fast and most successful leaders have looked in the mirror and shifted their mindset to that of a creator and innovator.

Victims cannot innovate! The only thing victims create is more victimhood and more complaining and more misery for those around them.

If you feel twinges of victim feelings, begin making the shift to a creator and innovator by asking: "What's the outcome I want here?" Focusing on what you want will begin the shift from victim to creator. Now the conversation has an opportunity to shift from complaints and problems to a clear destination. When you begin to do this, others will ask you to join their conversation and share your gifts with them.

This is a powerful shift, but no one can make this shift for you. Your boss or spouse can point the way or make suggestions to you. Reading books can give you a few tips. The fact is, only you can do the heavy lifting and shift the lens in which you view the world.

It's your choice.



Web Site: The Power of TED*

Want to review or comment on this article?
Click here to login!

Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!

M.E.S.H.: How to Have Mental, Emotional, Spiritual Health for Life by Mel Menker

Everyone experiences mental, emotional, and/or spiritual traumas in life. It's not a matter of "if" such situations will touch us but "when." If we look over the course of our li..  
Featured BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

The Complete James Bond Lifestyle Seminar by Paul Kyriazi

The paper book is sold out. The 2012 updated version is on Kindle, Nook, Kobo and iTunes...  
Featured BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us

Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.