About ten years ago, I saw a disturbing national survey in the newspaper, concerning children and their parents. After I read this short piece, I was astonished at the numbers. The question was asked of parents of all ages. The question was;
"If you could do it over again...would you have kids?
I thought at the time, that the answer would be about 30% of parents who regret having kids, and to my amazement, the number was 72% of those taking the survey, would never have kids again, if they had to do it all over again! Amazing!
From: Teen Suicide.us; When it comes to teen suicide, the statistics make it clear that attempted suicide is a big deal as it relates to the youth. Additionally, suicide is the leading cause of death for teenagers...it is the 3rd leading cause. Teen suicides are a call for help!
I'm not a child-psychologist; a teacher; or a social worker...but, I'm just an ordinary fellow with an opinion and a little experience to go with it. I think when kids enter school for the first time...the teachers and school administrator's are already doomed, because, in many cases, they have to deal with kids, who were not wanted by their parents in the first place. How many ways can you abuse a child? Why is the drug and alcohol problem still persistant among teens?
For twenty years, I was married to a social worker, who worked for the state of New Mexico, and the reader would not believe the stories of how many different ways rotten and irresponsible parents can abuse their children...too numerous to list here.
But, she told me of one case that was unbelieveable, in which the police and social workers found a new-born baby thrown in a dumpster on a cold winter day! It was snowing that day, and the social workers named the child 'Snowflake.' Just another case in the life of the social worker...unfortunetly, there are millions of rotten and irresponsible parents out there. There are thousands and millions of kids in foster homes today because of rotten parents. There are millions of parents who should have never had kids in the first place!
I know from experience, because I come from a family of ten kids...five boys and five girls...and I don't think any of us were wanted by my evil father. As us kids got older, we talked about why my father was so evil and so unloving. I think we found the answer. We kids could only guess at the answer, but we all agreed on the answer. My mother and father were from the old school, where the mother stays at home and raises the kids, and the father goes out and works in the work place. In the 50 years of marriage, my mother has never worked outside the home...and that's the way my father wanted it. Why?
Because of jealously on my father's part. He didn't want other men eye-balling my mother, and he didn't want my mother around other men. So, how could my father keep my mother at home for years? To get her pregnant year after year, so she HAD to stay home taking care of the endless children that would arrive over a 25 year period! My father never participated in any event of the children...for example...graduation from high school...he never attended any of our graduations. This was an evil man...and all of us kids were there for a purpose...to keep my mother home and away from other men!
When my mother was 66 years of age, she divorced my father, who was 70 at the time. Of all the kids in my family, I was the only one, who showed up for the hearing in front of Judge Kass. This shows you the disrespect my brothers and sisters had for my parents. My mother told me twice before the hearing, that if this divorce didn't go through for some reason...she would poison my father! I told this to Judge Kass, and she approved the divorce right away. My evil father would die alone at the age of 81.
So, I think the problems in the schools is not a school or teacher problem...it's a parents problem...rotten irresponsible parents who never should have been parents in the first place.
I think another reason for the substance abuse problems in the school in 2011, is because of pressure from the parents. The pressure on the kids to be something they don't want to be.
When I was about 14 years old, I went down the street to ask a friend of mine, if he wanted to come out in the street and throw the football around. What I saw after I knocked on the front door, was incredible. My friend Don was a big kid about 6 feet tall and about 175 pounds. As I waited a couple of seconds at the front door...all of a sudden I saw Don's father smash into the closet doors across the hall from the front door...there was a fist fight going on betwee Don and his father! I never went back to that house again!
Pressure from the parents...this pressure from the parents...causes anguish for the kids...and you guessed it...substance abuse...kids just want to get away...
There has to be a reason for this substance abuse to continue in the schools and I think this is one of many reasons...the expectations and demands of the parents! There is not much a teacher can do about a rotten kid, who comes from rotten parents, etc.
Don had told me that his father was a career Army person and had spent a few years in the Pentagon, etc. Don's father wanted Don to follow in his footsteps and be in the Army...in which Don didn't want to be in the military. There were problems with Don's father from the beginning. Pressure contlnued to build as Don grew older. As it turned out. Don joined the Army...went AWOL...and did time in jail. His life was ruined at a young age because of his father!
In another incident, I was in the Air Force at about the age of 22. I had a friend name Ed, who invited me to spend a couple of days of vacation in Sholo, Arizone, which is a beautiful place. He told me on the drive over there, that he was getting pressure from both sides of his family. His father's side were all lawyers and he didn't want to become a lawyer. And, his mother's side were in the lumber business, and she wanted him to join the family business after he was discharged. He didn't want to be in the lumber business, either. Ed wanted to become a biologist with the Forest Service and spend time outdoors. (what's wrong with that?)
I never knew the outcome of this story, because we both got discharged from the service, and went our seperate ways.
One of the best movies I've ever seen, was Dead Poets Society, which was set in the 1950's when everyone was a clone of each other. We all looked like penguins. The teacher taught his students to be indepandent thinkers, of which the school administration frowned at, and the teacher was fired from one job after the other. In the movie, the father, who was a doctor, wanted his son to follow in his footsteps and become a doctor, too.
There was pressure right away, because the son didn't want to become a doctor...but an actor, which his father thought was a foolish profession. This pressure on the son went on for years, and one day the doctor and his wife, were sitting at the dining table having breakfast...when they heard a shot come from upstair. They both quickly ran upstairs and opened the bedroom door of the their son, and found him lying on the floor shot to death! The son shot himself...
Pressure from parents and families comes in all colors and different levels of society. Everyone in America has heard of the Kennedy family. All of them graduated from the Harvard Law School. But, John-John, the son of President John Kennedy (who got assasinated) didn't want to go to Harvard Law School, which his family wanted. Instead, he graduated from Brown University, another Ivy League school. (what's wrong with that?}
Therefore, parents and families are the source of this pressure on kids growing up...and there is nothing the school administrators/teachers can do about it. The problems with substance abuse continues in 2011...Kids are either unwanted, as in my case...or there is tremendous pressure by the parents and families on the kids growing up.
Albuquerque, New Mexico is a city with about 500,000 in population, and has about 14 high schools in the district. This story (that follows) is about La Cueva High School, which I would say ranks high in the state academically. In 1963, I graduated from Sandia High School, which is only about three miles away, and was the biggest high school in the state (at the time) with more than 3,000 students. My graduating class was more than 500 students. I know of no drug problems at the school at that time.
The following newspaper article was written by Hailey Heinz, a staff writer for the Albuquerque Journal, and the piece was published on March 1, 2011. The title reads;
"La Cueva Considers Random Drug Tests" The sub-title reads; "Extracurricular Activities Targeted" The article reads;
"Random drug testing for La Cueva High School students in extracurricular activities might be on the agenda next year as part of a plan persented to the school board's policy committee.
Albuquerque Public Schools Superintendent Winston Brooks placed La Cueva's athletic department on probation in November after football players were caught drinking on a bus ride home from Las Cruces. Brooks directed La Cueva Principal Todd Fesch to develop a plan for addressing drug and alcohol use at the school.
The drug testing aspect of the policy is far from a sure thing. No details have been decided, and the possibility will be studied in the coming months for possible adoption in the fall. The APS board would have to approve a policy before then to allow for the testing.
'No one's saying we're going to do drug testing tomorrow,' board president Martin Esquivel said at the meeting. But, a few measures in the plan do not require board approval and are already in effect, including a new set of travel policies that was rolled out at La Cueva last week.
'We're going to tighten the scriws with regard to transportation and supervision,' Resch told the board. The travel policies require at least one chaperon for every 10 students and require them to sit throughout the bus for better supervision. Chaperons are also required to search all student pockets and baggage, including purses and other small bags, before the students can board a bus.
Resch said food and water bottles will be provided to students rather than letting them bring their own, since some members of the football team had water bottles filled with clear alcohol on the November bus ride.
In addition to placing La Cuava on probation, Brooks also transferred hard football coach Fred Romero and assistant coach Mike Tixier from La Cueva to local middle schools as PE teachers and penalized both of them with 11 days on unpaid leave. They were banned from coaching 'for the forseeable future,' but Brooks has said he may be flexible about defining that time frame.
Brooks met with Romero and Tixier last week to discuss the possibility of revising their punishments, but no decision was reached at the meeting. However, La Cueva's head coaching job was posted on the APS website last week and the school is accepting applications for the job.
Although La Cueva would initially be the only school to adopt the improvement plan, Brooks said he hopes it becomes a template for other APS schools and possible other schools around the state.
'I think this is a tru examination of how you can turn lemons into lemonade,' Brooks said at the meeting. 'This was not a very good situation at the beginning, but I think it may end up being a fabulous thing for our students when are involved in athletics and activities throughout this school district.'
Random drug testing policies are not unprecendented in New Mexico. Gary Tripp, executive director of the New Mexico Activities Association attended Monday's meeting and told the board that about a dozen New Mexico school districts already have such policies. He cited Carlsbad, Clovis and Artesia as examples.
Resch told the board that the drug testing might help combat what he calls 'the culture of substance use in the La Cueva High School community.'
In addition to the November drinking allegations, three La Cueva volleyball players were suspended from the team for 45 days, beginning in late August, after they violated the district's policy. The school never released details. The school's top tennis player was also suspended in May after he was causht with marijuana.
La Cueva parents also formed a heroin committee after student Haley Paternoster overdosed fatally on heroin. Board member Lorenzo Garcia pressed Resch about whether anything has been done to address substance abuse for the non-athletes. Resch, who became principal at the start of the school year, said the school has added a substance abuse counselor, which it didn't have until this year. He said the school has also added an anonymous tip line for the students to report substance abuse, and has hosted several awareness events.
In addition to the possible drug testing, Resch said all students in activities will have to complete 'The Life of an Athelete' an online NMAA program about the dangers of alcohol related to the athletic performance.
Coaches and athletes' parents will also be required to complete the program. Administrators have already been required to complete it, and their certificates were turned in to Resch on Monday. All spring coaches and athletes as well as all sponsors and participants in other spring activities, will be required to complete 'Life as an Athelete' by March 7.
Outgoing board member Dolores Griego questioned the value of an online film in combating a problem as serious as substance abuse. 'I've seen the video, and it's wonderful, Griego said. 'But, drug use is an addiction and you don't get over it by watching a video. There's got to be some heavy interventions once a child has hooked up with drugs'"
END OF ARTICLE;
Same old broken record coming out of the schools. Lemonade made from lemons? This is the same old band-aid on the problems in the schools. Never-ending policies; baby-sitters for students; punishing the teachers/coaches; suspensions...yawn...yawn...and more yawn. The school officials are not addressing the deep-rooted problems with teen students in the schools today. You know what's wrong with school officials today...they think they know everything! Just because they're in education...they think they have all the answers, etc. This thinking is the same old tired band-aid from the Neanderthal era... policy on top of policy; suspension on top of suspension...all you you reading this can YAWN this one away...
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