AuthorsDen.com  Join | Login 

     Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!

Signed Bookstore | Authors | eBooks | Books | Stories | Articles | Poetry | Blogs | News | Events | Reviews | Videos | Success | Gold Members | Testimonials

Featured Authors: Paul Ulasien, iNicholas Coe, iD. Wayne Dworsky, iFrances Seymour, iKathy L Wheeler / Kae Elle Wheeler, iDouglas Skopp, iGisele Vincent-Page, i
  Home > Self-Help > Articles
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Shervin Hojat, Ph.D.

· Become a Fan
  Notify me of new titles
  added by this author.

· 277 titles
· 387 Reviews
· Share with Friends!
· Save to My Library
·
Member Since: Jul, 2009

   Sitemap
   Contact Author
   Read Reviews

Books
· Tend To Your Garden Within


Articles
· Does Practice Make Perfect?

· Beware of Iceberg

· Are You Seeking Freedom?

· What is the Benefit of Your Bad Habit?

· How Do you Numb Yourself?

· Dark Night of the Soul

· I Will Not Abandon You!

· Joy & Sorrow

· Taking Responsibility

· Facing Our Fear


Poetry
· Long Invisible Chains

· Escape From intimacy

· Father I Need You

· Listening to You

· Joy & Sorrow

· Mirror of You and Me

· Welcome Home

· GPS

· Longivity

· Expressing Deep Feelings

         More poetry...

Shervin Hojat, Ph.D., click here to update your web pages on AuthorsDen.

Turn Your Attention
By Shervin Hojat, Ph.D.
Last edited: Sunday, May 29, 2011
Posted: Sunday, May 29, 2011



Share    Print   Save  Become a Fan
Recent articles by
Shervin Hojat, Ph.D.

• Does Practice Make Perfect?
• Beware of Iceberg
• Are You Seeking Freedom?
• What is the Benefit of Your Bad Habit?
• How Do you Numb Yourself?
• Dark Night of the Soul
• I Will Not Abandon You!
           >> View all 137
Turn your attention toward what
you would like your current situation to turn into


 

 

We are all story tellers.  We tell our stories from our own perspectives.  Sometimes our stories can create empathy, sadness, anger or helplessness for ourselves and the listener.

 

I have met people who are passionate about their stories.  One story that comes up many times is when somebody has done someone harm and the one harmed does not wish to see that person any more.  Yet, the one who was harmed continuously talks about the person that they hate! 

 

Sometimes we are so entangled in our emotional issues and our suffering that we may not see the most obvious solution.  If we hate someone, why do we talk about them so much?  If we do not want to see someone at all, why would we place them front and center (mentally or emotionally) by continuously talking about them?  What is our outcome by talking about this person so much?

 

There may be many reasons for constantly talking about this person.  Maybe we are grieving the emotional hurt.  Maybe we are indirectly punishing our self, by not forgiving the other person (what is worse than remembering someone that you hate every minute of your life?).  Maybe we just want to tell our story to get sympathy for ourselves.  Maybe our story has defined who we are.  Maybe …

 

In any event, we do not know what the intention of the story teller is.  It is unproductive to guess their intention (they may not know either!).  In such a situation, sometimes a simple question, “What would you like this hatred to turn into?”, may shift the focus of the story to a desirable outcome.  A desirable statement of outcome can be, “I hate him and I choose to forgive him and to live my life with joy and peace.”

 

In the context of Tending to Your Garden Within, it is important not only to state what a current situation is (there are weeds in my garden within), but state what we choose/wish to turn the current situation into (a beautiful flower bed in my garden within).  The poem below conveys this concept further.

 

Turn Your Attention

 

Focusing on what has happened

may be a necessary part of our grieving and healing process.

 

Focusing for a long time

on our grief and hurt

may only reinforce what we are trying to move away from.

 

State and acknowledge what you

believe the truth of the situation is.

 

His/her action has hurt me.

 

Turn your attention toward what

you would like your current situation to turn into.

 

I forgive him/her and I choose to transform my hurt into

compassion, joy and insight.

 

Very simple and yet very powerful.

 

Copyright . 2011 by Shervin Hojat

Web Site Tend To Your Garden Within
f

Want to review or comment on this article?
Click here to login!


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!



Books by
Shervin Hojat, Ph.D.



Tend To Your Garden Within

Buy Options
Signed copy!
Amazon, Barnes & Noble, more..


Popular
Self-Help Articles
  1. Marlene Dietrich Teaches Ruth Gordon
  2. TALK IS CHEAP !
  3. Does Practice Make Perfect?
  4. Add Value, Become Rich!
  5. WHY...A FLY?
  6. The 5 Wealth Secrets That Made Bill Gates
  7. Courage Under Fire - Tips on Overcoming th
  8. Unwanted pregnancy…To abort or not?
  9. The Power of Mentorship
  10. WE CRY
  11. Recommend: The Courage to Heal
  12. Lucy Can Empower Freelancers
  13. Dealing with Criticism: Some Suggestions
  14. The Power of Dream!
  15. The Three Biggest Blocks to Your Success
  16. Chapter Excerpt : Journaling Through Pregn
  17. DEAR MR. PRESIDENT
  18. A Winning Mindset
  19. How to Create a Beautiful Sacred Home of Y
  20. CAVEAT EMPTOR!

You can also search authors by alphabetical listing: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z



Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen

© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.