Watching Myself--the Secret of Awakening
[thoughts from ~burning woman~ by Sha'Tara]
What does one do with the life one is in... the life one has been given, has received, has chosen, has inherited, has fallen into, has been born into for no apparent reason: what's it for?
Long ago, that was a serious question. Much of the Bible, a "modern" compilation of much older records, engages that question throughout. But biblical conclusions, though meant seriously at the time, are simply no longer applicable. So much has happened since those words were written, especially in the areas of astronomy and archeology. Nothing ever was as "simple" as the biblical narrators wanted their readers to believe. In order to create foundational myths, much was carefully expunged from earlier records of "man and God." Had the knowledge of history been readily available to people, say, 5000 years ago, none of the great religions of modern times would have ever been possible. Earthians would have evolved spiritually and mentally far beyond what they can muster up today. They would be star-farers today. But the "gods" had something else in mind for their creations, or clones, or inventions, i.e., their slaves. So technology was withdrawn and brain function was tampered with to create a species of easy, irrational, believers. If there was a global bumper sticker to put on the first tourist ship off of planet earth, it should read: "We'll Believe Anything--just make it Fun!"
But here we are, such as we are. No point crying over what was taken away. It wasn't all the gods' fault because the species made Esau's choice: stomach over inheritance. (Genesis 25:29 ff) And now it watches hockey as if it was a matter of life and death. I think, maybe, I'm amazed. Who'd have thought a self-styled "intelligence" could de-evolve so rapidly? That takes talent, but as I was saying...
We have this one life—that is, most people still believe they only have this one life—and however we got it, the question should be, if there was the question, "What do I do with this life?" We can see what happens when the question is not asked: Grand Inquisitors and Casino Jacks run amok and the planet is bled dry. But why is it not asked? Why be satisfied with just being, or with age-old lies that have only succeeded in making things worse, spiritually, morally, socially? I'll tell you why it isn't being asked: because it is a damning question that has too many answers, each one more troublesome than the one before. If we asked the question, it would be an admission that we have, in some way, actual responsibility for our seat on the bus. It would even mean we may have to vacate the seat so someone else more in need can sit down. A definitely troubling thought.
What's life for, then? Going back to some biblical enjoiners, for example, at the end of Ecclesiastes: "Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man." How about this one: "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." (Micah 6:8) With all that expansive and very expensive religion to remind all and sundry, surely these requirements should be on everyone's mind, on every lip and in every act. Obviously, that no longer works, if it ever did. And just as obviously what we have today of the opposite to the above is not working either. None of that is declaring what man's purpose is supposed to be. And if we don't know what our purpose is, then how can our life have any meaning? And you know what? Modern man's life has no meaning because it has no reality and that, because it has no future. The belief is, "Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die." And die, this pampered, spoiled, irrational society certainly will.
I find that sad, all the more because I know it's not only a choice between believing in some unknowable God or living a greedy, selfish, hedonistic dead-end life. What other choice is there? One can choose to awaken.
If you happen to lean towards the New Agey religion, "awakening" has a nice velvety feel to it. It smells of incense and carries panpipes elevator music replete with native-sounding chants and old Catholic hymns. If you choose, you can even be God. You get to attend a lot of expensive channeling meetings where you meet people who talk to God, people you should know since you are God, but you accept that the God they talk to is one you need to listen to. You can be a vegan too all the while contemplating your belly button. You can even write books, using a standard formula that says nothing new since before the ark landed on Mount Ararat.
It's a safe, do-nothing, risk-nothing adventure.
That's not what I mean.
Awakening is really waking up the mind and questioning the spirit. It's turning against (yes, against, I can't emphasize enough) absolutely everything you've been fed that comes from the Matrix. Awakening is the ultimate state of Satyagraha—what I translate as non-violent, non-cooperation. Everything becomes suspect. Nothing can be trusted to be what it claims to be. All is lie. All is out to get you. You develop a truly healthy paranoia that frees your mind and despite the seriousness of it, makes you laugh at the childish silliness of man's System.
I wrote "frees your mind" and that's the whole point. That translates as the toughest path of all because it demands that you watch yourself every moment as you interact with the Matrix and its slaves. Naturally you will ask why you should do this. Indeed, what is the point? None, until you understand the need to create for yourself—yourself alone!—a purpose. You must give your life a purpose that will direct you and "force" you to become that tool, that force, that becomes a thorn in the side of the Matrix and nothing it can do about it because it can't reach there to scratch. It cannot find you however its spies search high and low. They will look for you in mortgages and debts and you won't be there. They will scour romantic, family and special friend relationships and find nothing. They will look in organized groups that oppose the System but you won't be in those either. They will look in every church, every religious institution, however off-the-wall and still nothing. They will be sure you will be found running for office to bring your new ideas to the people and still nothing. They will look into every nook and cranny of social entertainment functions, from barbecues to cruises—nothing. They will look for your name on airline tickets to trap you when you disembark as a tourist in Beijing or Moscow and still nothing. They will look for you among those who publish books (for money and popularity, of course) certain that you will use that avenue to promote your ideas, and remain just as empty-handed. In desperation they will seek you among the poor, as some missionary or revolutionary activist attempting to bring some kind of justice there... and still nothing.
The truly awakened being is invisible to the Matrix, not because she doesn't exist, but because she is no longer spiritually and mentally connected to any of the Matrix' avenues.
And you will say that leads to a very lonely life. And I will tell you that I could not disagree more! To be purposefully alone in a world teeming with sheeple is not living a lonely life, quite the contrary. It's empowering, a place filled with heady ideas and possibilities the which you know to be real because you can travel the time-lines and you can "see" these ideas taking shape slowly, safely out of the reach of the popular media. You understand time, not as something that comes and goes to be lost forever, but as a recording of events. And you learn to plant your ideas in certain time-lines. "This," you reason, "given these parameters, could manifest in about 600 years," and you plant accordingly. You know the Matrix cannot go ferreting there, and if it did, it would not be able to destroy your seeds because they are not made of that which the Matrix can relate to.
But meanwhile? Meanwhile, you live a normal life. You function "normally" within the broader parameters of the Matrix systems. If you are observant you see needs all around you, in your own neighborhoods, and being reasonably intelligent and perhaps semi-skilled, you address those needs, calmly and effectively, by-passing System "help" organizations. You "remember" how people acted years ago, during the depression or during the pioneer days, how they helped each other. And that's what you do. The people you interact with in those few moments, these are your only friends and you're not with them long enough to get to know them too well or to give them a chance to betray you. You keep moving, forming no permanent relationships.
Servanthood in self-effacement: that's the simple secret of awakening.