In ‘medical–speak’ TLC means ‘tender loving care’.
I used to think that if the world was governed by women, then there would be more fairness, more compassion and no wars. How would any woman who had a family send anyone else’s son or daughter to war to be killed? Surely, they would do everything possible to negotiate rather than be any part of bloodshed.
But, once in power, or even on the steps of power, the norms, to maintain a country’s territorial rights and in recent years, fighting the (mainly) male terrorists, or for other spurious reasons, have to take over and the end result is the same, man or woman.
I ask the question, ‘If a genuinely motherly woman governed a country where many children live in abject poverty would the care of those children be a priority?
I rather think so.
‘Would the funds and outside aid be skimmed off to private pockets?’
I rather think not.
Not many women have either the will or the wish to govern and, should one be truly compassionate and have those priorities it is very likely, from history so far, that she would be quickly replaced, merely succumb and be ‘removed’.
The majority of women use their energy in their every day lives with nothing left to take on more wide-reaching roles. Everyone has a finite amount of energy or opportunity.
Many of the women, who are progressing up the ladders towards success, bring a steely coolness and efficiency but in the process the ‘mothering’ element is either being stifled in their quest for power and success, or has never been developed.
I think, as I listen and observe the women in government or the women in top management, that, on the whole, they exude something different from ‘motherliness’. They are efficient, dedicated, hard working - but hardly motherly.
There are exceptions to every rule. We had one wonderful politician who sadly died a year or two ago of brain cancer. She typified the kind we need; the kind the world needs. She had character, intelligence and dedication, but also love for the people she was working for. She worked with compassion and gained the respect and love of everyone, those involved and those who were mere spectators to the process. But, having successfully achieved the goal for which many men had strived and failed, she was taken from that job and never given any further prominent task. I think she was simply loved too much and that was thought to be ‘unsuitable’.
How wrong were those people who removed her from office!
‘Motherliness’ in the more mundane areas of work is being gradually eroded.
I once had a secretary who was a chatterer. I was ‘warned’ of this tendency by the manager of the secretaries who frowned on this, as being not only a waste of time but the sign of someone not getting on with the job in hand. Sure, in a pool of secretaries, all typing and answering the phones in the same room, this might have been a problem. She had a room of her own when she worked with me, so nobody else’s time or work was affected.
However, I soon realised that this lady was a wonderful communicator and a warm ‘motherly’ woman who genuinely cared about people and that the very quality which the management disapproved of could be a boon to my patients and in my work.
At my request, she would make any outpatient ( usually only one would be waiting at any one time) a cup of tea or coffee if they wished and I encouraged her to sit and chatter to them if they had to wait, to put them at their ease. Some of my patients had few or no friends. They regarded her as ‘a friend in a stressful environment’. Sometimes she would comfort people, and sometimes simply allay any fears about a psychiatric appointment, yet she was highly professional and did not become involved in either their problems or their lives. At their request, she would just ‘have a few words to the doctor (me) for them’ before the session.
To the management she was ‘wasting time’ but to me and to my patients she was the ideal secretary. Incidentally, she was never behind with her work as she was a very fast and accurate typist, and knew how I liked my work organised.
The qualities of ‘motherliness’ are special and the world needs women, in prominent places, in the everyday work place, and those who have influence, to have these qualities. It is a quality that comes from kindness within which cannot be faked.
So, I encourage all women, whatever their ability or position, to allow their ‘motherliness’ to be their priority, and by their own example, to influence their children to be kind.
Every act of kindness is like a tiny pebble being cast in a very big pond, it makes ripples. The more pebbles, the bigger the effect.
All can make a difference for good, whether large or small, whatever laws and rules the politicians of any country make.
Copyright©A Coatesworth 2011