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Tom Hyland

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Member Since: Feb, 2003

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Books
· The New Jerusalem - Chapters 1 - 5

· Bawlmer, Merlyn - Home of The Hons


Short Stories
· CHICKEN SCRATCHES ?

· DADDY ... ADDENDUM

· DADDY, WHAT DID YOU DO IN THE MILITARY?

· THREE LITTLE ... EDS !

· ALL MY CARS - PART 2

· ALL MY CARS

· AU-TO-MO-BILES

· BIG LUG CONTINUED !

· SLURPEES !

· THE BIG LUG !


Articles
· 9 / 11 : PRESS For TRUTH

· NEW WORDS WITH FRIENDS

· BEATING A DEAD HORSE ?

· IF I WON ... ?

· Delegate or Stagnate

· THE PARTY OF NO - PART DOS !

· sick - sicK - SICK !

· Is Life Just an Impulse ?

· BGE Sucks !

· THE END !


Poetry
· SHRIMPY

· OF ALL THE GIRLS I LOVED BEFORE ...

· ALL HALLOWS EVE

· HONEY, OUR VOWS MEANT NOTHING TO YOU ... BUT I DIDN'T KNOW

· CONTEMPLATING BAMBI’S NAVEL

· DANGLING PARTICIPLES ?

· BIG 5 0 !

· COURAGE

· AS FOR ME ...

· LIFE IS LIKE ... A BOOK

         More poetry...
News
· PATRICIA ANN ALLEN

· JERSEY DEVIL... aka KNAVE WUSS-A-LOT Update !

· JERSEY DEVIL HANGING IN THERE STILL !

· ED MATLACK IN HOSPITAL !

· ONE MILLION !

· ONLY 2,639 TO GO!

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Tom Hyland, click here to update your web pages on AuthorsDen.

POWER-SCOOTER
By Tom Hyland
Last edited: Tuesday, September 06, 2011
Posted: Sunday, September 04, 2011



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Recent articles by
Tom Hyland

• 9 / 11 : PRESS For TRUTH
• NEW WORDS WITH FRIENDS
• BEATING A DEAD HORSE ?
• IF I WON ... ?
• Delegate or Stagnate
• THE PARTY OF NO - PART DOS !
• sick - sicK - SICK !
           >> View all 365
CAUTION:

THE FOLLOWING IS A 'TOP-SECRET' PATENT PENDING CREATION !

NO ONE IS AUTHORIZED TO REPRODUCE, OR COPY, IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER, WITHOUT THE EXPRESS WRITTEN, AND SIGNED PERMISSION BY THE AUTHOR!

NOTE: Pic is courtesy of 'Knave Matchless Matlack - 'Sneak Extraordinaire' ...





‘POWER-SCOOTER’


© - Tom Hyland - 9/5/11 - LABOR DAY


Well 'Blabber-Mouth' Matlack ...

Now yew done gone n' spoiled my Sa-Prize for all at the party!

How ewe snuck into my secret spot n' took this Pic is amazing!
It's a great Pic ...

However, as per usual, yer assumed details are WRONG!

1. My Power-Scooter is NOT 'All Electric' - it is a HYBRID ...

Which I developed - it also works by Compressed Methane Pellets! These are produced from both solid and liquid excretions, which are conveyed through tubes, hidden in the driver's seat - then suctioned through a special hi-tech hose, back into the 'assumed' Camper behind. A patented 'Do-Do' Compressor uses Solar Power to convert both No. 1 and No. 2 into dehydrated Pellets, similar in size and shape to those employed in a Standard Pellet Stove.


2. Said pellets, which produce a purer, Hi-Octane 98.6 - are then reverse- suctioned back into the Super-Duper Micro-Chip Miniature Engine, directly under the seat. A simple Spark from a Platinum Tipped 'Glow Plug' is magnified immensely via an Electric Coil to approximately 100,000 Volts, thereby producing a conservative 500 Miles per Pound, at top Speeds of 67 MPH. This is an engineering Marvel, similar to a 'Modified' Tesla Engine.


3. Ergo, there is No Need to ever Stop for any 'Potty Calls' whatsoever!
The only necessity is Intake ... 'Three Squares a Day' with the accompanying subsequent, All-Natural Excretion process, Thricely also ... and VOILA!

Hi-Speed, Cost-Free, Transportation is possible, in a Perfected Manner!


4. There are many other Hi-Tech Advancements built into the innards of the 'assumed' Camper - but, they are still 'Top-Secret' right now ...
I could TELL yew, but then I'd have to KILL yew! Sorry ...


In Summary, I have already Arrived at the Party, LONG before ewe ever even git yer 'Ancient' RV engine to even START! BUMMER!

Drinkin' Beer - Havin 'Fun -
Dumpin' in Pat's '8-Seater' and waitin' to be WIPED by ... EWE!



Peace - CUZ ... PEACE! TK 'Inventor Extraordinaire' !!!


© - TKH.



  

f

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Reviewed by Patrick Granfors 9/10/2011
Man you should see the bill I got from the county sanitation district. Cuz p
Reviewed by John Martin 9/6/2011
I like it, Tom. Will my AARP supplement insurance cover the cost? If not, can you tell how to hot wire one of those things?

Books by
Tom Hyland



Bawlmer, Merlyn - Home of The Hons

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