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Tom Hyland

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Books by Tom Hyland
POWER-SCOOTER
By Tom Hyland
Last edited: Tuesday, September 06, 2011
Posted: Sunday, September 04, 2011



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Recent articles by
Tom Hyland

• GOOD PEOPLE vs. ARROGANT S.O.B's
• CONJUGATION OF VERBS
• RENT
• Fun With Some CON Words
• RACISM
• GOD BLESS THE @#%^ CORPORATIONS!
• BERRIES
           >> View all 375
CAUTION:

THE FOLLOWING IS A 'TOP-SECRET' PATENT PENDING CREATION !

NO ONE IS AUTHORIZED TO REPRODUCE, OR COPY, IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER, WITHOUT THE EXPRESS WRITTEN, AND SIGNED PERMISSION BY THE AUTHOR!

NOTE: Pic is courtesy of 'Knave Matchless Matlack - 'Sneak Extraordinaire' ...





‘POWER-SCOOTER’


© - Tom Hyland - 9/5/11 - LABOR DAY


Well 'Blabber-Mouth' Matlack ...

Now yew done gone n' spoiled my Sa-Prize for all at the party!

How ewe snuck into my secret spot n' took this Pic is amazing!
It's a great Pic ...

However, as per usual, yer assumed details are WRONG!

1. My Power-Scooter is NOT 'All Electric' - it is a HYBRID ...

Which I developed - it also works by Compressed Methane Pellets! These are produced from both solid and liquid excretions, which are conveyed through tubes, hidden in the driver's seat - then suctioned through a special hi-tech hose, back into the 'assumed' Camper behind. A patented 'Do-Do' Compressor uses Solar Power to convert both No. 1 and No. 2 into dehydrated Pellets, similar in size and shape to those employed in a Standard Pellet Stove.


2. Said pellets, which produce a purer, Hi-Octane 98.6 - are then reverse- suctioned back into the Super-Duper Micro-Chip Miniature Engine, directly under the seat. A simple Spark from a Platinum Tipped 'Glow Plug' is magnified immensely via an Electric Coil to approximately 100,000 Volts, thereby producing a conservative 500 Miles per Pound, at top Speeds of 67 MPH. This is an engineering Marvel, similar to a 'Modified' Tesla Engine.


3. Ergo, there is No Need to ever Stop for any 'Potty Calls' whatsoever!
The only necessity is Intake ... 'Three Squares a Day' with the accompanying subsequent, All-Natural Excretion process, Thricely also ... and VOILA!

Hi-Speed, Cost-Free, Transportation is possible, in a Perfected Manner!


4. There are many other Hi-Tech Advancements built into the innards of the 'assumed' Camper - but, they are still 'Top-Secret' right now ...
I could TELL yew, but then I'd have to KILL yew! Sorry ...


In Summary, I have already Arrived at the Party, LONG before ewe ever even git yer 'Ancient' RV engine to even START! BUMMER!

Drinkin' Beer - Havin 'Fun -
Dumpin' in Pat's '8-Seater' and waitin' to be WIPED by ... EWE!



Peace - CUZ ... PEACE! TK 'Inventor Extraordinaire' !!!


© - TKH.



  

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Reviewed by Patrick Granfors
Man you should see the bill I got from the county sanitation district. Cuz p
Reviewed by John Martin
I like it, Tom. Will my AARP supplement insurance cover the cost? If not, can you tell how to hot wire one of those things?

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