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Jerry Aragon Ph.D (Phunny humor Doctor)

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My 25 Most Important Articles of 356 Pieces
By Jerry Aragon Ph.D (Phunny humor Doctor)   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Wednesday, May 09, 2012
Posted: Monday, May 07, 2012

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I think every writer will agree with me, when I say that, every article that you give birth to, is your little baby, and your nurture it and give it special attention, etc.

I thought it would be fun, to list my most important articles, and the reasons why they are important to me.  These articles, are not listed in any order of importance, because they are all important to me.  By doing this, the reader will get a chance to see what kinds of topics I choose to write about. 

As of May, 2012, I have 356 articles in my portfolio, and each and every one is important to me, but the following list are the ones that stand out, and the reasons why they are so important to me. 

1)  We're All Going To Die Sooner or Later; IF I die...and that's a big IF...I don't want a stone on my grave site.  I want a parking meter that reads, "TIME EXPIRED"  But, seriously...I want to leave this earth, having accomplished many things with my life, and in this piece, I list some of the things I have done with my life, which have been important to me. 

2)  The Gift of Life; Become an Organ Donor;
Again...IF I Die...and that's a big IF...I want to do something on the way out to help others live a quality life, just like I have lived a quality life so far.  I don't want to be buried in a dusty hole someplace behind the VA hospital, and for my body to rot away and serves no purpose.  This is probably one of the best things I've done with my life...to help others on the way out.

3) Smoking Sucks!  How I Quit Smoking;
I quit smoking in 1970, when I was just 24 years old, and I have never touched tobacco products in over 40 years.  At the age of 67 in 2012, this is one of the best things I have ever done for myself, and for those around me, including my pet. 

4) Defending Myself With Good Writing;
On of the best things I have ever done for myself, is to complete three writing courses, and I did this when I was 43 years of age.  I went back to the books, to try to improve my writing skills, and that effort, has paid off for me, not only in writing articles, but in defending myself.  When a business tries to screw me, I take action in defending myself, by writing a one page letter to the Consumer Protection Agency at the Attorney General's office in Santa Fe, New Mexico.  Those writing courses taught me to be brief and to the point.  Over the last 20 years, I have won 14 out of 15 complaints against companies such as Microsoft; 1st National Bank; Comcast; and many others. 

5)I Know What It's Like To Go Hungry;
This piece took me seven years to write, although I tried to write it four or five times during that period, I was unable to write it.  It was during the worst time in my life, after losing six jobs in a little over a decade; being homeless at age 60; and with an attempted suicide, and being in the hospital for over 3 months.  It was too painful to write and go back in time, and that's why it took my so long to write the piece.  I finally wrote it in April, 2012.

6) The Ten Commandments of Good Health;
My health has always been my number one priority, for if you don't have your health, you can't have a quality of life, or much of anything else.  I do whatever I have to do to stay healthy...exercise; chiropractic; diet; lifestyle change and so forth.

7) Are You Afraid of Failure?
As a woodcarver for over 30 years, I have participated in over 40 arts and crafts shows all over the state of New Mexico.  During that long period of time, I have seen many talented artists and craftsman who do such wonderful work.  The only problem, is that many of them are afraid to go out in public and show and sell their work, because they are afraid of failure.  This is the story of just such a women, who did beautiful work, and finally got up the courage to get out there and show and sell her work, and she did wonderfully in her first show!  I was so proud of her! 

8) Getting and Keeping My Confidence;
I think one of the best qualities a person can is high self-confidence.  I've always had confidence in myself, and it has helped me to get a job and keep it.  Confidence to get through hard times and deal with medical issues.  I've always been a competitive person, and to do that, a person has to have high self confidence. 

9) Here's the Skinny On How I Lost 40 Pounds;
The discipline I got from quitting smoking, I used to lose 40 pounds, which took me about a year to do.  Excess weight just causes more health problem such as high blood pressure; diabetes; heart disease and other ailments.  This is one of the best things I've done for myself. 

10) Hooray For the Red, White and Blue;
I think freedom is the most important possession that every American can have.  Freedom of religion; speech and a way of life.  Can you imagine living in a country like Syria; Libia or anyplace in the Middle East or Asia?  Freedom is a big part of everyone's life here in America.

11) Learning To Give Praise 101 For Dummies;
The glass is either half full...or it's half empty!  You're either a negative person OR a positive person.  I consider myself a positive person, and I've never liked negative people around me.  They always talk about the things they CAN'T do, instead of the things they can do.  They are critical of others and bring stress and a bad attitude with them.  I like to be around positive people with a good attitude. That's what you'll find in this piece, that I wrote about this wonderful woman I met online.  She is so positive and full of praise...I wish the whole world was like her!

12) Constipation; Saying Hello To a Costly Enema;
I can't find the adjectives, that can how I feel about this article.  Unbeliveable; amazing; incredible;  This piece was written in the summer of 2009, and the piece quietly and without fanfare climbed the charts in hits/and views, and took the #1 spot or 356 articles.  I chose to get into writing, to help people, and this is one way to do it.  This is one of my success stories!  

13) Making a Difference In People's Lives By Writing;
This is another of my #1 articles, and it gives my great joy, because it is a writing-related piece, and that's what I do.  I think everyone wants to make a difference in some way in somebody's life around the world, and it can be done by writing and on the Internet. 

WORK IN PROGRESS...

MAY 11, 2012

14) How I Got Started in Humor;
This piece is special to me, because I've been in the humor business for over 50 years, and humor has been my life's calling.  In this piece, all of us kids at the Community Center, were taken to a picnic at the FOP Police grounds, and I nearly died on the bus home from the picnic that awful day. 

15) It's All About Making People Happy;
As a woodcarver for 30 years, I have participated in over 40 arts and crafts shows all over the state of New Mexico, and I have promoted six of my own.  During that time, I have seen so many and talented artists, craftsman and writers.  It's not about wood, clay, painting, glass, pottery, ceramic, leather, or words on a page...it's about making people happy. 

16) U.S. Congress:  The Best Little Whorehouse in Washington, D.C.;
Of the 356 article titles now on hand, this title is my favorite.  I stole the idea, from the old movie from the 1980's called The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, starring Dolly Parton and others.  I like to bash the Congress, and this is one way to do it. 

17) Some People Make Things So Complicated;
Baseball is a simple game...you throw the ball; you catch the ball; and you hit the ball with a bat.  What could be more simple than that?  It's amazing how some people can make things so complicated.  I've lived my entire life with the KISS principle Keep It Simple, STUPID.  Keep it simple, and a person will do better at everything.  Simplicity matters!

18) Halloween Party; The Two-Headed Monster;
This is another of my #1 articles, having been published the most time of any article on the Internet at over 40 websites.  Adults have to learn how to have fun, and what better place than a Halloween party at an elementary school.  On this night, happened to be one of the most fun nights for me ever.  The kids were all so funny, and so creative with their costumes and playfulness. 

19) I Know What It's Like To Be Homeless; 
I could have never imagined, that at the age of 60, I would be homeless, and standing in a soup line, after six job layoffs in over a little over a decade.  It makes you get your priorities in order.  And, everytime I was standing in that soupline, I was grateful for having a meal on the table and a roof over my head...and grateful to the people who do this kind of work. 

20)  Remembering Manuel...
This piece is so important to me, that I have a copy of the article over my work area in my home office.  In 2005, I was in the VA hospital for over 3 month.  While I was there, I saw a fellow veteran who had dementia, which I had never seen in a person before.  The nurse told me, he was 48 years old, with a mind of a three year old.  Some people have really been dealt an awful hand in life, and Manuel was one of them.  He had to be hand-fed and bathed.  He was at the VA hospital for only a week, as he was being transferred to an institution someplace.  This article always reminds me about how lucky I've been in life.  (knock on wood)

21)  The Seriousness of Depression;
This is probably the most terrifying incident that I've been around in my life, and to see this will break your heart!  Years ago, my mother and I were visiting my alcoholic brother at the Mental Health Center at the University of New Mexico.  While we were waiting in the lobby, there was a commotion outside, involving the police, an eldering couple, and several other people.  There was pushing and shoving, and the police were trying to restrain the elderly couple, who were crying and screaming.  It was quite a scene, as they pushed and shoved their way through the lobby.  When the nurse came to get us, I asked her what was all the commotion about, and she said, "The house of the elderly couple had burned to the ground, and their two grandchildren parished in the fire!, and the police brought them for their own safety."   My mother and I looked at each other in SHOCK!  I think about this terrible incident every so often, and I think we bicker about things that aren't important...trivia.  THIS is such a sad thing that happened to the elderly couple.  You feel so helpless and hopeless when you see something like this happen. 

22) Count Your Blessings Everyday;
This piece could be the most important in my life, because it's a list of the most important things in my life over the years, and the things I have been thankful for, such as my eyesight, and my health.  There isn't a day that goes by, that I don't count my blessings. 

23) The Benefits of Chiropractic; 
This is probably one of the best things I've done in my life, and it continues in 2012.  Back in the 70's, I was a mess, sufferent from migraine headaches; nose bleeds and high-blood pressure, because of an accident to my neck and upper spine.  I started back then to get relief from these conditions, and things have worked out, so I continue to go today.  Chiropractors don't prescribe drugs, and so by going to a chiropractor, I have used drugs on a limited bases.  Another good thing for me.

24)  Prescription Drugs; The #6 Killer In the United States;
I think the people of America have gone over the line of insanity in prescription drug use, and that's why so many people die from prescription drugs every year.  They're hooked on drugs, and can't find a way out.  And, that's why I have chiropractic in my wellness plan, because chiropractors don't prescribe drugs, and I'm a healthier person today because of it.

25)When It Comes to Protesting; Americans Are a Bunch of Candy-Asses! 
In 2012, I am 67 years young, and so I have lived through the rebellion and unrest of the 60's, in which the American people took back their government, and kicked out all the scroundrels in Washington.  In 2012, America is in trouble...with the worthless Congress being the problem and not the solution...and are leading the country into a ditch.  America has to equal foe militarily...but, America does have its greatest enemy...it's own government!  And, it will be the American government, that will ignite the imp;osion from the inside, and make the United States worthless.  In 2012 Americans are wimps; couch potatoes; candy-asses when it comes to protesting.  If the American people don't come out of their 40 year coma, they will wake up to disaster, in my view.  We will be like Greece and Italy, on the verge of collapse.  But, Greece and Italy are corrupt...and that's where the United States is heading!  The Great Society will be over soon...

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Copyright; 2012; Jerry Aragon; The Humor Doctor

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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