Indeed, since the federal government is taking over and regulating everything, from student loans to the amount of soda we can drink, I think it might be time for them to take over all of the horse racing tracks too…
Once this is accomplished, all tracks will follow the new type federal government’s new age professed guiding principal…
Everybody wins, nobody loses…
Hence, in the interest of fairness, the government will pick all of the winners in all of the races and make sure no one loses.
Here’s how it will work...
Everybody in the country will be mandated to throw in a thousand buck "penalty" with their taxes each year…whether they go to the track or not. So admission to the tracks will be free.
Next, to avoid any form of discrimination, all animals will be allowed to participate in all of the races…to include: cows, chickens and even Bull Moose.
Instead of riding the animals, the jockeys will slowly walk their mounts to the finish line unison.
This way anyone can be a jockey regardless on size or weight. Then all race participants will be mandated to cross the finish line at the exact same time.
Since there will be no odds, at the end of each race, everyone will win $2.00, regardless of whether you bet $2.00 or a $1000.00.
Indeed, this is will be much better for our country rather than returning to the old failed ways of occasionally losing, learning from the lose; trying again, and succeeding.
Alas, there is a very big important race coming up this November, and it may well be the last race in which the American people get to pick the winner. So please make sure you go out to the polls this election day and vote like your future, and your children’s future and the future of our country depend on it.
Take my word for it, this time they really do!