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Blogs by Robert S Cosmar
Wishing the Darkness Away
5/28/2011 5:44:02 PM
MAGIC MAN'S MUSINGS
Darkness affects all of us. It doesn't matter what age we are or how much money we have. Moments of fearful darkness, at times, wash over us and seem hell bent to overpower us with whispers of fear. Some wake up at night with cold sweats. Others develop social phobias or anxiety attacks. Because the roots of darkness are unconscious, we seldom see the cause till we have an experience and then we often shake in fear.
Darkness is an accumulation of repressed emotions, ideas, and experiences we fail to face initially and they become buried within us. The mind can only accept so much, and when an experience is too horrible, it's pushed aside, like it never happened at all. It goes into the body and the unconscious, where it waits and gestates. Nothing in the universe evaporates and disappears forever. It goes somewhere. It goes to where it continues forever and evolves. The experiences and thoughts are energy. They have a mass, even though their weight may not seem like much.
In the unconscious, these negative charges, or experiences, are festering and seeking release, but it's prevented by the ego. The ego fears such a release, because it can lose its control over both the mind and the life of a person. The fear experienced in a phobia or anxiety attack (a spell of darkness) is mostly caused by the amnesia of having repressed the memories of related experiences over a lifetime. Like a volcano, the pain gets so severe in the unresolved subconscious that it threatens to erupt into the conscious. The mind continually fights this and one is left with a paralyzed feeling of despair. Medication and therapy can help to alleviate these issues, but they only treat symptoms -- they're not a cure for the cause.
It's hard to feel fear and face it. The mind says to run and not let go of control, while inside it feels like something is going to die -- and you're not sure it isn't you. The normal reaction is to run or distract the mind into believing the pain is imaginary. Sometimes you can do this. Other times the pressure is too great and a breakdown is certain to occur.
Breakdowns happen when the contents of the subconscious become conscious and the mind cannot interpret or face events that participated the pain. The mind becomes horrified at what it senses from the unconscious so it shuts down. Emotions take over and cries of insanity seem to overcome one's self in waves of near madness. It's not pretty, nor is it pleasant. The mind feels it's in a thunderstorm and it can't see the sunlight for the clouds. It's the dark night of the soul.
Darkness is a resistance to things we judge as wrong. We give our self a message that something should not have happened or possibly, that we are at fault. In essence, it's judging or condemning our self psychologically over things we had little or no control over. It is judgement based on guilt and often unclear within us.
Conscience is the creation of religion and, while the Ten Commandments are great ideals, the reality is, we still have the freedom to choose our actions. A deeper question might be, where did we get the idea of judging ourselves for our actions?
Things happen in life that we can't control and it does no good to punish ourselves for them. This doesn't mean we shouldn't discern whether the effects of our actions are pleasant or painful. Our hearts know what's good and pleasant and peaceful for us. After the mind has broken down and its hold over us has washed back to sea, a curious thing happens. An almost peaceful and serene clarity arises. A heartfelt awareness is born after the dark confusion is washed away in bitter tears. What we felt as certain death and punishment melts into expanded clarity or knowing. The gift of darkness is the soil on which awareness of self grows. We can only discover our depth through our darkness. It's like lifting weights -- resistance builds strength.
The mind's inability to cope is the necessary resistance that causes the heart to open and the spirit to bring a deeper awareness and insight into our nature. The universe doesn't judge us, the mind does. When we can see our lives from the depth of our awareness, the pain of unresolved unconscious memories melts in light of our higher consciousness. Yes, those events happened and they hurt, but no one is condemning you ... but you. You realize you were a slave to your mind and your ego. You can't wish away pain and darkness, nor can you hide from them, but when you see them through the eyes of truth, both dissolve in your new consciousness. Peace is the result of acceptance, surrender and nonresistance.
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