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Blogs by Leslie Musoko
Get in line sinner I was here first!
6/4/2011 9:33:24 PM
He took the dictionary and smashed it hard on the table shattering the glass beneath and scattering the beads that lay in the saucepan. He turned, reaching and then looking for it. He was moving, snatching the phone and throwing it violently against the wall listening to the sound of breaking metal as the fury burned within his soul.
He took the dictionary and smashed it hard on the table shattering the glass beneath and scattering the beads that lay in the saucepan. He turned, reaching and then looking for it. He was moving, snatching the phone and throwing it violently against the wall listening to the sound of breaking metal as the fury burned within his soul.
‘I am flawed,’ he whimpered, breathlessly. ‘I am indeed truly flawed.’
And then he was on the ground grabbing his head in his hands and locking himself away from life as he had come to know it. The bars in his despair where closer than he could have ever imagined. The nights were longer, the waiting nauseating.
‘I can do this I know I can. Yet I fail to see the purpose as I am already there. This voice makes no sense, it comes with a penance that leaves me distraught. How do I do it, where do I start?’
Endless questions, time afforded, reasons. Yes! Reasons! They where there when one needed them but still they were difficult to accept. A man can do good when it serves its purpose. A man would sacrifice when he sees the benefit of it. Still what lies in a man’s heart is what he will do when he faces the truth. This is the tell of his darkest hour. On this day he will make a prayer. It can go many ways but here is one way.
‘Dear Father, what does this sinner tell thee that you do not already know. I have failed to comprehend the wisdom that you have shown me through the years. I have failed to hear thy voice when confronted with the truth. I am my penance when my lust overcomes me. I fear my wrath because it controls me. I fear my folly because it is my disguise. Guide this servant to hope and thy faith. Guide this servant to the riches of thy bosom. When a man faces the storm he should be able to cry out. Call to his maker and father and say forsake me not for my burden overwhelms me. I am thy son and need this break father. Grant me this wish and make my joy holy. I cannot tell what lies in my heart because this sin that I commit is new to me too. One thing I can promise is to uphold my end as your grace desires. I am the fool with needless words in this prayer. I am the beggar that steals from your table. I am shameless in my search for victory. I wish for those things that I know only you can provide. I am lost father and seek you more than ever. I am lost father as I seek a path of escape. Make my burden lighter and remove sin from my shores. Make my burden lighter and take away resentment from my bones. I need your help father and your aid in my plans. I am dead to this world and hopeless in promises. I lie, cheat and steal with false promises. Help me dear God for I have fallen from thy grace. This is the prayer of the fool that kneels before thee. Help this great sinner to find peace and good shelter. I ask this through your son our Lord and savior. I beg this through our lord Jesus Christ, Amen.’
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More Blogs by Leslie Musoko
• Stranger things have happened... - Tuesday, June 07, 2011
• Get in line sinner I was here first! - Saturday, June 04, 2011
• Word for word... - Sunday, May 29, 2011
• Ring Leader - Friday, May 20, 2011
• Friend or Foe.. - Monday, May 16, 2011
• Indelible Vision... - Thursday, May 05, 2011
• Take me back... - Friday, April 22, 2011
• Temporal Enemy - Monday, April 18, 2011
• Epistolary to the future - Wednesday, April 06, 2011
• Basket Case... - Saturday, March 26, 2011
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• High Wycombe... - Thursday, March 03, 2011
• When people talk... - Tuesday, February 22, 2011
• God's time is the best... - Friday, February 18, 2011
• Am I my brother's keeper? - Wednesday, February 09, 2011
• Look but don't touch! - Friday, January 21, 2011
• Best of three... - Wednesday, January 12, 2011
• Endangered Species... - Saturday, January 08, 2011
• Lost and found... - Tuesday, December 21, 2010
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• Spreading wings.... - Monday, December 06, 2010
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• The hand that rocks the cradle... - Monday, November 15, 2010
• You may have problems but seriously mine are worse... - Sunday, November 07, 2010
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• Ali Baba and the forty thieves - Wednesday, June 09, 2010
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