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Paul Cuenco

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Member Since: Jun, 2010

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Blogs by Paul Cuenco

Predicament: My Stroke and Writing
4/2/2012 7:15:55 PM    [ Flag as Inappropriate ]

The reason why I started this blog was so that I could remember the things that made my life up. You see, for the longest time, I could not remember things that occurred or if I do, I could not verbalize them to anyone. I suffered a mini-stroke exactly three years ago. And although it was not drastic, meaning the left side of my person was not paralyzed, my thought had been affected. Sure I could remember words and events, but I could not verbalize them. It was as if there were two personalities within me. But Im sure that that was not the case. Only, I speak to myself, in thought. It was as if I was carrying two conversations although I was quite aware of what was going on. If you could see me then, I looked absolutely normal. I was there, in the thick of the conversation but not in the conversation. I wonder if my friends could ever tell. I tell them about the incident and some would just accept it as a matter of fact while others would brush it aside as if I was just saying it to justify why I was not conversing. Of course I admit that I did not converse much then, but it was more drastic; I just stare at them acknowledging what they say but not returning their conversation.
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Other literary work, search Paul Cuenco in: www.lulu.com, www.kindle.com, www.amazon.com, www.nook.com and www.bn.com

Website: www.paulcuenco.com
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I remember that day when it occurred. I came home from a long trip for a job and I felt absolutely tired. When I woke up the next morning, I had a report to do and I took a pen and started writing. But nothing came out of that writing. It was just a dot. I could not twirl my wrist to write a t or an e or a p. I wrote so small that all that appeared was a dot. Then I said a word. But I cannot say it. I stuttered, and stuttered horribly. I became worried. Not when my boss was going to call me over the phone. And so she did. She noticed a difference in my demeanor and insisted that something was wrong with me. I insisted that she was wrong, stuttering of course. I even went out to my neighbor so that she could tell my boss that everything seemed to be alright with me. But that did not convince her.

That was the time that the national economy was going south. So, I lost my job. I had a very hard time looking for a job; one because the economy was worsening and two because of the effects of my stroke. Whenever I had an interview, I memorize my answers, although not to a great effect. I try to hide my stutter but I realized that that could not be hidden. And when I wrote, I took my time, carefully, very carefully. Even though I could write, then, my writing became horrific.

As you know, I am a writer. I write a lot and love each time I do. Although I could write a little better, my writing was horrific. I could not take the stress of writing for a long time. After half a page, I get tired and unmotivated. I did not write for a long time, no, I did write some but I soon gave up. The journals I kept (up until then, I had about 20 books of journal writing) did not increase. About a year after my stroke, I began to dwell again with my journals. I self-published 4 books but that was not the same as writing. Writing involved though, forethought and putting that thought down on paper. I was not able to do that.

When I was driving down towards Greater Trumps, I began to think about how it was when I had a stroke. I began to hypothesize that it was not that I had two personalities within me like I was crazy. Rather, I think and verbalize, separately. I could carry a conversation within me but I could not say the things I am thinking. It was not spontaneous. The other thing I was thinking was why I had a stroke. I believe that my boss had something to do with it. My boss at that time was a very demanding boss and was a micromanager. She gave me so much stress that I somehow snapped.

Now, instead of writing, I type these essays. I dont stare and I dont stutter, anymore. And my thought and verbalization are almost in sync. I still sometimes forget words or events but not that often; that is why I write and can write these blogs. And writing the number 3 is still a bummer but at least it is nearly the number 3 anyone can write.

Other literary work, search Paul Cuenco in: www.lulu.com, www.kindle.com, www.amazon.com, www.nook.com and www.bn.com

Website: www.paulcuenco.com


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More Blogs by Paul Cuenco
• Predicament: Dave and Annette's Housewarming 2012 - Sunday, September 16, 2012
• Predicament: Portland Sands and its vicinity - Sunday, September 02, 2012
• Predicament: Mississippi Street Fair, Portland, Oregon - Saturday, August 25, 2012
• Predicament: Astoria, Oregon - Friday, August 17, 2012
• New Book for Father's Day! - Saturday, June 23, 2012
• Predicament: Saving Money - Wednesday, May 23, 2012
• Predicament: Old Haunts - Sunday, May 13, 2012
• Predicament: Courteous Portland Traffic - Wednesday, May 02, 2012
• Sorry - Wednesday, April 11, 2012
• Predicament: A Day at the Beach - Thursday, April 05, 2012
• Predicament: Dinner at a Deserted Restaurant - Tuesday, April 03, 2012
•  Predicament: My Stroke and Writing - Monday, April 02, 2012  
• Predicament: The World of the Bay Area - Sunday, April 01, 2012
• Predicament: A Competitor Indeed - Saturday, March 31, 2012
• Predicament: Democracy! - Friday, March 30, 2012
• Predicament: The Garden Party - Thursday, March 29, 2012
• Predicament: Gift-Giving - Wednesday, March 28, 2012
• Predicament: Suicide - Tuesday, March 27, 2012
• Predicament: Water, Water Everywhere - Monday, March 26, 2012
• Predicament: The Floods Of Manila - Sunday, March 25, 2012
• Predicament: Tita Dimple's recollection of Papa Trining - Saturday, March 24, 2012
• Predicament: The Future Should Be Brighter - Friday, March 23, 2012
• Predicament: Death of a Writer - Thursday, March 22, 2012
• Predicament: The Season Re-liveth - Wednesday, March 21, 2012
• Predicament: Time Had Forgotten About - Tuesday, March 20, 2012
• Predicament: Closing Time - Monday, March 19, 2012
• Predicament: Hasan Baharin - Sunday, March 18, 2012
• Predicament: A Pimple of my Nose - Saturday, March 17, 2012
• Predicament: What is Mike Cooking? - Friday, March 16, 2012
• Predicament: Papa Eriong - Thursday, March 15, 2012
• Predicament: Kind Words - Wednesday, March 14, 2012
• Predicament: Music and Whit 2 - Tuesday, March 13, 2012
• Predicament: Music and Whit 1 - Monday, March 12, 2012
• Predicament: What You Want to Be - Sunday, March 11, 2012
• Predicament: Father and Son - Saturday, March 10, 2012
• Liza's Life Plan - Friday, March 09, 2012
• The Colleague - Thursday, March 08, 2012
• Oh Taylor! - Wednesday, March 07, 2012
• Dena - Tuesday, March 06, 2012
• Losing My Job, Again - Monday, March 05, 2012
• A Plane to Nowhere - Sunday, March 04, 2012
• A Slave No More - Saturday, March 03, 2012
• Cirque du Soleil - Friday, March 02, 2012
• Mendocino - Thursday, March 01, 2012
• Th Coming Storm - Wednesday, February 29, 2012
• Becoming Old - Tuesday, February 28, 2012
• Ordinary Lives - Monday, February 27, 2012
• Books I Read - Sunday, February 26, 2012
• Discrimination - Saturday, February 25, 2012
• Quintessential Jokes - Friday, February 24, 2012
• The Catholic Experience - Thursday, February 23, 2012
• Promises, promises - Wednesday, February 22, 2012
• Sleepy - Tuesday, February 21, 2012
• Art for Art's Sake - Monday, February 20, 2012
• Mike's Ash Wednesday - Sunday, February 19, 2012
• Holy - Saturday, February 18, 2012
• Summer Home - Friday, February 17, 2012
• Pickpocketed - Thursday, February 16, 2012
• A Penny for a Drink - Wednesday, February 15, 2012
• My Roman Holiday - Tuesday, February 14, 2012
• Luck and Popularity - Monday, February 13, 2012
• It's Valentine's - Sunday, February 12, 2012
• Bosses - Saturday, February 11, 2012
• Education and Options - Saturday, February 11, 2012
• Windy Portland - Thursday, February 09, 2012
• My Job at Costco - Wednesday, February 08, 2012
• Compassion - Tuesday, February 07, 2012
• The Day Paul had Two Parties and other things - Monday, February 06, 2012
• When I Die - Sunday, February 05, 2012
• Sleeping and Dreaming - Saturday, February 04, 2012
• The Loneliness of a Country Road - Friday, February 03, 2012
• Jordan - Thursday, February 02, 2012
• Taxes Galore - Wednesday, February 01, 2012
• It's almost Valentines - Monday, January 30, 2012
• Habits We Indulge Ourselves In - Sunday, January 29, 2012
• To Cruise or not to Cruise - Saturday, January 28, 2012
• Blah, Blah, Blah - Friday, January 27, 2012
• Rain - Thursday, January 26, 2012
• Charlie* and Dad - Wednesday, January 25, 2012
• Writing and Being A Writer - Tuesday, January 24, 2012
• True Snow - Monday, January 23, 2012
• Reinvention - Sunday, January 22, 2012
• What I Miss - Saturday, January 21, 2012
• A Gift for Valentine - Thursday, January 19, 2012
• Venerable Mr. Wu - Wednesday, January 18, 2012
• The Snow Storm That Wasn't - Tuesday, January 17, 2012
• The Russians - Monday, January 16, 2012
• The Older Generation - Sunday, January 15, 2012
• What is the other half doing today? - Saturday, January 14, 2012
• Mike's Bird dog Stories - Friday, January 13, 2012
• Dying - Thursday, January 12, 2012
• This Modern Life - Wednesday, January 11, 2012
• Jabberwocky - Tuesday, January 10, 2012
• Marriages and Such - Monday, January 09, 2012
• Poetry in America - Sunday, January 08, 2012
• Old Friendships - Saturday, January 07, 2012
• Clark and a whole of other things - Friday, January 06, 2012
• Being (almost) Late - Thursday, January 05, 2012
• At my Starbucks - Wednesday, January 04, 2012
• The Sandusky Affair - Tuesday, January 03, 2012
• Happy Reading 1 - Monday, January 02, 2012
• New Year 2012 - Monday, January 02, 2012
• A Day with my Nieces - Sunday, January 01, 2012
• To Live and Enjoy Life - Thursday, December 29, 2011
• Goodbye Uncle Paul - Wednesday, December 28, 2011
• It's Hector - Tuesday, December 27, 2011
• Going Home - Thursday, December 22, 2011
• A Night in Copenhagen - Wednesday, December 21, 2011
• Trivia Night - Tuesday, December 20, 2011
• Paul's Novels - Monday, December 19, 2011
• Europe - Sunday, December 18, 2011
• Kimmy, my good friend - Friday, December 16, 2011
• The Sad State of my Affairs - Thursday, December 15, 2011
• Once There was a Mansion - Wednesday, December 14, 2011
• Lauren's Happy Uncle's Day - Tuesday, December 13, 2011
• Santa Claus - Monday, December 12, 2011
• Mike, the Francophile - Sunday, December 11, 2011
• The car that never died, I hope - Saturday, December 10, 2011
• My Christmas Lights - Friday, December 09, 2011
• Small Memories - Wednesday, December 07, 2011
• Owning a Business, Bar - Tuesday, December 06, 2011
• What A Wonderful Day - Monday, December 05, 2011
• My Typical Sunday - Sunday, December 04, 2011
• Steve Jobs book - Saturday, December 03, 2011
• Moving on to Spirit Mountain - Friday, December 02, 2011


Whispers Of The Heart by J. Allen Wilson

WHISPERS OF THE HEART is artist and author J. Allen Wilson's second book of poetry.It can be autographed and shipped within 48 hours of order...  
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