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Bo Drury

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Member Since: Apr, 2007

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OLYMPUS — Of Gods and Men [Aquarius Trilogy Book 3]
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Blogs by Bo Drury

Lonely Hearts
10/31/2011 8:59:50 AM    [ Flag as Spam or Inappropriate ]

dealing with being alone.

I realize some folks are alone by choice, but some of us are alone through no fault of our own. We are the ones learning to cope with the feelings of loss, and lonliness. The situation is handled in many different ways, depending  on the individual I am sure. In my case I had warning that it would happen eventually. My husband was diagnosed with lukemia. For two years we struggled through various treatments in hopes of a cure, but in the end I had to give him up. He left me with a writing telling me how strong I was and that I was a survivor. What he didn't realize was, he was my stength. I was strong when he was there to back me up. He also told me not to let the kids run my life.  Those two thoughts instilled in me a defense and determination not to let anyone tell me what to do! Fortunatly my home and car were paid for and aside from the social security, I had a small monthly income from oil royalities, but I had been warned not to rely to heavily on that for security. Our savings were depleted and the rental properties we had purchased were morgaged. I was overwhelmed with the thought of being alone and having all the responsibility by myself.

But remembering the confidence he showed in me, to be able to handle my situation, I was determined not to let him down or ask for advice or help.

To my amazment within a month the eligible batchlors were gathering at the gate, offering condolences and sympathy and to be my best friend and more. I had not even had time to grieve. How easy it would have been to let someone take over all the responsibilities. 

Then a ghost from my past knocked at my door. My former husband whom I had not seen in forty-two yrs was there. Strange as it may sound it was such a relief to have someone familiar calling on me I welcomed him with open arms. He saved me from dealing with all the would-be suiters!

As there was no animosity between us I turned to him in friendship which eventually turned into the love we had shared so many years before and we renewed the vows of the past. We had five years and then suddenly he was taken from me. In the blink of an eye, an unbelievable instant, his heart stopped. Once more I was alone.

Years before I had purchased a small country grocery store and had leased it out. Now I took the store and I worked. I opened at six in the morning and closed at eight in the evenings. My life was the store and the children, My friends were my customers. It was an everything store. We cooked and fed the cowboys who worked the ranches around us, the construction crews building houses or roads, I stayed busy til the pain of my loss passed.

I was on my feet fouteen hours a day, finally my knees gave out and I had surgery. I leased out the store and bought a house in town. Three years past and an odd incident happened and I met a man. He was a widower, retired military and had a farm twenty miles out from town. If you will read my short story "The Odd Box" you will know how we met. For two years we were friends. I liked him, remodeled his house for him, and enjoyed visiting his farm. We talked a lot. I think that was what I loved about him. I also though of him as a friend, but he was looking for a wife. I was not interested in marrying again, I just wanted a friend. When I told him no to marriage, he told me he had wasted two years courting me and he was too old to wait any longer to find a wife. Within two months he had married someone else.

I have wondered if I made a mistake. But I didn't love him as a wife should, so I think I was right not to make a commitment, but I have missed our long talks and friendship.

That was four or five years ago, and now through the internet I have met someone else. Actually he was married to a friend of mine. They were married fifty two years. He lives in another state far away. We have been writing back and forth for a year or more. When he suggested he might come and see me I panic. I wrote telling him several reasons why he should not want me as a companion. Why did I do that? I am lonely, I do care for him, why am I so afraid now? Because I am old, afraid of rejection, why do you think I did that!

If you read this I would like for you to tell me what you think, even what you think I should do. There is a place for comments listed after this. I thank you.



Comments (1)

More Blogs by Bo Drury
• A Day At The Funny Farm - Friday, February 14, 2014
• The Homecoming! - Sunday, February 02, 2014
• Why Is It? - Saturday, February 01, 2014
• Living a Life of Contradiction - Friday, January 31, 2014
• Taking The Test - Thursday, January 30, 2014
• I'll Blame It On Boredoom! - Thursday, January 30, 2014
• How And Why Do We Get Old? - Monday, November 28, 2011
• Our Veterans - Friday, November 11, 2011
• Fired Up! - Thursday, November 10, 2011
• Being Beautiful - Saturday, November 05, 2011
•  Lonely Hearts - Monday, October 31, 2011  
• Soap Opera - Saturday, October 29, 2011
• Twitter - Wednesday, October 26, 2011
• Dirt and Sunshine - Monday, October 03, 2011
• Ego Trip - Monday, September 26, 2011
• How Am I - Thursday, September 22, 2011
• To Move or not to Move? What a Question! - Sunday, November 07, 2010
• Saved Clippings! - Sunday, October 31, 2010
• absent ! - Sunday, October 31, 2010
• THERE WAS AN OLD WOMAN - Wednesday, March 03, 2010
• Choices - Monday, March 01, 2010
• Man and the Onion - Thursday, February 11, 2010
• Losses - Monday, February 08, 2010
• Books - Thursday, February 04, 2010
• Oh Dear! - Wednesday, February 03, 2010
• friendships 3 - Tuesday, February 02, 2010
• Friendships continued 2 - Sunday, January 31, 2010
• Friendships continued - Saturday, January 30, 2010
• Friendships - Saturday, January 30, 2010
• slipping and slidding! - Friday, January 29, 2010
• Snowstorms - Thursday, January 28, 2010
• Waiting! - Monday, January 25, 2010
• Know it All - Thursday, April 02, 2009
• Anoiher Time...Another Day - Saturday, October 04, 2008
• Weddings - Tuesday, August 12, 2008
• Our Golden Years - Thursday, April 10, 2008
• A Special Day - Sunday, March 23, 2008
• A Lifetime? - Tuesday, March 18, 2008
• Just A Box - Sunday, March 16, 2008
• dreams - Sunday, March 16, 2008
• Favorite Things - Monday, February 11, 2008
• Who Said That - Friday, February 01, 2008
• Aunt Polly Left - Tuesday, January 29, 2008
• Learning the 'Facts of Life' - Monday, January 28, 2008
• Dear Jay, from Aunt Polly - Monday, January 28, 2008
• Ask Aunt Polly? - Saturday, January 26, 2008
• Careful What You Wish - Sunday, January 20, 2008
• Wisdom in Writing - Saturday, January 19, 2008
• Reflections - Sunday, December 16, 2007
• Christmas Specials! - Sunday, December 09, 2007
• The Crystal Compote - Monday, December 03, 2007
• Writing a Book!!! - Saturday, December 01, 2007
• Lifes Seasons - Monday, October 29, 2007
• To Catch a wild pig - Tuesday, September 04, 2007
• Yip-eeee - Tuesday, August 28, 2007
• The Best Trip - Tuesday, August 21, 2007
• When I was a Kid - Friday, August 10, 2007
• Weigh Carefully Your Decisions - Wednesday, August 08, 2007
• No One Is Safe - Monday, August 06, 2007
• Do Not Open That Door - Thursday, August 02, 2007
• City-fied Country Girl - Monday, July 30, 2007
• Forced to Diet - Sunday, July 29, 2007
• Socializing - Saturday, July 28, 2007
• An Old Book - Thursday, July 26, 2007
• Write Ring Mystery-15 - Saturday, July 21, 2007
• Questions Unanswered - Tuesday, July 17, 2007
• The Write Ring Mysterys 13/14 - Tuesday, July 17, 2007
• the Write ring Mystery-12 - Sunday, July 15, 2007
• Thw Write Ring Mystery...10 & 11 - Saturday, July 14, 2007
• The Write Ring Mysteries - Friday, July 13, 2007
• Put-Putin Along! - Friday, July 13, 2007
• The Write ring Mystery ...six and seven - Thursday, July 12, 2007
• the Write Ring Mysteries four and five - Wednesday, July 11, 2007
• Just Country Cooking - Tuesday, July 10, 2007
• The Write ring Mysteries...page three - Tuesday, July 10, 2007
• The Writers Ring Mysterys...page two - Tuesday, July 10, 2007
• The Writers Ring Mystery - Monday, July 09, 2007
• Dear Little Friend - Tuesday, July 03, 2007
• Ageless - Thursday, June 28, 2007
• feeling young - Thursday, June 28, 2007
• People Pleaser - Sunday, June 24, 2007
• zoned - Sunday, June 17, 2007
• Indian Territory - Sunday, June 17, 2007
• It's a Dogs World - Thursday, May 31, 2007
• Birthdays - Thursday, May 31, 2007
• Memories of a lifetime - Tuesday, May 29, 2007
• An Artists View on Art - Tuesday, May 29, 2007


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