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Blogs by Maureen A Miller
Grandma
9/15/2011 5:55:07 AM
I have often been caught sharing the exploits of my 93 year-old grandmother. Let me introduce you to her.
No doubt by this time you've all heard me share a tale or two about Grandma. Let me introduce you to this little hellion.
93 years old and she still has to make sure she has the necklace and bracelet on every day. With Grandma everything is about appearance. Only a few years ago she gave up the battle with dying her hair, but she still has her hair done weekly. She will spend Saturday plotting what to wear to 'church' on Sunday, and if she feels someone was dressed better than her, she'll pout for a good hour or two afterwards. She has a walker, but she won't use it in front of anyone, and she won't step outside without putting lipstick and blush on.
Grandma lives in a residence that accommodates the elderly. It is not assisted living. She has her own apartment, and she cooks for herself, but the inhabitants are all around her age. The funny thing I learned through her exploits is that we all come full circle in life. I equate Grandma's peers to a bunch of high school students. Cliques are back in full force. It is a great debate over who you sit next to and who you are seen with. The 4 men to 30 women ratio has pretty much alienated these 4 poor gentlemen who band together and play pool, ignoring all the women watching them through the window.
Bingo is the absolute end-all at this place. Grandma will often be caught saying, "Three days till Bingo. Two days till Bingo." She gets very upset when "Mary" wins EVERY week. I calmly point out that Mary buys four cards so must never make a profit. That doesn't matter. Mary gets to yell, "Bingo!" There was a sad week when bingo was cancelled because Bob, the resident who ran it, passed away. Poor Bob, the first thing the ladies said upon hearing of his demise was, "Who's going to do Bingo now?"
This week, Grandma took a tumble in the parking lot. She suffered a broken nose, lacerations about the face and her eye is swollen shut. Of course she smiles and says, "You should see the other guy!" Some of you might have seen my Facebook post about Grandma discovering the new stud on the campus. An 87-year old who looks like a football player. I tease Grandma and say, "Oh boy, I bet he's going to find you real sexy right now. You look like Rocky." She tells me she turns her face away when he comes down the hall so he can't see it. Ever the teenager!
I feel like the most famous person in the world when I arrive at that establishment. The thirty women will appear in the hall (I honestly believe some sort of visitor sensor alarms goes off in their rooms) when I walk through, and they all go, "Ohhhh, the author is here!" hahaha I love that!
As you can tell, Grandma means the world to me. I promise to keep you posted with more of her exploits because they are quite entertaining. :)
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