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Mo'Kha Uzuri

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Member Since: Jul, 2009

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untittled
by Mo'Kha Uzuri

Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Rated "PG" by the Author.
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Recent poems by Mo'Kha Uzuri
•  Spring
•  Nona and Me (for Fabian)
•  The One That Got Away
           >> View all 4

"It's still rough, I would appreciate any suggestions."
JL-Mo'Kha

 

I used to cry for the moon

half sliced and alone

my eyes would glare and scorn the sun

as I watched the day come undone.

.. ..

Stars falling from the onyx sky

would cause my heart to ache

resembling streaming tears, rather

than chariots carrying wishes to their fate.

.. ..

I used to mourn the twilight

as night skipped further from day

confused by the plight of dusk’s diffused  bite

until I glimpsed the sun and moon’s embrace.

 

mokhabreeze.com

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Reviewed by Vicky Semones 8/2/2012
Hello, Mo'Kha -

You have led me to your wonderful work by becoming a Fan of mine, as I am now of yours. Thank you. Because you asked: I agree with another reader that your title could easily be 'Oynx Sky'. I would use present tense, saying 'I cried', 'my eyes glared...', 'I mourned'; and begin stanza 2 with 'my heart ached' for continuity of presentation about your feelings. What a beautiful, sad, powerful, hopeful, wonderful poem.

Deep Blessings, Vicky
Reviewed by Karen Palumbo 7/31/2009
A cosmic interpretation so artfully written. Why not "onyx sky" to envelop the entirety...

Be always safe,
Karen
Reviewed by Ronny Colanski 7/30/2009
This is a pale well worked poem.The choice of words is brilliand and the whole thing is pretty strong.I liked it a lot.You handdle words well.Great Job.
Reviewed by Edwin Hurdle 7/29/2009
Hi Jhae,welcome to the den.This is a well written poem,take care

EDWIN
Reviewed by Chantilly Lace (Reader) 7/29/2009
Enjoyed..thank you..Hugss
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