Deep in my mind
is a dark side of me
Depressed and hurt and lonely
full of precious memories
I think about death
it taps me on the back real soft
I realize I cant stop it
I think about it a;lot
I use to think "If only"
If only I had kids of my own
I'd have someone to love me
and I'd no longer be alone
But now that they are older
and one has already flown
I'm back to feeling lonely
and feel hurt I've never known
Now that they are older
they dont need me anymore
they don't need me to mommy them
Like I did before
No more kisses for their hurts
no more lullabies
no more "you're the best mommy"
no more gleam in my eyes
The fun part is over
they dont need me anymore
The depression that I buried
has found an open door.
By Sandra Rains
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