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William J Hiatt

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Member Since: Jan, 2010

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Tears that Bleed
by William J Hiatt
Friday, January 22, 2010
Not rated by the Author.
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Recent poems by William J Hiatt
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This is one of the many poems that plays a part in allowing others to see themselves in life, as the essays tie everything together.

The distant trees sway;

            Like smoke from a fire,

            Rising about the common,

            A raised plateau for the lost,

            To a land where one can be tossed.


With no means of return,

            Upon this endless night,

            The wonderer lives on,

            Without the roots of life.


In the land above the seasons,

            Is a bench of wood,

            A resting place for me –

                        The spot where I’ll sit and grieve.


I thought it was enough,

            To steal away the breath,

            But memories live on

            Within this shell –

                        A constant ringing of the Bells of Hell.


Screaming, I loathe for freedom,

            A lesser sentence for thee,

            Where tears won’t haunt my heart;

                        Even through tears that bleed.


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Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader) 1/22/2010
Nicely done and in a form that makes the content more interesting that it is, if that is possible. Because pain and suffering, mental pain and suffering has been a well-tried method of self flagellation probably since there were more than one person in this world. I think there is one word that shouldn't be in the poem, "Screaming, I loathe for freedom," / It is the loathe word. I imagine it is just me, but either I just don't understand the connotation of it. Maybe it would sound better and make more sense if loathe were left in and "for" removed. I know you have already published this, so maybe I shouldn't have spouted off, but . . .
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