by Jorod Enri
Monday, April 12, 2010
Not rated by the Author.
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One day I was taking a walk, wondering about what the future holds in this twilight of my life. I passed by this wishing well. I approached and gazed into the water...
A butterfly flew and landed on my shoulder,
I asked thee, “What hast thou brought for me?”
Thou whispered in my ear, “love and desire,”
Thy spirit’s wings brought peace and passionate fire.
I sent Hermes’ specter for all heaven to scour,
To hunt thy trails of perfumed tracks and budding flow’r,
Trifles my fancy of the perfect angel I admire,
Hallowed wishes that betrayed me in my years.
Thou sayest great love involves great risks,
And thy love is like a well that never dries,
Gorged by a river of prodigious proportions,
Satiating love and desire with pure seduction,
Thou asketh the distinction between lust and true love to me,
I tell thee lust is when I love what I see,
True love is when I lust on what’s inside of me,
And thy love sootheth my ills like an apothecary.
Angel, walking unto lucid beauty like a starry night,
I pray thee, personify what’s best of dark and bright,
Fair lady, thou turneth my tortured lips into a poet’s,
Dispense unto this soul verses, prose and sonnets.
Sun and morning dew nourished thy calyx to bloom,
Bees drank thy nectar from dawn unto gloom,
Through essences of lavender, tulips and hyacinths,
Calm the pounding in my chest and fluttering breaths.
I peered down thy well illumed by beam of full moon,
And queried my dream’s destiny to reveal my fortune,
I beheld my reflection mirrored through thy clear waters,
What the oracles in my somnolence did conspire.
Wise men prayed that we tend to ourselves,
For ‘tis thyself that is a true friend till the grave,
Oh sweet butterfly who brought forth love and desire,
I used to assert that notion as satire.
My poor soul walks in solitude, and I cannot bear
To tremble in these cold thoughts and ghastly fears.
Discovery of thy soul mate, the absolute one,
Alas, ‘tis the veritable mensuration of a man.
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|Reviewed by Charlie
|Welcome to the den! Always glad to meet another poet. I think this piece has a lot of poetic expression, but is written in a very difficult tense to master. This form of speech (Thee and Thou) is hard enough to read and understand when it's grammatically perfect. It does, however, give the poem a "prayer" kind of feeling.
Grammatical errors tend to get in the way of the whole continuity of this poem, but as an idea, I thought it was poetically lovely. --Charlie