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Tom Hyland

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· OF ALL THE GIRLS I LOVED BEFORE ...

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· HONEY, OUR VOWS MEANT NOTHING TO YOU ... BUT I DIDN'T KNOW

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Books by Tom Hyland
  ELF # 1
by Tom Hyland
Wednesday, July 15, 2015
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Tom Hyland
•  SHRIMPY
•  OF ALL THE GIRLS I LOVED BEFORE ...
•  ALL HALLOWS EVE
•  HONEY, OUR VOWS MEANT NOTHING TO YOU ... BUT I DIDN'T KNOW
•  CONTEMPLATING BAMBIíS NAVEL
           >> View all 515






A BIRTHDAY TRIBUTE TO MY
NIECE-IN-LAW'S MOTHER ...

RITA IS THE WHITE-HAIRED
ONE IN THE PICTURE ...






ELF # 1

Tom Hyland - (C) - 7/15/2015


She was Borned on July 24th, 1935 ...
A "Peanut Passel" of ... FUN !

Her Parents were "Tickled Pink" ...
With their God-Sent ... Lil "HON"!

So, Ma and Pa Wagner ...
Named Her ... Rita MARIE!

And what She lacks in Stature ...
She makes up for ... with GLEE!

Rita stands about Four Foot Nuthin' ...
And Never Ever Really ... GREW UP!

Consider both Height ... and Age ...
Neither Ever Filled Up Her CUP!

She was Baptized Catholic ...
Went to Many, Many a MASS !

Later, got confirmed ...
N' growed to a Cute Lil LASS!

By n' by, She met Charles Spitzler ...
N' they finally "Tied the Knot" !

After "Diddlin" some ... George, Inez, n' Doug ...
Is What They GOT !

Then, George n' Janet, Inez n' Jim, Doug n' Terry ...
"Diddled" some ... and Made her a GRANNY !


They BEGOT ...
Zachary, Jordan, Tiffany, Ray n' Jimmy ...

Then ... Great Grand-Kids ... Jason n' Arielle !

TEN LITTLE ELVES ... FROM ELF # 1 !

Now, Ladies n' Gents ...
Look to Your Left ...
Look to Your Right ...

One of Them Thar Ladies ... In her Oven has a ... BUN !

OH, YEAH ... IT AIN'T ... RITA !!!


All these Years, She Danced a Lot ...
Smilin' n' Laoghin' n' Shakin' Her FANNY !

Speakin' of WHICH ...


TIME-OUT ... FOR A TRUE STORY !


Many, Many Moons Ago ... Round 'Bout 5,000 ...
To Be PERZACT ...
Rita n' I Had a Date ...
N' That's a FACT !

The "ELF" had Two Tickets to a Dance ...
A "BRA BALL" ...
Sponsored by Non Other Than ...
Steve Rouse's WQSR's ...
"Rouse & Company"

At the Last Minute Her Best Friend Couldn't GO !
So, the ELF Called Yours Truly ...
"OK Doll ... I'll Be ... Your BEAU !

The Entrance "FEE" was a Woman's BRA ...
Proceeds to The Breast Cancer Foundation ...

Each BRA was Clipped to the Next One ...
Then Rolled into a Huge Ball ...
The Ball was Over Four Feet in Diameter ...

TALLER THAN ... THE ELF HERSELF !

The Whole Crew Was There ...
Steve Rouse, Tom Davis, Linda Sherman,
Maynard Edwards, Kristie McIntyre, n' even Mike Thomas!

Anyways, they Sold Tickets to a Raffle ...
The Prize Being ... A Fully Loaded ...
WURLITZER JUKEBOX !

I Bought a Gang of Tickets ...
Found Linda Sherman, Who KISSED ONE ...
For Me ... For LUCK !

But ... I Did Not Win ... DAMMIT !

So ... We Ate n' Drank n' Danced the Nite Away ...

During One Particular Fast Tune ...
This Big Hairy Guy in a Tank-Top ...
SWOOPS RITA OFF HER FEET ...

Like a Feather ... and Danced the Whole Song ...
Carrying Her Like a Lil Baby-Doll ...

THE WHOLE CROWD ROARED WITH LAUGHTER !

WHAT A NIGHT !!!

HAPPY, HAPPY 80TH BIRTHDAY TO THE ELF !

RITA MARIE SPITZLER


OH ... ALMOST FORGOT ...

As a Follow-Up to This True Story ...

I did some GOOGLE Research ...

Steve Rouse Is a FARMER !
He & Vicky Own Rousedale Farm
2604 Fallston Road
Fallston, Maryland 21047

It is Nestled in Harford County ...

Organically Grown Produce ...
Farm-Fresh Eggs ...
Free-Range Chicken ...

HOURS: Wednesdays - 10 am - 8 pm.
Thursday - Sunday - 10 am - 6 pm.

EMAIL - steve.rousedalefarm.com

URL ... http://www.rousedalefarm.com/


E... I... E... I... O...



HAPPY 80 TH BIRTHDAY RITA !

WITH LOVE FROM ...

ALL YOUR FAMILY & FRIENDS !!!

(C) - TKH.
†††



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Reviewed by Ed Matlack
She has not got white hair, it looks blond to me...Happy Birthday & my condolances at being ANY relation to this Hyland guy...-e-
Reviewed by Jane Noponen Perinacci
Happy birthday to a (I can tell.) a lovely lady!!

Love ya!

Jane
Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Wonderful tribute to the little lady on her 80. The only thing better on that date with her would have been that all of the ladies would have had to take their bras off at the party and that in all shake shake shake!

Ron
Reviewed by m j hollingshead

lovely tribute

happy birthday to Rita!

Reviewed by Regis Auffray
A most apt and timely tribute, Tom; filled with love and respect, it seems to me. Best wishes to Rita and to all of you from the man on Chilliwack Mountain. Love and peace,

Regis
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