An event at work yesterday triggered these thoughts and reflections. As I walked in on the backend of a conversation among men gathered during break. I heard one man boldly proclaiming to others how he just slapped the… &%#* out of his wife for not having supper ready on time when he came home from work. He did it with such bravado all the while thinking that he was a man.

Since Leah’s passing, I have spoken on many occasions with a number of ladies on the phone we talked for hours of many things, but invariably their hurt from the past would come out. I would listen and cringe at the ordeals that many of these women endured. In one instance, a young lady caught up in an abusive relationship was beaten almost unconscious by her husband and drug by the hair into the backyard and tied to a tree in the middle of winter up North until she learned her lesson. There are many more cases I could cite, but will not do so for the sake of time. Fortunately these women escaped those abusive relationships which were not always physical, but emotional abuse as well.

However and sadly I know from the time that my wife Leah did volunteer work at a local women’s shelter that many of these women will repeat the same pattern again, and again. They repeatedly take the abuse on the promise that it will never happen again…the men promise to change, but only GOD can change the heart. Ladies…if you are in a relationship like this…you do not have to take this. You are mans equal, not his doormat. And Men…if you hit, or verbally abuse your wife…then you are not a man, but a coward.

I know that there are always two sides to a story and that to have a meaningful and healthy relationship takes work on both parties. Ladies Try to understand your man’s frustrations of trying to make a living in a society in turmoil, and men, try to understand and pay attention to your wife’s issues of the day. They are just important as the ones that affect you. The bottom line is to treat each other with respect, and love all your days. The following poem is one from what I perceive as through a woman’s eyes.