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Dawn Hewerdine

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Member Since: Jul, 2011

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Featured Book
Alias the Tank: the nickname for the Access Mobility Wheel
by Rosemary Patterson

Psychotherapist falls in love with handicapped client as they battle his Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Explores possibility of normal life for a Chris Reeves type disab..  
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Chippers and Rattles LOL
by Dawn Hewerdine
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Rated "PG" by the Author.
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Funny poem about snakes, bugs, and extermination.

 

chippers and rattles
my two garter snakes
i found in my yard
when i lifted the rake

entwined together
sleeping it seemed
i know they were watching
they laughed when i screamed

 two spiders were playing
under the house
they grinned when i jumped
and tripped over a mouse

 i saw a gopher
dig down in the dirt
i smiled as i said,
“i saw that, you squirt!”

 the puppy was sleeping
next to the cat
dreaming of chasing
a giant black rat

 inside the cellar
i found quite a crew
of pissants and beetles
i stepped on a few

 i turned on the light
boy did they scatter
i didnt care
it didnt quite matter

 into the crevices
into the holes
i watched as they scurried
off of the poles

 the roaches were seen
but hiding in vain
i said to the master
“get out of my drain!”

the big cockroach laughed
then flipped me off
as into the doorway
i went for the loft

 i mixed a contraption
thinking surely it will
take care of those insects
i wanted to kill

 i set out the liquid
but to my dismay
the pests had a party
and went on their way

so back to my vehicle
i stomped away mad
got out my fogger
feeling quite glad

 i thought now at last
i’ll be free of those pests
they grinned as they watched
saying “surely you jest!”

 the fogger was broken
i made a new plan
i was going to get them
any way i can

 after trying and failing
and trying again
i set off explosives
from inside of my van

 the house was soon gone
as bug bodies splattered
i did not believe
that much else mattered

 feeling exuberant
it was victory this time
then i found out
the house wasn’t mine

 i got into my van
and drove away fast
hiding all traces
of the bug splattered blast

 i awoke from my dream
with the cat on my bed
i sat up slowly
scratching my head

 into the kitchen
i went to the sink
grabbed me a glass
for a nice cool drink

 from inside the drain
i though i heard chatter
i dropped my glass
and watched as it shattered

 i ran from the house
screaming like hell
all of my neighbors
heard me yell

 

 “they’re coming for me,”
i screamed as i ran
i tripped on the rake
bumped my head on the van

 



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Reviewed by Connie Faust
A good laugh on a very hot day! Thanks, and welcome to Authors' Den!

Connie
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Blooming Red: Christmas Poems for the Rational by Carolyn HowardJohnson

Here is a chapbook of Christmas poems that can be used instead of Christmas cards or last-minute gifts. Each is only $6.95--only a little more than a great Hallmark card--and the ..  
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