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Alexander Shaumyan

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Everybody loves my baby, but my baby don't love nobody but me
by Alexander Shaumyan
Tuesday, April 14, 2015
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Logical analysis of song lyrics.

Let’s try to apply the language of Logic and Propositions that we learned in class to the rag "Everybody loves my baby, but my baby don’t love nobody but me" (by Jack Palmer, ca. the 1920s).  Suppose that our universe has one relationship, LOVES and two distinguished individuals, ME and MYBABY.  For example, LOVES(ME, MYBABY) means “I love my baby” and ∃x ~LOVES(x,ME) means "not everybody loves me."

Let the domain for x consist of all people. Translating the proposition “Everybody loves my baby, but my baby don’t love nobody but me" into symbolic logic, we have

(∀x LOVES(x,MYBABY) )∧(∀x LOVES(MYBABY,x) ↔ x=ME)

Since the above conjunction is true ,  it follows that both propositions

∀x LOVES(x,MYBABY) and ∀x LOVES(MYBABY,x) ↔x =ME
must be true for all x.  We can then substitute MYBABY  for x to obtain


The truth of the first proposition LOVES(MYBABY,MYBABY) together with the left-to-right implication LOVES(MYBABY,MYBABY)→MYBABY=ME , imply that MYBABY=ME.

We must therefore conclude that individuals referred to as “me” and “my baby” are one and the same person.


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Reviewed by Edward Phillips
This is hilarious (in a logically, nutty sort of way). I don't think you could make a living writing songs in logical notation, but, wow! the creativity it displays is super.
Reviewed by Ronald Hull
I love mathematics, although I don't often understand some of the finer nuances, especially formulae like the ones expressed here (perhaps a diagram?).

However, since you've solved the equation for us, your conclusion is quite revealing. In biblical terms, when we are madly in love with "her." We are actually in love with our rib? Right?


Good to see you're back. Always enjoy your satire.
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